AIBU to ask for more board from 22 year old son?

[tomjonesishot]

Hi everyone

I've read the board for ages but have registered to ask a question as I really don't feel I'm being unreasonable but my son (22) does and it's causing arguments.

He's just started a new job and I've found out he's earning £200 per month less than me, with him earning 1100 per month.

I pay everything, all the household bills, he pays nothing.

Until this new job, which was around 800 p/m he's been paying 20 per week board which includes everything - food, all utilities, rent, internet etc and I do all his washing, ironing, make his packed lunch for work. He doesn't do any chores in the house, maybe changes his bed a couple of times a month but invariably I end up doing it all as I can't stand mess and clutter, dishes in the sink etc - I accept that's my problem, I can't even have a cushion out of place so I don't expect him to clean/tidy to my standards but would like more help with taking the bin out, putting washing in etc.

He makes his own meal of an evening and is generally tidy, just not as tidy as me lol. He really is a lovely lad, if a bit lazy, and I'm very proud of him re getting a degree, having no problems re drinking, drugs, police etc and his work ethic.

I've asked him for more board as he's earning more, frankly I'm struggling a bit financially and the extra money would be very handy. I'll let you know how much I've asked for if anyone would be kind enough to say what they think would be fair?

Thank you! :)

Yay! Well done you. Be strong, stick to it. He sounds like a nice guy. Soon he'll be nice AND capable. A real catch :)Off to strip the beds with 4 & 7 year olds ( i'm not smug, I'll probably end up with two mad party heads, not AT ALL like their old Ma ;) )

Thank you but you lot take a lot of the credit for making me see the light ha!

I am a similar age, I live with my parents and dd.

I pay 200pm and we split food bill, cooking and cleaning.

They don't have a mortgage or rent so that is just towards bills.

My mum has been able to drop a day at work, dad is retired, and I can work my shift job without dd sleeping away from home so everyone is happy

Cheap at twice the price. My parents charge my sis and I more than this over ten years ago. And the deal was we had to save the same again for our house deposit or the rent went up.

I'd have gone for the choice to be- either a fair split of the household bills if he sees you living together as permanent, or the £200 'board' plus he saves 200 into his deposit fund if he intends to move out at some point. But you have moved things on, so well done and good luck!

He's goiung to have a shock when he realises he will need to spend more than £10 a week on food

When I started work in 1991, my take home pay was £500 and I gave my mum £200.

She is currently living with us temporarily (my dad died in January and mum isn't ready to go home yet, that's fine, we love having her and we have room) and she's giving me £50 a week!

i sympathise with the lazy bit .....my 25 ear old sons partner is always moaning that its my fault he is a lazy sod .i was always a sahm .always run after his bum still do his dad and two brothers .and did i do right no actually i made a rod for my own back .i have a daughter in law who curses me and a lazy young man. .and he paid no digs until he moved out last year .am i ashamed of this YES

Part of the agreement should be that he's saving up every month for a deposit.

Most people I know seem to spend 1/3 on just bills and their rent- bills not including food.

You've well and truly created a rod for your own back though OP so don't expect easy sailing.