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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ignore school mum from now on!

67 replies

Yepyep333 · 12/06/2015 17:34

My ds has a best friend at school so I am friendly with the mum but don't socialise outside of school with her, she is a lovely lady and we make small talk every morning, today she said to me 'Can I ask you something?' So I said of course, she then said 'why are you getting fatter? You are so pretty but you are fat Shock WHY would someone say this?!! I have never discussed my weight with her, I'm not grossly overweight neither have I put on lots of weight recently for her to notice a difference, I'm just gobsmacked and I still can't believe it, I just looked at her when she said it and then she starting saying I need to drink water and lemon as I must feel really heavy and lazy Shock I'm not sure what I should say to her when I see her next as the doors opened for school and we went our separate ways!

OP posts:
LashesandLipstick · 12/06/2015 17:37

I'd say something back like "Hey, so I was just thinking - why don't you get a nose job? You'd look so much better without that obnoxious beak right in the middle of your face" and when she gets offended, point out that unsolicited comments about people's appearances are rude and if she's not prepared to take it she shouldn't be so quick to comment.

However I am a bit more confrontational than some, so understand if you don't want to do that

WorraLiberty · 12/06/2015 17:37

Blimey, she won't win any medals for subtlety will she? Shock

I would blank the rude cow from now on.

You don't need that sort of shit.

wanttosqueezeyou · 12/06/2015 17:39

Breathtakingly rude. Avoid.

Hoppinggreen · 12/06/2015 17:39

Is she a native English speaker? Could something have been lost in translation?

Clammytoes · 12/06/2015 17:40

Tell her you don't appreciate her comments , and suggest that she engages her brain before she opens her mouth , then walk away

AuntyMag10 · 12/06/2015 17:41

Shock She's so bloody rude! How on earth can someone think it's ever ok to ask this.

BettyCatKitten · 12/06/2015 17:43

I think i would say "why are you so rude"
Or
"I can change my weight but you can't change being horrible "
I'm just...Shock that she'd say that to you!

PureMorning · 12/06/2015 17:44

I would eat every time I saw her, make it really gross and loud. Make eye contact and open my mouth and show her the chewed food

vvega · 12/06/2015 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yarp · 12/06/2015 17:45

Two things occur to me:

Social skills problems

Not a native English speaker

But yes, upsetting for you

vvega · 12/06/2015 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenguinBollards · 12/06/2015 17:45

'Why are you getting fatter'?!?'

'Because every time I shag your husband he buys me a cake.'

Yarp · 12/06/2015 17:46

vvega

I agree

cuntycowfacemonkey · 12/06/2015 17:47

Wow that is incredibly rude Shock

Original poster
Yepyep333 · 12/06/2015 17:49

No English isn't her first language, I have known her for 3 years and she has always been so lovely, she did know what she was saying Shock I have been close to tears all day, just have no idea why she would say it, i thought she was going to invite my ds over for dinner not ask me why I'm getting fatter!

OP posts:
LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 12/06/2015 17:50

Can she have ASD? I can't imagine someone being so rude to person they don't really know. I would expect that type of "banter" within a family, but not to schoolmum.

SolomanDaisy · 12/06/2015 17:50

She's probably about to try to sell you herbalife op forever living op some other pyramid shit.

Heyho111 · 12/06/2015 17:53

You mentioned that she doesn't socialise out of school. Could she have social communication problems. Aspergers can be very subtle in women. People aren't usually rude for the sake of it. Hurtful but take it that mores going on.

LakeOfDreams · 12/06/2015 17:55

My DHs family tell me I'm fat all the time. It's a compliment to them it took a long time for me to explain that it's rude, they still don't get it!

I also have a lot of Asian and Indian friends who would think they were being kind to tell you they thought you were getting fat.

I would assume if English is not this persons first language that they did not mean to offend you and would probably be mortified if they thought they had upset you.

vvega · 12/06/2015 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 12/06/2015 17:58

Blimey what did you reply to that compliment?

BettyCatKitten · 12/06/2015 17:59

Grin Penguin

TheRollingCrone · 12/06/2015 17:59

I,m speechless! You,d have been well within your rights to tell her to FOTTFSOF.

Sheesh! Some people have no manners. Is she not well d,ya think? clutches straws

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 12/06/2015 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovemylittlebear · 12/06/2015 18:15

I've had comments like that before - deadpan lol :) when I have suspected someone has autism I have just said something like..yes I have gotten a bit fatter but it's not nice that you have told me that. If someone wants to know what you think about their weight they will most likely ask you. It might make them feel upset if you tell someone they are fat bluntly. To a gentleman with suspected social skills difficulties I have said - your not supposed to say that as it's a bit rude (whilst smiling at him) - he apologised straight the way. Cultural difference I wouldn't know what to say or how to react...that's happened too and I have kind of just got upset like your post. Hope you are ok and try not to get upset...easier said then done. Xxx

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