To think this is rude:

[BlueRedGreenPurple]

If someone who doesn't involve you in their child's life (like birthdays and other things) and doesnt take interest in your children's life either (doesn't acknowledge birthdays), phones you and tells you to make a cake for a big event their child is taking part in because her whole family will be there and they need a big cake. Then they give you instructions on what kind of cake they want. No invite or comments such as "we'd like you to be there too".

Isn't this incredibly rude?

Why did you not say no?

What do you mean you won't be able to get out of it now? Did you ever actually get 'in' to it?

don't make the cake. if you make it this will keep on happening.

what's the worst that could happen?

Breastfed your baby without permission???

I'd tell her to FOTTFSOFTFOSM

Was she in the hand that rocked the cradle?

She sounds a real delight.

Of course you can get out of it, just say no!

I didn't say no because she kept going on and on. I made a few excuses but she kept going on. So I ended up telling her ok.

Sorry for not engaging you scrambled in my first post. I tried to keep it short otherwise it would have been a novel.

'In hindsight I am sorry but I am too busy to make the cake'
There done.

I can't get out of it because she's bought around ingredients. She bought my niece around aswell to show me what kind of cake she wants. I'd feel guilty if I didn't make it. Could I write something on the cake? Like love from "aunty x" ?

You have to say no - she will always walk all over you otherwise! She goes on and on because she knows she can wear you down.

who is the sick relative? is she your brothers wife or husbands sister?

or make yourself a delicious cake with the ingredients she gave you and buy her a cheap supermarket cake. her child won't care!

You would be really daft to do this cake ....you really would.

Is it your siblings partner or Dh sis?

You can't get out of it?? Don't be so ridiculous, of course you can - the word is no.

My sibling's partner.

If you agreed to do it then stop moaning. If you really didn't want to do it then you should have said no, repeatedly until she got the message.

If you still don't want to do it then give her back the ingredients and a link to a cake recipe and tell her you just can't do it.

How are you related to her?

If you bake the cake then accept you've been a bit of a carpet on this occasion ....but don't martyr on about it.

Next time "just say no"

Turn up at her door with the bag of ingredients, dump it down and tell her you're far too busy to do it, but look! She has the ingredients now so she can do it herself.
Seriously, if you keep being her doormat, she will keep walking on you.

X post.

Speak to your partner, tell them you feel very offended at being excluded yet expected to do them a huge a favour without being nicely asked!

Nothing you can do now, but you shouldn't have made excuses. You should have just said no, sorry, got to go, and put the phone down.

What YoniMitchell said.

Doh your sibling!!!

Can't you take the sick relative with you to whatever function it is? Otherwise, say no too busy.
Unless of course, you like to be needed or want to be friends and involved with your sil? She obviously has no respect for your feelings and you are wasting your time though.

I'm not being a martyr about it. I just don't get how people do these kinds of things?