Hospitals letting families stay overnight in antenatal wards - unreasonable?

[Sansarya]

A friend of mine is currently in hospital being induced and told me that she's in a room with three other women, also being induced, and last night couldn't sleep as one woman had her husband and parents stay over and they talked all night.

I know the topic of men in postnatal wards has been covered extensively here in the past, but it's news to me that some hospitals let entire families stay overnight. Surely it isn't unreasonable to limit it? If I was being induced and things were taking forever, as they are with my friend, I'd want to be getting as much rest as possible right now and would be very annoyed if I was kept up all night by a nattering family!

That said and for all its faults, I am very grateful we have the NHS system over here. We are so lucky

I think the problem is that there are women who all have different needs all sharing a ward. Some people are celebrating and some are traumatised. Some people want their partners to stay, others don't want strange men on the ward. Some people's partners can't visit unless they bring the older children, some don't want children on the ward. Some people want peace and quiet, others want lots of visitors. In my experience of the postnatal ward most people only thought about themselves and most people wanted one of the 2 side rooms. You can't accommodate everyone's wants/needs, it's impossible. Just look at all the threads on here about partners staying overnight. Some posters say they need their partners to stay overnight, some posters say they need to not have strange men on the ward overnight. I think the only way to accommodate everyone is side rooms for all with en suite and a fold up bed for partners to stay if they want. Space for siblings to stay (bring your own camp beds and communal areas for women who want to be sociable. Enough staff to properly look after the women and babies.

2 problems though. 1 is cost, 2 is that nobody would want to go home!

When i had DD2 DH obviously couldn't come in after school as he had DD1.. So i was by myself on the ward whilst DD2 was in special care. The woman opposite had her husband in from 7am till 11pm and he did everything whilst she just sat in bed doing nothing

I think it does occasionally happen on other wards.

I was in a bay of 4 beds when I had my wisdom teeth out a few years ago. There was a young girl (17) whose mother stayed to look after her. They were very quiet you would not have known. There was a woman who was having investigations for bowel problems (must have been short of beds in the right sort of ward) and a lady of seventy something who had had a nose bleed which would not stop, with her two loud protective daughters who moaned about everything, were vociferous about getting a commode for her, getting her on the commode. The doctor said she should stop smoking as it hardens the veins and stops them from healing properly. They were absolutely incensed by this and told him, her, and everyone in contact. They told her what to do, what she should be feeling non stop.

Fortunately, it was a reasonably large room, I was hot and bored, so they provided some entertainment for me. They went home at night though, which was a huge blessing for me (and probably the staff too). She was fine on her own.

elliejjtiny - totally agree, everyone has such different needs and wants and you can't please them all.

You are so emotional when you've just given birth you sometimes can't see past what you want and don't think of others.

Due to cultural reasons my DH is not with me when I give birth and I do feel uncomfortable with other men around but appreciate this is unusual. With DC5 I didn't see DH for hours after I gave birth as he was looking after other 4DCs and wasn't allowed to bring them in until visiting at 7pm, I had a private room, but rules are rules, it was partners only, DC at visiting time. Due DC6 soon - at least know what to expect this time

Jackie How very sad that your manager is more worried about perception rather than their employees being able to do their job.

The maternity provision in the US is excellent and available to all. If you have no insurance you get exactly the same care. Most hospitals now have single rooms for all patients but the rooms are big enough for a second bed if they are full.

I was in for 5 days and loved that I had my own room. I needed privacy to recover from a difficult birth. It also shocks me that so many on here talk about being forgotten in a single room and those with stillborn babies being on the post delivery ward. Heck when we left with our PFB we donated to the ward to fill up the fridge with food for parents for the month. Was shocked when friends in the UK told me there was no food until the next meal. That's just cruel after a long lanour!

Elliejjtinythe most sensible post on the thread. Exactly.

Want2be really? And even if you don't have insurance it's free?

Name and shame which hospital was it.
Ridiculous carry on.
V unprofessional, unhygienic, thoughtless.

Sansarza, of course they'll have to pay - and health care bills are number 1 reason for bankruptcies in the US.

The stories here are shocking though - how can you sleep and rest in a ward with several other mums and newborns, not to mention their families as well? I had my first kid in France, will have DC2 in Switzerland. In Switzerland, you have to buy insurance, in France you're covered by a system similar to NHS. In Switzerland, you either get a double or single room and in case of double, there's a separate lounge for visitors. If you are in a single room, fathers can stay, but it will cost extra. In the French hospital, most women were in private rooms.

Threads like this worry me. I'm currently expecting twins, and my first birthday was an EMCS so it'll be another section this time, so home birth impossible. I've read recently that my hospital allow partners to stay on the post-natal ward all night, which is my idea of hell. I'm desperately hoping I'll get a private room, but hospital policy is that c-sections stay on the open ward.

Hazelnutt yes that's what I thought, so not exactly available to all!

