To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

Not as bad as some of the awful things I've read about on here, but…

"You've let yourself go! You used to have a fantastic figure. You should have more respect for me than that. What will other people think of me?" from a boyfriend when I was in my early twenties. I had had the temerity to go from a size 10 to a size 12, at 5'8", whilst studying for some professional exams.

"You have to have no beam at all to wear shorts": my mother, when I was 19.

"Nobody wants a weeping willow": my mother again, when I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me when I was 30 and was understandably quite upset!

"Have you put on weight? You used to be thin." Son of a family friend. I had a 3 month old baby. (Also not the point but I could only ever have been truthfully described as thin for about 5 minutes in my early twenties.)

My sister (who is a very smug married, huns, hubby, live, laugh, love, selfish impatient and a little insecure type) once proclaimed that myself and my two children were not a proper family, and therefore shouldn't call ourselves one, because I am a single parent.

MIL - "you would look much better if you lost weight and wore makeup"

MIL - "you are making him sick with your milk - you should give him formula"

Guy at work - "Oh my f.....ing god, you look like an enormous teletubby"

A doctor asked me if I had always had stretch marks. Being sensitive about my weight and having an eating disorder, I replied "no, of course not, I was fucking born with them!" The silence from the adjacent cubicles was golden as the whole ward digested my retort.

When I was very heavily pregnant with dc2, my mil said as I was about to get up out a chair, "Gosh, you'll need a crane to get you out of there!"

When I was 15 I was visiting a friend in hospital (her mum had begged me to go cos she was scared and upset) her dad (divorced) went into a 'humorous' rant about teenager's dress sense, why did we want to wear black, didn't suit young people, I looked like I was going to a funeral....
I was actually on my way home from one - my grandad's.
My DM when I told her I was pregnant with DD2 - what have you gone and done that for? We are all settled with just having DD1(then 6), I'm too old for another grandchild. (And they live 300 miles away so not like she was expected to do babysitting duties etc)
But the worst ones are those said to someone else...
A girl on a hospital ward with me - she was born with a deformed leg and had had numerous operations on it, at 15 she had gone to (what she thought) was a routine appointment with her surgeon on her own - when he said cheerily 'so how do you feel about amputation then?' (Apparently she thought he was joking at first - but she was then 17 and having her leg amputated from mid thigh)
And the other to a friend by another mum who was busy announcing to everyone in a toddler group she was pregnant again ...a few weeks before my friend's baby had died at a few days old, so she was trying to avoid the 'mum to be' to not worry /upset her. But 'mum to be' made a bee line for her and said 'I heard about your baby - better be quick and try for another then.' (nudge nudge.) This was several years ago and my friend still hasn't forgiven her. (In Mum to be's defence - I know that her mum lost a baby just before she had 'mum to be' and said the best thing she did was to get pregnant again really quickly because it helped to distract her -but still...not what you say to anyone in that situation, especially when you barely know them)

"I always wondered what you did to put him off" family member few months after break up from at that time DP.

Trivial compared to most of the other posts, I am literally at some of these.

Oh yes, how could I forget this one?!!

Had just come out of a mother and baby unit for severe pnd and severe anxiety. Had been in there 7 weeks and was on a cocktail of psych meds. Went along to drop my dc2 at football. Bumped into a christian lady (I am also christian). She proceeded to tell me that the drugs wouldnt do anything and that they weren't the answer, and that it was all caused by spiritual forces that needed to be broken off me!!!!!! Have avoided her since. As a Christian, I believe in prayer, but there is also a place for meds.

Consultant - "Don't worry about it, it doesn't count as a real baby" after a 38wk stillbirth.

Once I was in Gap, a Designer Outlet branch (York in case she still works there). I had lost 3 stone and was back to a size 12. So I was finally shopping for jeans.

As I rooted through them, a middle aged shop assistant came up to me in that oily, greasy way they do in GAP and started rummaging alongside me, bellowing "You look like a size 16! You're definitely a size 16! Let me help you find a pair - am sure we have some LARGE ones somewhere...." She then instructed me to read her name tag and tell them at the counter she'd helped me. Bitch. Did I feck.

After my second pregnancy I had had hypermesis so lost about 2 stone whilst I was pregnant. I was at university in the States. A creepy man, mature student, came upto me and asked loudly if I was expecting. That was actually the thinnest I'd been in about 3 years.

