Utterly bored and frustrated by living in a small town

[saltnpepa]

We live in a small town and I am so bored and frustrated by the mundaneness of it. I'm from inner London and here I am in the middle of effing nowhere and all the families are white and middle class and wear Boden. There is no crime and no bad behaviour from anyone at anytime. Nobody swears or cracks jokes, there's no vibrancy or creativity, everyone is the bloody same. The mothers are polite and very decent and the husbands are all doing the right things and I only know of one single mum. I stick out like a sore thumb and am sick of rubbing people up the wrong way unintentionally just because I'm different. My kids love it here as does my rather conservative husband, I feel like running down the street naked covered in talcum powder and jam just to cause a stir. It is a 'nice' life but unstimulating and I worry that my kids will grow up to be just like the locals.

[airedailleurs]

I love Boden but have a pretty dirty mind and know lots of swear words

[cardibach]

Are you chained to the town OP? Otherwise there is no reason for your DCs to never see racial minorities. You could take them to London occasionally. However, my DD grew up rurally and is entirely lacking in prejudice towards race, religion or sexuality.

[HFarnsworth20]

Bloody hell, you wouldn't last 5 mins where we're from, then.

I couldn't be dragged back to live in a city...

[saltnpepa]

Oh yes cardibach I could take Rupert and Fee to London to look at some black people and then come home again and discuss 'culture'. See that's the sort of thing I'm having trouble with.

[cardibach]

The attitudes are very old fashioned and offensive Which attitudes, Lashes? I'm not racist, nine of my friends are racist. I find your attitudes offensive. And small minded.

[christinarossetti]

Op isn't talking about a small village, though.

She's talking about a small town, with one black family that she knows of, where racist and bigoted comments are the norm.

She hasn't actually said that she believes that this is representative of everywhere outside of London, or even all small towns.

I would hate this too, OP. In fact, I left such a place where I grew up as soon as I could and find even going back to visit utterly depressing tbh for all the reasons that you describe.

[Pipbin]

My folks live in a hamlet in the middle of the country over 50 miles from the nearest city. About 100 people live there. 2 families are Indian and 1 family is black. I am amazed that there is not one non white person in your small town.

[motherinferior]

Sounds like where I grew up.

I've lived in London for the past 27 years and occasionally I think of moving ... And then I come to my senses.

[cardibach]

Oh don't talk bollocks saltnpepa. That's not what I meant and you bloody well know it. OK, you hate where you live. Move. Don't bitch about it, spouting half arsed and ignorant prejudice.

[christinarossetti]

Without wishing to provoke, the people that I know that live rurally don't think they're racist or bigoted either, but the things they come out with as a matter of course truly shock me.

[cardibach]

No, christina' she's talking about a small town where she believes racist and bigoted comments are the norm. Actually, judging by her bigoted comments, perhaps she's right...

[TheWordFactory]

I actually think villages are better, more individualistic.

Ours is a bit bonkers. Lots of people who do their own thang. But the town where DH gets the train to the city is a caricature of itself.

[cardibach]

Are you suggesting that I am, in fact, not just racist but ignorant, christina? I could get quite angry about that. How dare you suggest that?

[timelyreminder]

I'm sure the people can't all be as uniform as you suggest OP. There are rebels, creative types and non-conformists in rural areas as well as many rather traditional people who live in cities. The people you'd get on with won't necessarily be obvious at first glance, but they are there. A superior attitude just because you're from London won't go down well anywhere rural though.

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

I would find a small town stifling, but that's why I don't live in one.

You presumably had some input into where you live OP?

[LashesandLipstick]

Cardibach OP mentioned casual racism for one thing. I'm not saying everyone who lives in the country is racist, just you tend to find far more racist bigoted views in rural areas than in a city

[christinarossetti]

cardibach where have I suggested that you're ignorant?

I don't know you and have no opinion about you. But feel free to get angry if you wish.

[saltnpepa]

A mother recenty said to me at pick up "Look at (her daughter), what a scruff bag, she looks like a little gypo." Now you don't tend to get many comments like that where I'm from, but here? All the time. I mean that is ignorant and offensive. A young woman the other day told me about a clip from a film and was describing the actor she said "He is coloured" and to make that even worse she said it in hushed tone. How can a young woman in 2015 say such a thing??? I was absolutely aghast.

[ollieplimsoles]

I live in a small town and I am a creative professional, my DH is a software developer, two jobs you get a lot of in London.

You couldn't pay me to live in London.

[christinarossetti]

OP doesn't come across as feeling superior to me, tbh.

Just hacked off with her situation.

[christinarossetti]

I get it salt, I totally get it.

[cardibach]

'You tend' to find the prejudice. Not in me, because that would be a personal attack, but in the homogenous mass of 'rural areas'. Can't you see the irony? It's ok by you for the OP to dismiss the Boden wearers or any of you to dismiss rural dwellers, but a similar comment about a racial or religious group would be (quite rightly) damned as bigoted prejudice. Double standards.

[TheOriginalWinkly]

I work with the general public in London and believe me OP I hear far more shocking unveiled racism than that every bloody day.

[HFarnsworth20]

I think the idea that staying in a city automatically makes you more cultured and open-minded than a rural dweller is utter rubbish - have you ever been to a football game in Glasgow, for example?

[christinarossetti]

My dh's cousin lives in a village where there's some sort of aparteid between the middle class mums and those from the estate.

Lots of comments like 'oh we had to was the class bear with D had it because I saw who had it last'.

She's a lawyer, honestly believes that she's open-minded and tolerant.

I know that she expects me to covet her Boden, people carrier, home extension life style, and I make all the right noises to be polite, but I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than swap places with her.