Me or DH being U?

[namechangedincase23]

Last night was DHs birthday. We had a nice day went out for a lovely meal. All good.

After the meal we went to get a film from Sky Box office, but there was a problem and I had to call Sky.

Much drink had been taken by this point

I rang Sky and the man in the call centre had a very sexy Scottish accent. I was a bit giggly and a bit flirty in my tone. DH was right next to me and it was on speaker. I didnt say anything inappropriate and just thought it was a bit funny.

Then DH punched me really hard on the leg. I have a bruise and it hurts to walk on.

I went to bed after he punched me.

This morning he is not speaking to me. He has grumpliy apologised when pushed but said I was out of order and he's now glaring and not speaking.

Who is being U? I am really upset that he hit me and that he is tryongt to carry on a row when I am prepared to let it go and have apologised for being a dick when on the phone to Sky

[BreadmakerFan]

You don't really think you were being unreasonable do you?!

He is a twat and I would find it pretty much impossible to stay with my husband if he did that.

YOU DID NOT MAKE HIM DO IT.He decided to do it as it feels he is entitles to hit you.

Nothing excuses what he did, not even flirting with a stranger who was not capable of getting in your pants
.

[Whichseason]

peggy Flirting in front of partner is not ideal but acceptable in some relationships. Physical assault is illegal. There is a bit difference in the two behaviours.

[BreadmakerFan]

So affectionate to get the shag he wants and then back to being a twat. Lovely.

[Only1scoop]

He sounds jealous.

Why did you sleep with him after punching you?

Continue this relationship with caution. Controlling behaviour doesn't take long to manifest.

You have obviously displeased him

[redgoat]

Same as TendonQueen, That's just not true Peggy

OP, this would be a deal breaker for me. I hope you are OK. X

[nilbyname]

He sounds disgusting.

[TendonQueen]

It's a bit late now but I wouldn't have had sex with someone who had punched me the night before. What it shows though is that he can turn it on and off - he is choosing to punish you. Don't take it. Go out and tell him he doesn't get to be angry at you for something he's done wrong.

[namechangedincase23]

I thought it meant everything was going to be ok and he wasn't going to carry it on and make an issue out of it

[CrispyFern]

He sounds like a dick. Why on earth did you have sex with him? He punched you!

Peggy - are you on glue?

[monkeysox]

Awful . Un mn hugs

[ClashCityRocker]

Hold on, you've apologised to him?!

He should be grovelling at your feet and phoning up anger management councillors.

He is minimising what he has done and blaming it on you. Send him back to his parents whilst you think about what you want to do next.

[CrispyFern]

Why aren't YOU making an issue out of it?
He punched you!

[fhdl34]

He should be sincerely apologising at the very least. Would he think you doing that to him was acceptable?

[Penfold007]

Ringing Sky when drunk and flirting on speakerphone in front of your husband isn't ideal. His hitting you is wrong.

Your having sex with him this morning makes me think he has been violent before. You know it's wrong but what do want to do?

[Only1scoop]

'I thought it meant everything was going to be ok'

The controlling has started already then.

Get out now.

Unless of course you enjoy these awful dramas.

[cashewnutty]

Punching someone is never acceptable. He has assaulted you because you were tipsy and spoke to someone on the phone in a slightly flirtatious manner. That is very unreasonable behaviour.

[littlejessie]

The sex wasn't affectionate - he's asserting his ownership of you.

[RhiWrites]

That's assault, you know 'domestic' violence? And the pattern for this is that he will do it again and again and again. In fact I believe it's an average of 35 times he will hit or punch or kick you until you leave.

I am so sorry. But unless he takes this seriously and immediately gets anger management counselling the future is bleak for you.

Nothing you did deserves assault. You could have shagged the sky guy and it still wouldn't be okay for h to punch you.

In the words of the Captain Awkward advice site: you are living in the house of evil bees - get out now!

[BathtimeFunkster]

He assaulted you.

That is way beyond unreasonable, it's criminal.

And here you are having sex with him and cringing and apologising and he's punishing you with anger.

I really hope there are no children around to witness this poisonous, abusive dynamic.

[NickiFury]

What utter crap peggy I have never seen a woman being praised for dishing out physical violence. Even on threads where the other person has behaved horrendously initially the person who uses physical violence has been roundly castigated for doing do.

[Whocansay]

Call the police! He assaulted you! See if he can justify his violence to them.

What you did was daft, but does not give him permission to do this.

[TendonQueen]

OK, but look at it this way - he should have been the one worried that you would make an issue of what he'd done, not the other way around. The fact that he thinks he is in the right and can complain is very worrying. Do you have family or friends you could go to right now? If not I would just leave the house and go somewhere else.

[Imustgodowntotheseaagain]

He hit you for having a conversation that displeased him.

He told you that he believes you will sleep with other men if he does not watch you every moment of your life.

Please leave him, OP. You are not safe.

[OhWotIsItThisTime]

Jesus Christ, what he did was extremely over the top, wrong and illegal.

If I flirted with the Sky man, my husband would have a row with me. He'd never hit me.

Has he done it before?

[LegoLady95]

This will only get worse, so many red flags. Plan your exit.