Norah it was a hospital in South East London. I don't know which one but not Kings.

quesadillas has someone discussed with you whether another c/s is indeed necessary, as it really depends on the reason for the first section? Often an attempted VBAC is possible if this baby is in a good position for birth? Sorry, I am sure you know that, just responding to your wording of automatically needing a section this time due to previous section. (If you are aware of that but having a section by choice then is of course totally fine too!!!!).

A lot of posters mention that this thread has scared them in anticipation of their own birth. It is not always like this!!! Midwife led units are a great option and promote your chance of a normal birth if everything is straightforward and usually involves a private room with relaxed visiting - in private. In my hospital, the postnatal ward has very strict visiting hours and they really do adhere to them. Men can not stay under any circumstances - however they can stay on the MLU and in the bereavement suite if they have suffered a loss.

Not all hospitals would tolerate the terrible scenarios mentioned on this thread, thank goodness!

The maternity provision in the US is excellent and available to all. If you have no insurance you get exactly the same care. Most hospitals now have single rooms for all patients but the rooms are big enough for a second bed if they are full.

It's excellent, because we pay for it and it's actually illegal not to have insurance these days under Obamacare. The piece you miss out above is what your insurance actually covers for as every plan is very different. And most hospitals (at least here in NYC) don't have single rooms as standard. Our insurance coverage (which is one of the better ones) covers me for a shared room for 'free' if I want private its about $800-$1000 a night that we have to pay for.

If you are pregnant and don't have cover Medicare steps in and covers you. I know someone who was in this position and they had exactly the same care as I did and paid nothing for it. Once their child was born the child was covered by the state provision which was free. The mother was not covered past their disability period (8 weeks as the doctor extended care for 2 weeks). The mother once pregnant qualified for the WIC program which ensured she had enough healthy food.

The bankruptcy issues you hear of are down to issues later in life with patients wanting to take part in experimental treatments and treatments with huge copays while continuing to own their home. Medicare is there is step in and cover bills but you need to spend down on your assets. It's normally preferable to go bankrupt because certain assets such as your pension are protected by bankruptcy but are not with qualifying for government care.

FWIW I paid $50 for my prenatal care, $50 for delivery and $1500 for my hospital stay. I had a CS and was in my own room that had wifi. DH was able to stay overnight if he wanted to. As dd was home he didn't stay.

I really appreciated having my own room. I was able to set the temperature and sleep in peace. The nurse assigned to me for each shift were all excellent and at no time was I forgotten about. I also think the cost is affordable as you have to remember we have much more disposable income with lower taxes. We paid 15% income tax last year and DH makes a lot of money. When we earned less we paid about 10% income tax. Obamacare has increased healthcare costs for many lower income people. I don't know how the people I work with afford the coverage. It's $1000 a month for health insurance for a family and then you still have copays on top. I'm in the NyC area and most people are making $150k or less.

miss deliver at either palisades on river rd or englewood hospital. Both are single room facilities.

Please don't be worried! I was worried as I was sure beforehand that I wanted no visitors but definitely wanted DH to stay. In fact, I gave birth mid afternoon and was delighted to see visitors straight away; I was euphoric, very proud of myself and wanted to show off my amazing little baby. I also sent home DH at about 7pm to get some sleep. He looked exhausted and was actually a bit traumatised by seeing me in so much pain, but I was full of adrenaline and knew I wouldn't get any sleep with my gorgeous newborn to stare at.

You just don't know how you'll feel until it happens. Even though I had some terrible ward experiences (forgot to mention the food: after 2pm birth, toast for my evening meal, toast for breakfast, NHS Christmas lunch (inedible) and as it was Christmas Day they had no food for dinner - I was offered an orange. So one meal in the 36 hours post birth. Thankfully DH brought me some leftovers from DM's Christmas dinner! Lesson - take plenty of food!) i just focussed on getting myself and DD out of there so the rest of our lives could begin. No matter how hard it is, you'll be home eventually and, in the vast majority of cases, with your healthy newborn (s). I can't say I look back on that time fondly but I know it was worth it for DD.

Want2 when I had DS i laboured overnight. I was given 2 slices of toast and a cup of coffee, even though I needed to go for surgery. I was I. Surgery/recovery through lunch and dinner. When I arrived on the post natal ward and asked for food, I was told I had missed food and would get breakfast! My sister worked and the hospital and I knew this was not their policy. Being pressed, i insisted that they got me a "packed lunch" that was a sandwich in a bag with drink, cross and an apple. I also stated that if Tuna turned up, they would need to change it (I'm allergic) so it might be better to make sure tuna didn't come.

I didn't like being pushy, but I did ask how I was supposed establish breastfeeding on a couple of slices of toast in an entire day?

auditangel I will never forget being told I was on a liquid diet only for 12 hrs after having DD. Half my breakfast disappeared and no one told they were making a shake for me! I almost cried when I picked up my phone to have them ask what fruits or veg I wanted in my shake.

It's totally stupid that food is restricted with a natural birth. I had preclampsia so no salt for me. The chicken broth was to die for but zero salt. The fruit smoothie saved me.

Food is restricted in case a general anaesthetic is required? Surely this was explained to you?