Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This house is NOT a shit hole!

122 replies

Furyfowler · 12/06/2015 19:01

I'm getting fed up of my dh complaining that the house is a shit hole..... He goes on about he doesn't pay £££ a month to live like this.

WIBU to tell him to either shut up or put up!

The house is NOT a shit hole, we are a family of 4... me, dh, 5yr old and a toddler. The house has stuff in it, it is never spotless. But the dishes are mostly done (there's always something sitting on the sidelike a cup or a plate) the bathroom is clean, the carpets are hoovered, the tabletops are cleaned after every meal/use.

Yes there are toys out of toy boxes, dvds not neatly put back but kind of thrown back, there's usually some item of clothing hangiing about where it shouldn't be along with books and stuff. There's always laundry to be done.

We live with 2 small children, it will never ever be spotless!

It pisses me off when he gets all huffy, as I'm a sahm and do alot of housework during the day, it's an ongoing process, not something you can dedicate 2 hard hours to. But I feel like he's thinking (implying) that I'm not pulling my weight!

WI also BU to go on strike :)

OP posts:
VivienScott · 13/06/2015 19:50

Does he also moan about it being a shit hole whilst sitting on his arse watching TV rather than actually getting up and helping out? If so, I think you're married to my ex!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 13/06/2015 20:02

duplodon I definitely have a particularly chubby child. Cream carpets would just be sheer stupidity here! She plays in the garden most of the day and I can't give her a thorough wash every time she comes in so she tends to bring dirt/sand from the sandpit in on her clothes.

ouryve · 13/06/2015 20:20

My children are Hansel and Gretel. They leave a trail of crumbs (and in DS1's case, little bits of paper and sticky tape) wherever they go, despite rules about where to eat and so on. They have huge collections of Stuff - in DS1's case, bus timetables, paperbuses and coins, in DS2's wooden numbers and letters, plastic dinosaurs and lego tyres.

We vacuum downstairs at least once a day.

Laundry is endless - things cannot be worn 2 days running. Sometimes DS2 gets through several changes of clothes in a day. This week's good weather has been the first time in months I've had the lid on the laundry basket 2 days running.

Add in some repairs and decorating work that have been waiting to be finished for ages and the house is a shit tip. I'd love to only have to spend 30 minutes a day on it.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 13/06/2015 20:23

That was supposed to be grubby child not chubby Smile

BookSnark · 13/06/2015 20:23

Art - maybe you could break down your 2*15 minutes?

Even if you get away with three washes a week Confused - it still takes time.

We eat and do crafts only at the table - and accordingly the floor under the table gets splatted with food and paints and mystery stains - and hence need mopping at the end of the day. Ditto no shoes in the house - but they spend a lot of time outdoors - so there is a haze of dust and leaves and sand around the front and back door. Do your kids spend the day at home - or are they off making a mess elsewhere during the day?

Artandco · 13/06/2015 20:33

Well we do go outside daily so we never spend the whole 24hrs at home, but otherwise it's a combination depending on the day. Today we have been out shopping, lunch out,to the park and for a swim. So I suppose that's about 8hrs out. But home this morning and now. Tomorrow we will probably be home most the day.

I've no idea how time is spilt up, like I said we don't do everything daily. Today

Dh - loaded dishwasher 5 mins, cleaned shower 5mins, cleaned up play dough from table 5 mins?

Me - wiped kitchen sides 5mins, helped kids tidy toys 5mins..

I think that's it tbh chore wise. We made breakfast and dinner but that's not really a chore is it?

BookSnark · 13/06/2015 21:52

Who unpacked the shopping? Are the swimmers still wet in their bag? Are the kids clothes post-park still clean enough for another wear? Who loaded dishwasher? Then bins aren't full? And your floor in genuinely staying clean even after serving two meals to young DC?

