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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OCD desperate help please - AIBU?

45 replies

bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 17:18

I went to a shopping centre earlier with my 8 month old DD and got stuck in horrendous traffic on my way into the multi-storey car park. I was stopping and starting on a steep ramp and couldn't find the biting point of the (courtesy) car and ended up making the wheels spin from revving too much and the smell of burnt rubber just filled the car making me feel sick and I literally freaked out because DD was in the back.

After shopping I went to the car park and couldn't find the bloody car and again was in a right state because the multi-storey was absolutely rammed with cars and there I was in the middle of it all searching for our car while DD was breathing in exhaust fumes and god knows what else.

I called my ex who is staying over for the weekend and I was in tears, shaking and so panicked by it all, worrying what damage had been done to DD after first breathing in the burnt rubber and now all the shit from all the cars in the car park. My ex went crazy at me, telling me I'm a psycho and now I'm back home I'm still so anxious and can't stop crying.

Am I being unreasonable? Is this anxiety or reason to worry?

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 13/06/2015 17:21

If this is a one off then I'd say your reaction is entirely understandable, I would very possibly have felt the same (and I consider myself reasonably rational). Oh and your ex is a knob.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 17:32

Oh god I was hoping I was being irrational. I feel sick at the thought of her being damaged by this.

OP posts:
Waitingforsherlock · 13/06/2015 17:35

I'm sure that you won't have done any damage, it's your anxiety that is making you feel so terrible

Silvercatowner · 13/06/2015 17:36

Honestly, she won't be. Have a cup of tea and give her a cuddle. A few breaths of burnt rubber and carpark fumes will not damage her.

Athenaviolet · 13/06/2015 17:37

I don't see how this is ocd but you are very anxious and should see your GP.

Corygal · 13/06/2015 17:37

No one, but no one, could be damaged by a one-off exposure to exhaust fumes. Petrol exhaust is much cleaner than it was 30 years ago, and I'm not even sure long-term effects happen any more.

Don't worry - she's fine. Your DD is unharmed. But it is also fine for you to be upset - losing the car in one of those places is not a fun way to spend an afternoon.

Icimoi · 13/06/2015 17:38

Your dd absolutely will not have been damaged by any of this.

BabyMurloc · 13/06/2015 17:38

You ARE being irrational. Your dc WONT be harmed by squealing tires or 15 mins in a car park. 95% of cars in a carpark are stationary. You wouldn't freak in a garage would you?

It is the anxiety of too many things going wrong. You have done NOTHING to harm anyone. You need to go do whatever techniques you use to stave off panics and see a doc if this is a frequent thing. Xx

BabyMurloc · 13/06/2015 17:41

Its understandable to panic in that situation btw its the thinking you harmed your dc that irrational.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 17:44

Sorry, I forgot to add that my OCD is triggered mainly by chemicals so this was literally hell for me. The rubber smell is the main thing that worries me. Oh and to top me off they were painting the entrance to the shopping centre so it was harmful fume central today. Going to go for a walk in the countryside for some fresh air. I feel terrible.

OP posts:
Crazyqueenofthecatladies · 13/06/2015 17:47

Irrational. Your dd will be fine. Really.

Crazyqueenofthecatladies · 13/06/2015 17:47

Can totally see why he's an ex though. Horrid!!

arethereanyleftatall · 13/06/2015 17:49

This isn't a reason to worry, no. I would say it's quite extreme anxiety. It'll be like this daily for kids in London or Cairo etc

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 17:50

Yes, today reminded me why we're not together which is helpful because I was starting to forget.

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 13/06/2015 17:52

Didn't you freak out about melted plastic on a hob recently?

Are you getting help for this?

DisappointedOne · 13/06/2015 17:53

(Chemicals make up everything, including the "fresh air" in the countryside.)

FarFromAnyRoad · 13/06/2015 17:53

I was also wondering that Disappointed. If it is the same poster then it seems nothing has got better - have you been to your GP yet OP?

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 17:56

Yeah that was me unfortunately. On the waiting list for CBT Sad

OP posts:
PomeralLights · 13/06/2015 18:03

Im guessing you had a panic attack? In which case the 'exposure' to the chemicals will have felt 100x worse because you were breathing so fast. Your dd won't have had anywhere near the exposure you did, so you feeling faint and light-headed from it doesn't mean she was similarly affected. Also a big part of you feeling sick will have been the anxiety.

You won't have harmed her, any crying would just have been due to her being a baby Grin

DisappointedOne · 13/06/2015 18:04

I think you need to find some immediate help.

Fatmomma99 · 13/06/2015 18:07

Poor you.

You freaked out, but you haven't damaged your dd.

Yes, go and have a nice calming walk. Then come home for a Brew and Cake

It was an over-reaction, but understandable given your circs.

I'm absolutely sure no damage will have been suffered by your DD.

Unexpected · 13/06/2015 18:08

You do need to get some help. Breathing is some car fumes won't harm your dd but if you are so panicked that you are in tears and shaking you are not in a fit state to look after her. She will become aware of your irrational fears as she gets older and I'm sure you don't want that either.

ovumahead · 13/06/2015 18:09

If you know the OCD is being triggered, then I'm sure you realise your safety concerns are unfounded and more to do with irrational anxiety thoughts. Glad you're going to get some CBT. In the meantime, practice some acceptance. Very tiny,miniscule chance of anything bad ever arising out of that situation, plus no point worrying about it retrospectively, as you can't do anything about it now! Take a few deep breaths, focus on the present moment.

LotusLight · 13/06/2015 18:11

Utterly unusual I'm afraid. Just about no one is bothered by a child breathing in exhaust fumes once. So try therapy like CBT and relax. if you are not careful your ex might get a residence order for the child so do be careful what you say to him.

Original poster
bluejeanswhiteshirt · 13/06/2015 18:13

It wasn't the exhaust fumes I was worried about though, it was mainly the smell from the tyres burning when we were in the car.

OP posts: