Utterly bored and frustrated by living in a small town

[saltnpepa]

We live in a small town and I am so bored and frustrated by the mundaneness of it. I'm from inner London and here I am in the middle of effing nowhere and all the families are white and middle class and wear Boden. There is no crime and no bad behaviour from anyone at anytime. Nobody swears or cracks jokes, there's no vibrancy or creativity, everyone is the bloody same. The mothers are polite and very decent and the husbands are all doing the right things and I only know of one single mum. I stick out like a sore thumb and am sick of rubbing people up the wrong way unintentionally just because I'm different. My kids love it here as does my rather conservative husband, I feel like running down the street naked covered in talcum powder and jam just to cause a stir. It is a 'nice' life but unstimulating and I worry that my kids will grow up to be just like the locals.

Lashes, most people do not know each other at all. I can walk from one side of my town to the other and not see a single person I know and I've lived here over 20 years. Also, although people are nosier, they soon shut up when you turn the tables on them! To play devil's advocate, at least people are interested in each other. In London, most people won't even look at each other, let alone speak to each other. If that's your thing, you're welcome to it!

Avoire, I prefer that! If I'm out shopping, I don't want to be having conversations with people

I don't think classes with children speaking 20 different languages are necessarily a problem. They all learn the language used in school quickly (in the UK this is usually English) and will speak in that as a common tongue.

Language barriers tend to occur when a significant majority speak the same language, and a few don't, whatever those languages are. This can be a real challenge in the playground, or other areas of the school where there aren't staff speaking in the main language that the school uses.

Whatever christina, there are many, many points against living in large cities and only one or two in favour. Keep it quiet though, we'd rather they stayed there...

"am filled with horror every time I have to leave it and go somewhere small, insular, overwhelmingly homogenous and dull."

Yes, do please stay where you are, and leave the rural life for people who actually like the low crime rate, clean air and beautiful countryside.

I'm a town mouse who has taken to country living like a fish to water. I daresay I probably fitted in very well because I didn't have the patronising, sneery attitude that so many Londoners on here seem to have.

My London based family, I'm ashamed to say, are probably the most parochial and xenophobic people I have come across.

And what is so special about Boden? It is expensive and I wouldn't recognise a Boden outfit if it came and slapped me in the face.

avoir, you're being really rude. If London were really like your made-up idea of it you'd fit right in.

I'm still interested to see your clarification of in what ways in big cities you 'can't understand people, they can't understand you' and how that's a problem.

Bun, as you say yourself, that's your family, one family, not everyone. And if it's sneery to dislike places where everyone looks the same, casual racism abounds etc, then call me sneery and I'll wear it with pride.

OnlyLovers, if you want to live in a very multicultural city, then do so, simple as. I don't, simple as. Comprendez?

Avoire these are exactly the kind of ignorant attitudes we like to avoid in the cities

Yes, that must be why the property prices are soaring in the more "mixed" areas...not.

I've just read the whole thread in one go. I am shocked, tbh, at the amount of sneering, belittlement and hatred directed towards London and Londoners by the small-towners.

Nobody here has been that rude towards small-towners. They/we have said it's different in unexpected ways that we find difficult. This is not the same as saying small towns are horrible and their residents unpleasant, which is pretty much what many of you've said about London.

I'm kind of unsurprised I'm not getting very far with my particular small town, if its residents despise Londoners as much as you lot do! Most of them hate going over the county border, except to get to the nearest seaside town.

We do have a cultural mix, by the way, but still 99.5% white. I'm going to learn Polish, it's about the only personal horizon I am able to expand here.

Avoire you're now taking info about deprived areas which have statistically higher proportions of ethnic minorities in for a variety of reasons and using it to push your own racist agenda..

What a lot of nonsense. I am not racist at all, I have friends of all colours and nationalities. I just don't want to live in a place with loads of national communities, languages and simmering racial tensions (often not involving white people at all). My ethnic minority friends feel exactly the same way. Try something else, maybe call me sexist or homophobic? Or ageist...

You've made offensive statements about people speaking other languages and made snide comments about mixed areas...quite racist

In London, most people won't even look at each other, let alone speak to each other.

Untrue.

Town or country, I'm a rampant talker-to-people. Here in The Town That Time Forgot, the people I talk to say as little as possible then move away sharpish.

A week later, I hear that I'm having an affair with the person I spoke to or am trying to muscle in on one of the many inter-family feuds

I don't support racism of any kind. My mother's family were victims of racism and it is something I feel very strongly about. I just don't have an problem living in an area where the predominant population just happens to be white.

Our friends are scattered and come from different backgrounds and different countries and ethnic backgrounds. I work for a company that has employees from all over the world and love the cultural mix. It just isn't in my village that's all.

Besides, unfortunately in our part of the world, most of the really multiculturally diverse neighbourhoods just aren't that nice or safe to live in due to high levels of anti-social behaviour and crime.

Lashes, why not just get the comment removed then, like people normally do here when they can't cope with others' opinions? Oh, what were the "offensive statements" again?

if you want to live in a very multicultural city, then do so, simple as. I don't, simple as. Comprendez?

Really really rude, avoir. And I was actually genuinely asking. I'd like to know what you find problematic about lots of different languages. I'm genuinely interested; but you seem more focused on being unpleasant.

I'm a glutton for punishment, though, so I'll ask again, a propos this comment: I just don't want to live in a place with loads of national communities, languages and simmering racial tensions (often not involving white people at all) –

• what do you find problematic about lots of different languages?
• what do you find problematic about loads of national communities?
• what do you mean by '(often not involving white people at all)'?

And I'll say it again: I am not goading; I would like to read your answers.

OnlyLovers, I just can't be bothered. As I said, if that's your thing then live there. If you can't understand what "racial tensions not involving white people" means, then it's hardly worth explaining the rest to you, is it?

Not read the whole thread but really avoir read your previous posts you are coming across as extremely racist.

I was planning a move out of London but I'm a bit more scared now. Love London, lived here for 17years, had wonderful street party last week, great neighbours, really social local community of mums....but I have kids who I would like to grow up in the countryside (I think London makes kids grow up very quickly/too quickly). I would also like a slower life, semi rural village rather than small town I suppose.

Please say you country folk have a lovely community social scene too - I had sort of taken that for granted!!

Avoire I can cope with your opinion, I just think it's ignorant. You're free to say it just as I'm free to call it bullshit

I just can't be bothered.

Well, that's a pity. And yes, that's a sincere statement, not sarcastic; I would really be interested to hear your thoughts on this, despite your continued rudeness; as I'm sure you do know really, what my last question really meant was - 'what do you mean by "(often not involving white people at all)" in the context of the other things you're saying?' Or, put another way, would you rather these tensions DID involve white people?

Again, I was just trying to understand.

I'm not in any way racist, but if you think so then that's fine. Presumably you think that everyone who prefers not to live among hundreds of communities with their own languages, cultures etc who often don't mix with any others themselves, are racist? That's fine too, but incorrect.

Avoir, I don't think it's racist to not want to live among people who don't integrate. I think it's racist to make sweeping vague claims about other cultures without backing them up

Its reassuring to see that the usual town vs. country bun-fight has now commenced.

sits back with cup of tea to watch the show

Of course I would rather there was no tension between anyone, anywhere, ever, but there always will be. What an absurd question.