I think you're either way underestimating what you do - or you must have epic cleans at the weekend.

momtothree · 13/06/2015 22:23

Dont forget petrol in the car drop offs pick ups, paying bills, getting quotes, clean the loo, top up shopping, bathing kids drying hair, nit combing, dog walking, pet cleaning, banking, school stuff trip money sports day, cards and birthday gifts, ironing, gardening tip trips recycling, prescriptions..,, mmm

DownstairsMixUp · 13/06/2015 22:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ouryve · 13/06/2015 22:43

For all the time it takes me to keep the house from being a health hazard, 5 whole minutes to wipe the kitchen work tops?!Shock

SanityClause · 13/06/2015 22:53

3-4 washes a week? Just the bed linen is that!

kippersmum · 13/06/2015 23:12

Artandco, thank you. I love reading your replies, it gives me an insight to London living where you don't see your kids all day & live in a tiny flat with no garden.

Thankfully I have 4 part time jobs (to fit around childcare), where I can do bathtime & stories every night. I love it. I earn way less than you & am very happy :)

Please don't write off those off us that choose not to live in an overpriced rabbit hutch. We may have decided other things are more important.

kippersmum · 13/06/2015 23:21

My DD's this evening fed the dog & 3 cats, & then we took down a special meal for our 5 hens. Very different lives...

frozen70 · 13/06/2015 23:55

Op I have similar. I am a sahm most of the time but do work occasionally. Today was a day I worked. Upon my return I could see no evidence of dh even washing up. However, when I am home with dc I manage laundry, tidying and cooking, washing up etc plus on a good day housework. Tonight he moaned about dust. Well quite franky you know where the duster is?
I am also kn awe of people who say laundry takes 5 minutes, you can clean a 4 bedroom house in 30 minutes etc. Well not in my world with a messy dh, 2 primary aged dc and a toddler.

Iggi999 · 14/06/2015 00:02

Kippersmum - what goady posts!

Artandco · 14/06/2015 07:58

Kipper - how did you get that in your mind? We work full time either from home with the kids or in our office ( with the kids). We work sure, but see them virtually 24/7. Either dh or I do bath and stories every night . I very much doubt your garden is the size of hyde park.
I hope you enjoy your other super important things in life.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 14/06/2015 08:05

Kipper how do you know so much about Art, where she lives and how much she earns??
Creepy.

sandgrown · 14/06/2015 08:36

My DP's ex was super tidy . The kids were only allowed one toy out at a time and I have been told that visitors felt very uncomfortable as cushions were being plumped and cups moved as soon as they stood up to leave. I am the exact opposite and DP likes to.moan about the house but does very little himself so I suspect she did everything. However, since he has been with me he has travelled a lot and had experiences he would not have thought about. I think you have to strike a happy medium. I used to worry that my house was not posh and pristine but love it when people say they feel at home there.

Notso · 14/06/2015 08:38

Artandco is a very frequent poster to be fair to kipper. She often reveals quite a lot of detail and has a certain posting style. If you are also on here often it's not hard to remember previous posts. As I think about it I can remember several quite minute details she has posted. I do have an excellent memory though.
Obviously it's not exclusive to Artandco, if you post a lot about your life then others will probably build up a picture of it. It's not creepy just a sign of too much time on MN Grin

Furyfowler · 14/06/2015 16:30

Iggi.... I think that's why he said shithole tbh, frustration whilst tidying up. It definately isn't a shit hole and he knows it. But tidying is just a never ending cycle which is sooo frustrating! I think he was frustrated.
It pissed me off, as although he is good when home, tidying, cleaning cooking, any chore really. I don't think he has any right to be pissed off as he only has to do these jobs one week out of four, and with me there helping!

OP posts:
Elephantjuicelove · 14/06/2015 16:36

Your house sounds like the perfect family home. I agree with other posters leave him at home with kids and see how he gets on.

Reminds of this too....

THOUGHTS ON PARENTING…
HUMOR AND WORDS OF WISDOM BY VARIOUS AUTHORS

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked:

“What happened here today?’”

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, ‘”Well, today I didn’t do it.”

Furyfowler · 14/06/2015 17:50

I've seen that before elephant and it definately feels like it in our house!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page