to not know how to handle a kids party situation.

[ohdear27]

DD will be six next week and she really wanted a party. She has not had a 'proper' party before. So hall and entertainer booked. Her school was off for 2 weeks for whit so the invitations were only sent out when she got back with just over a weeks notice. We invited all her year 1 class.

I have now had a number of 'rsvps'. Boys replying yes and all the girls that have replied so far saying 'no'. One mum replied that it was her daughter's (X)birthday on the day of the party so they had things planned. Then I have just had another decline that makes things seems a little clearer - it stated that her daughter couldn't come the party as she had already accepted an invitation for the same day and time. Now it did not say whose party it was but it would seem likely it is X'x.

So what do i do on several levels:

1. About why my lovely and gregarious daughter that is clearly so unpopular that she is the only girl in the class not invited to X's party. My daughter likes X and talks about her as if they are friends. This is not the first time that she has not been invited to things, I once witnessed the teacher giving out invitations as the children left school to a different girls party (again a girl DD likes) and my DD was not being given one. She was not the only one at the time - but it struck me as rather cruel which is why I made a point of inviting the whole class. Why is she unpopular? I feel devastated about this.

1. The next thing is the party itself - she cant have a party with 13 boys and her as the only girl. She is a girly not - not a tome boy. So do I cancel it? - she will be devastated. maybe rearrange it? but as the invitations have already gone out that would involve me having to inform parents that it was now rearranged and could get messy.

Are just do not know how to handle this situation at all. I should point out that I rarely pick up or drop off at school as I work 4 days a week so I cant imagine this could be related to anything I have done or said. I do find the parents at the school gates quite cliquey so I just keep to myself.

I cant believe how upset I feel about this and how unsure what to do. The party is suppose to be this time next week so we need a fast plan!!

I do think that you've been really unfair to those who had already replied in good faith tbh.

I would have thought illness/emergency is the only reason to reschedule.

Well I hope for your daughter's sake that no one gets wind of what's going on as if I had accepted initially, I would certainly decline now!

There's still no guarantee that the girls your daughter wants there declined due to another party & they may well decline again.

You've got yourself into a bit of a pickle but this will sort itself out one way of the other.

I think for the future, you need to be aware of how busy people are at weekends. minimum 4 weeks notice for a kid's party and if it's at a busy time e.g. December or end of summer term I would arrange 6-8 weeks ahead. My daughter has a birthday near Christmas, when I sent out the invites 4w ahead I got less than 50% attendance, because people get busy. end of the summer term is similar with so many school events going on.

I feel your pain OP!

Both my sons have birthdays in the school holidays - organising parties was a nightmare! There was a fair bit of rescheduling and what-not went on at their old school and no-one got too huffy about it ... It was daft to have two parties on the same day with a small village school so everyone understood.

Next time get in much earlier and clear the date before hand with her particular mates - good luck!

I agree with Feckless. We've rescheduled in the past because dd's birthday is at around the same time as 4 others in her class. I'd understand. Just go forward with your new plan.

And yes, text a few parents in advance next year and make sure you've got three coming. Choose a venue e.g. home where it doesn't matter if they're 3 or 15. Then any extra who can come are a bonus.

And there are lots of people like me who don't reply to texts for several hours if they're working or have no idea where their phone is, so don't fret.

Would you diddle

Then I'd be glad you did if you couldn't allow some wiggle room.

I honestly don't get your attitude.

Yes I would decline if the rescheduling was to try to get other children who have already declined there.

It would obviously be of no interest to the child or mother if my child was there, so why bother?

That's nonsense diddl! If my child's best friend could make a party but most other kids couldn't then it makes sense to try and find a better time. It isn't a slight on the parents or children who have already accepted at all!

"It isn't a slight on the parents or children who have already accepted at all!"

Hmm, I suppose not.

I'd just be concerned that the girls who are wanted will decline again.

So sent text to all those I had the number for and most have replied that they can make the new date. Three of the original 'yeses' have said they can make the new date and there is no problem. Waiting on one reply for and original yes- so really hope they can make it. Ive had quite a few other replies from previous declines that can now make it. I have about 10 coming now so feel i did the best thing.

Interesting despite texting to the mum of the girl having the party on the originally day and saying "changed the day of X's party.X will be delighted if "your daughter" can make the new date." No reply. Surely any mum would realize how stressed you would be about needing to change a party date (especially considering that she had invited all but 3 girls in the class to her DD's party). I find it so surprising that she has not replied even if just to say she cant make the new date

Glad it's working out. Are you sure she's the one having the party though? Has that been confirmed?

Really glad that things have worked out! Re not hearing from one girl's mum, that seems to be par for the course! Some you never hear from...or she might be checking the new date and you'll get an RSVP the day before!! Enjoy the party. Or should I say enjoy the wonderful feeling once it's all over!

Not all invites make it home, don't assume she was or wasnr invited (kids at ours put invites in their trays - last parents evening we found 2 invites for months earlier!) And we had an inadvertent 'miss out' at ds party a few weeks ago...on that occasion another mum casually asked me if it was whole class invite, when I said yes she let me know x hadn't received so I sorted out with the mum ..carry on with your plans, get the invites out early next year and on you go...It is useful to know a couple of mums in.primary, don't have to join in like a crazy woman but can help with the grapevine.

This was a text directly to the mum, It was'read'

Glad its working out, but don't dismiss inviting children of different ages, big brothers and sisters, friends older and younger children etc as that can really work at that age, especially if you plan games. The bigger ones tend to help the younger ones and your friends will stay and help and natter while the school mums will drop and go. Hope it goes well

Stressed? I feel stressed just reading this thread.

Let this mum of girl go, it's making you look desperate man. Seriously just concentrate on the kids that are coming and chill your beans.

Thanks. Good point, will do.