To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

After crying to a family member about yet another miscarriage - get over it, that was last week. She was struggling ttc but still!

Whilst heavily pregnant. Dad "you look like a swollen pig" Jeeze thanks dad!

After having an emcs and in bit of a state. DM "sorry I didn't visit you in hospital, it had been snowing". Fair enough it had, but it was pretty much slush by the time I'd DD....

Ex Dp after having chemo "when is your hair going to grow back?" Great cheers darling, as if I don't feel self conscious enough about having lost my hair.

Funnily enough, I have a few gems from the ex Dp!

Mum at school moaning at me about how the kids with SN "get all the attention and shouldn't bloody well be there anyway! Should be in special schools!".

My ds has autism, dyspraxia and hyper mobility and needed a lot of support.

After 8 years of ivf and Icsi treatment, "well, some people just aren't meant to have children, you'll get over it" (said whilst jogging their baby on their knee).

The morning after giving birth to DD, (after an episiotomy, ventouse delivery, internal tear, lost 2 litres of blood). In a lot of pain and trying to breastfeed.

It was hurting terribly so I thought the latch wasn't right, and was trying to adjust.

Midwife said "just leave her attached, it's not hurting you, it's just a bit of discomfort, you don't know what pain is."

DH was furious. I was so exhausted and vulnerable I couldn't even say anything, just started crying quietly.

One to restore your faith in humanity.
Dh had testicular cancer at 18. Had one removed. Was told he may be infertile but if he did have kids would be all same sex. This was 20+ years ago. Our son was born the day of his last check up. His consultants was one of the first to hear the news. We had 2 more sons...dh was convinced that was it ... We tried one more time...
Nd had a little girl who's now 3 and rules the house. Would love to find the doc to let him know!

Oh I remembered another one: My mother was rabidly jealous of me when I had DS, and made no effort to conceal it, in fact she demanded everyone revolve around her as she was sooooo upset. She didn't give a shit that I was very ill, in a wheelchair, H had left me because I was ill & having tests (imminent death was a real option), and I was going bankrupt/ homeless as H gambled away all the money for my Maternity leave, but I was too ill to work. But my mother still felt entirely justified in her foul attempts to push me out of my child's life.

So in this context, was heard Savagely screaming these lovely words at my dad, (that's DS grandfather and Her husband) "it's alright for You, Ds father has abandoned them so you have a role, SHE is still around, pushing me out'

The SHE was spat with pure hatred in my direction.

When I pointed out that she'd just expressed disappointment that I hadn't either abandoned my baby / her own grandchild, but maybe she'd be happy if I just died instead? She replied completely seriously 'so what if I would, then he'd love ME better than you'

Yup. Dead serious. And she cannot understand why we don't have a good relationship.

"Aren't you lucky to be able to pay off your mortgage at your age?"

This was at the funeral of my father. Lucky? I'd rather have my dad thank you very much.

God it's hard to believe people can be so cruel.

The worst thing anyone has ever said to me was telling me I was lucky not to have any kids after I had a miscarriage. As "it's much harder for people who already have kids as they know what they are missing out on"
My miscarriage was after 4 years of ttc and was an IVF pregnancy.

I have tears in my eyes from these, they are so awful.

Mine are nothing in comparison:

GM to DM "perth has such stout knees doesn't she"

My DM recently "that's haircut really suits you, perth, the fringe covers more of your face."

My mum died on a big family holiday that had been planned for a long time. She had cancer that progressed quickly and insisted that she go - drs weren't against it. We only went for a week and after a few days of being worried sick about how quick she was declining, she was taken in to hospital and a few days later died with her immediate family with her. On the coach on the way back, my cousin's husband was talking about what a good holiday was and how "we'd all enjoyed ourselves"!

Immediately after the birth of DS2, midwife says "oh well, you'll need to try again. Sons never stick around for their mothers in the long run".

DM when I told her I was pregnant for the 3rd time "Oh no"
When I told her name of 3rd child "that's a silly name"
When I told her friend had asked me to be Godmother to her child "what do you want to go and do a silly thing like that for?"
DF "welcome to the real world" when I told him I ws stressed about failing to resucitate a baby at work.
"The most beautiful woman in our family" about my SIL when I was standing right next to him,
There are many more of this ilk but I think they are tactless rather than deliberatley hurtful.

Health visitor came to see us after dc2 was born. Dc1 has autism. HV said are you worried she'll catch it, surely you won't be that unlucky

Somebody saw my baby's scar which runs the length of her chest from open heart surgery at 6 weeks and exclaimed how horrible it was and they couldn't bare to look at it. It was just peeking out of the top of her play suit.

Senior person at work when I was fairly junior 'your breasts have got much bigger have you started the pill'
First day at work after a miscarriage at 18 weeks

My Nan was very ill in hospital but wasn't expected to die. We were being babysat by a neighbour. My Dad returned from hospital and told neighbour that mums mum had died. There was no breaking it to us gently. We were only little at the time. He didn't mean any harm he has always been matter of fact about death.

I took a parcel in for a neighbour I didn't see very often. When she came to collect it she was in a panic. Another neighbour had seen me at her door and told her. She said I thought you had gone into labour and wanted the children looking after. Cheeky bitch I wasn't even pregnant. She squirmed and almost ran home.

Wow! Some of these are just awful! What's wrong with people?

I used to have a spectacularly tactless co-worker. The poor man just generally took social ineptness to the next level. He was also rather obsessed with sports:

To me (while I was struggling to make small talk with him at a company do): It's not that you don't need sports just because you're naturally slim. In fact I'd call that thin. I so wouldn't do you! Oh the relief!

To male co-worker who's had fertility issues and was really down about it, too: If you did more sports your sperm would be stronger and she wouldn't keep on miscarrying! I wanted to strangle him right then and there.

To lovely, gorgeous, slightly overweight colleage: You have a pretty face, if you exercised you wouldn't be ugly at all! Gaaah!

And, no, he was most certainly no Adonis! He just thought of himself that way.

A long long time ago, ONS said 'you have such a small clit'. He was 2 inches long - and pencil thin. Oh how I wish I'd thought of some witty retort but I was so gobsmacked.

Posted mine before reading the whole thread , am astounded at some of the downright cruelty and wickedness shown to people on here

I was going to post about my grandmother calling me the Michelin Man until i RTT.
Some people are just so inconsiderate/rude!!!

My mother has wished cancer on my grandmother.
She called me "emotionally sub-normal" for taking my favourite soft toy on a 3 week holiday at 16. Bearing in mind her brother lived in a care home for people with severe learning difficulties.
On opening my GCSE results of an A, umpteen Bs and a C in maths... "I got a B in maths". Yes in night school years after your CSEs.
On telling her I was pregnant with Dc1, "yes I know". Apparently she's telepathic from 200 miles away.
She's said that she wishes she'd had me aborted.

There's been various other clangers of thoughtless and tactless to the downright vengeful. I try not to dwell on too many of them... just enough to recall why I have a minimal contact relationship with her

When I was trying on wedding dresses my mum said - "you've got surprisingly toned arms...."

My DM had cancer. She was given the all clear in the September, but still felt dodgy so was undergoing further tests (very worrying) before she was hospitalised mid-December and passed away just after the new year. I was signed off work with stress and depression almost from when she was admitted - mainly from my DM's lovely GP who could see the signs and knew I needed to be with her.

I worked for a bank. My area manager chose two days after my return to work to do a "performance review" as I hadn't made my sales targets.

His parting words to me were "at least you won't have any distractions now".

If only I'd had MNet then, I'd have ripped him a new one...