Hospitals letting families stay overnight in antenatal wards - unreasonable?

[Sansarya]

A friend of mine is currently in hospital being induced and told me that she's in a room with three other women, also being induced, and last night couldn't sleep as one woman had her husband and parents stay over and they talked all night.

I know the topic of men in postnatal wards has been covered extensively here in the past, but it's news to me that some hospitals let entire families stay overnight. Surely it isn't unreasonable to limit it? If I was being induced and things were taking forever, as they are with my friend, I'd want to be getting as much rest as possible right now and would be very annoyed if I was kept up all night by a nattering family!

These stories are absolutely horrific, particularly the thought of other people complaining about the noise when you're in labour!

Pims, do you have anyone who can make the complaint for you?

I can understand someone not wanting to make a complaint while the people are in the room with you - that's a very awkward situation.

I would love to ask MNHQ to get someone from the NHS on here for a web chat about this. Will report my post and ask them now.

Our hospital kicked everyone out at 10pm. Partners could come back in from 9am (after rounds and breakfast) Other visitors were only allowed during normal visiting hours.

On the labour ward itself partners were allowed to stay at all times.

Pregnant women/new mums need rest. There is no way you should be allowed to have people stay all night.

I think it should only be allowed in private rooms. Of course it shouldn't be allowed in public wards (I can see that the labour one is an exception).

It is just asking for a possible abuse situation. At night-time the wards are not so closely watched and people are asleep.

I had to go to theatre a couple of hours after my baby was born I was numb from the chest down and couldn't do anything for her. This was at 8pm/ As soon as I was wheeled into the ward, my OH was told to leave. He asked If he could stay another hour as I was in a state, physically shaking uncontrollably, panicky, upset (very traumatic birth), they said no. Put a buzzer in my hand and told me to press it if my daughter cried. How horrible.

Then... the next night a lady next door who had a pretty "normal" birth, ended up with her husband in there until 11pm, eating takeaway. Fucking joke. (yes staff knew they were there)

Realise I was very lucky. Our nhs maternity unit has private ensuite rooms that you stay in for labour and recovery. Dh came and went as he pleased however there were visiting hours for everyone else which were stuck too. Heard every bloody phone conversation the woman in the room opposite had though! Hope your friend gets some peace soon.

(When I say next door I mean the bed next to me (Was a ward of 4 people)

Awful. Complain.

Strong complaints to senior staff are needed when these kinds of situations occur.

I suspect that often the staff are frightened of confronting people who behave this way because as pp said, these are the very people who will likely become aggressive and unpleasant if challenged.

When my daughter had her baby just under a year ago she was in the loveliest midwife led maternity unit imaginable.

Her DP was allowed to stay all night but she had her own room with loo and shower.

The staff were all amazing and seemed to have all the time in the world to offer support and advice - realise it probably wasn't a busy time - and she was told she could stay as long as she needed, which she did, so was able to get all the help she needed with establishing BF.

That's how every maternity unit should be.

Needless to say this was one of the maternity units that the NHS was going to close down. Fortunately it's still going as there was such an outcry; suspect it will be closed eventually though as once these things are mooted they usually go ahead.

Just hope it last long enough for her to have her next baby there.

Coffee - this will sound very cynical, but I suspect you and your dh looked like people who would obey the rules and wouldn't kick off, when he was told to leave, and the other couple looked like the kicking off type.

Fwiw, I don't blame staff for not wanting to confront aggressive patients or visitors - they get way too much abuse already - but maybe hospitals need to increase their security staff, to cope with this problem.

Pimms you do need to complain to the midwives.

If the hospital is anything like the one I was at, this lady may not even come back to the same bed! This family needs kicking out.

Of course this shouldn't be allowed. You should have rang and asked the nurse to tell them to leave. There really isn't any excuse for this type of inconsideration for other patients.

Well this happened to me i was induced. I was on the inducing ward,apparently strictly no family after 9. My family went and 2 other families stayed.

It's not just the noise though is it? I wouldn't care if they were quiet, I still wouldn't want them there. Dignity and privacy should be a priority as well as peace. Selfish bastards.

I had a horrific time with my first birth and had to go in the high dependency unit. You were only allowed 2 visitors at a time. The cubicle next to me had about 13 in, having a party. The best thing was that the woman they were with had been moved to a normal ward. They all stayed there and cracked on with a buffet on her bed - even though they had been told a couple of times to leave. It still pisses me off 5 years later.

I was induced with my second and had to stay in. One of the other women's mothers stayed. I was so relieved that my labour started as she never shut up. She was so loud and loved the sound of her own voice. It was horrible when I had to get all of my things together in front of them while having contractions and her commentating on me. Some people are just twats.

My waters went six weeks early and I was on the antenatal ward four days before being induced. The woman in the next bed had several visitors for 16 hours a day and then talked on her phone all night. She was in as her diabetes was out of control. Every single time she was offered tea or coffee, she asked for four sugars. Her blood sugar was tested every few hours around the clock and she would scream hysterically every time they pricked her finger. Every time food arrived (food that she had chosen from the menu), she pressed her buzzer and asked the staff what else they had. She frequently pressed the buzzer asking for warm milk and cheese pasties. Her constant noise and complaining pushed me over the edge and I ended up in tears begging to be moved.

On postnatal, the other two women in the room were from the same area and spent the entire time discussing who they knew in the area and who was currently in/out of Strangeways amongst their mutual acquaintances.

I understand the cost implications are unrealistic but something has to be done to try and make private rooms available for all.

There's a MN poster (not on this thread) who, while she was in labour, was told to shut the fuck up by the teenage boy in the next bay who was there with his pregnant girlfriend. Appalling.

Also, it's women who have already had a rough deal out of the whole labour/birth situation that have to endure all this nonsense, so it seems doubly unfair; women with straightforward birth and no complications are usually in and out very quickly so it feels like a double whammy of shitness when you have complications/ a poorly baby as well as putting up with shared ward idiots.

mango that sounds like a terrible experience

Unfortunately private rooms would cost far too much, and lots of patients wouldn't be suitable for them, but behaving considerately should be enforced.

I also had a moaner next to me in the postnatal ward. It was her second baby but she didn't feel confident changing the nappu so moaned until the staff gave in. (And no she hadn't had a c section, and was well enough to saunter round).

In addition while I was in the postnatal ward with threatened preterm labour and what would have been likely a not viable baby, a woman there with her healthy baby had the nerve to complain about my dd visiting, when her baby had kept me up all night. (No, I'm not complaining about that, but some consideration that being next to a healthy term baby when you are having difficulties in pregnancy would have been nice)

Yes I am very bitter after four days antenatal ward, 2 days labour ward, 6 days antenatal and STILL had to walk out with no baby.

Sorry for ranting. Now we're out of the newborn stage when I think back I can't quite believe it all happened. I shall go and do something productive instead!

I'm glad you are well now.

As HCP, unfortunately, we have very little control over what relatives and indeed patients do. Short of phoning security or the police all we can do is ask and try to explain situations to people. If they insist on staying, even at the detrement of others we are powerless. I've been in this situation many times. It's unfortunate but just how it is. Not the staffs fault but society as a whole IMO. .

My antenatal ward had a good set up. It was split in two halves. One half was maternity assessment and induction. Birth partners could stay all the time and everyone else had to stick to visiting times. Other half was antenatal ward. Visiting times only and quiet at night. Anyone who wanted to be loud or have their partner with them could stay in the "noisy" part of the ward.

So surely in that situation you do exactly that and call security to turf them out? Not just leave them be!

I am so shocked at these awful stories.

I'm hoping even more fervently for a home birth now.