MIL bought me Oil of Ulay as it then was called as a xmas gift. When I was 22. She was hideous and hag-like. I was unwrinkly and lovely. WTF was that about?

My mother.... I called her to let her know DS, then 1 month old, had been admitted to hospital. She didn't even asked what was wrong, she just screamed on the phone "It is YOUR fault, you don't take good care with him!" (DS was in hospital due to a condition he was born with).

Our Brownie leader, to a rather overweight 7 year old (an orphan who lived with her grandma):
'You needn't come to the St George's Day parade, you spoil the look of the group.'

"Wow, don't lose any more weight, will you". This person knew I'd been in pain for months following a botched hospital procedure, & unable to eat much. Oh yes, I really loved looking like a skeleton with eyes like a panda. Did it on purpose, obviously.

I'm ???? at some of these!

'You've got a little bump!'
'At least you can have a drink this weekend'
Both from my mother, days after I was discharged from hospital having had a miscarriage.

So so many. Where to begin.

After five years of unexplained infertility going into theatre for lap. I was crying, nurse checked my chart and said she was surprised i was crying as I was "only" having lap. B*tch.

My mother. Every time I talk to her. Bought me a weighing scales for Christmas. (Had put on weight at uni). Gave me a tub of stretch mark cream that she bought after I got married, but as we took so long to get pregnant (see above) she opened it when she ran out of body moisturiser and used some herself. Continuously told me and sil not to have babies over thirty. (We were both over thirty and she knew we both had fertility issues).

But my favorite. Accidentally fell pregnant with surprise second. Told mum. Her response? "It's early days and mightn't go anywhere". Eh, thanks mum!!

My mother, when told about my pregnancy said "don't expect me to buy it anything, I wasted my money last time." ( previous baby stillborn).

My DM once told me as a teenager that 'I never wanted children' and that when I was born she 'told the midwives to take it away, because I don't want to see it'. 10 years on and that little statement still holds a lot over me.

Towards the end of my pregnancy with my DD, my boss looks me up and down and proclaims: "gosh cheese, you really have got so fat, I see what everyone means!" Then went off on a rant about women using pregnancy as an excuse to eat too much, removing any doubt that he just meant my bump was big. Wince.

The last one would be a bit of brass neck from ex-colleague. Emails me as she was starting a new business within our industry and was recruiting. She wanted to know if she thought my colleague, R, who does the same job role as me (although I am senior by experience, without outing myself) might be interested because she's a cut above everyone else and was wasted in my workplace. Seems I was included in the rest of the deadbeat team, as I was never invited to join her sparkly new company, but she chased me for months for news on R's intentions to join her.

MIL told me it was my own fault my family didn't want me and I was repeatedly abused in the care system, was my own fault too, must have been my fault to have happened so often I must have let them know I was gagging for it.
We employed bouncers at DH funeral, they were well used in encouraging MiL to stop shouting "he never loved you", you caused his MS brain toumor and death. Had to leave by to the back door after the funeral as outlaws were blocking the way out.
Lots of clumsy comments afterward, bet you can't wait to have a bed all to yourself and not having to be up half the night giving morphine etc, still he's in a better place, try explaining that to our three children who have autism.

Ah, yes.

Mother of my very nice long ago ex boyfriend, when I attended his wedding some 10 years later: 'Oh, iHave, what a LOVELY hat, it COMPLETELY covers your face!'. She was called Joy, a misname if ever there was one!

Mother, recently, after my triple surgery on leg (mobility probs for 10 years, 2 young kids, single): 'so, is it better yet - can you lose the weight now? yes, if you come down (300miles) I will see you. cant stop now -busy busy' (I had also just told her her grandson had learning difficulties and her granddaughter was having orthodontic treatment at a young age). Nice :(

On announcing our 2nd pg: (both IVF and long awaited)

Mother: 'aren't you too old to have another one?' (I was 37)
MIL: 'whose idea was that?'

On meeting some of my father's family for the first time: 'well, you have nice hair...'.

Small wonder I have self esteem issues, really...

From a 'friend' - it's a shame, you'd be hot if it weren't for those. Pointing at my scars. My self harm scars.

And from a male aquaintance 'is your friend single? ... Or yourself.' I don't know if I was supposed to be flattered or if I wad an afterthought

FrankTurner - that is beyond words, I am so sorry.x