to be weirded out by women in the supermarket

[weirdinsupermarket]

... who come up to me and say "My goodness, haven't you got a lot of food! Do you have a big family?"

There are only two of us, and only likely to be so due to infertility. I have to hold it together for a bit, and then I come home and cry.

My trolley is full because I grow lots of my own food and I only shop once a month, so I have lots of cans, UHT milk and juice, and packets of dried things like pasta.

This happens to me every single week. I'm afraid to say that it is invariably said by a woman over the age of 60. I know it isn't meant badly, but I can't explain why my trolley is full without going into details that frankly make me want to howl with the pain of it all.

I realise I am very, very lucky to be able to fill a shopping trolley once a month. I know I am being unreasonable and over-emotional and silly, that other people can't be expected to know my personal circumstances. I'm starting to dread shopping, though.

Love the "it's never happened to me so it can't be true" comments.

Anyway, reading your OP, it struck me that these are the trolley loads that do stick out a bit more - not a full trolley of all sorts of things, but a few things, each in large quantities.

So I can quite see you would get the comments. They're well-meaning, if a little lacking in thought, rather than actually rude, though.

Earbuds or resting bitch face probably your best bet - or online if it really does your head in.

Betcha now you've put it on here it'll never happen again. You never know!

Same here virginia all thes scenarios where a total stranger has commented on children/lack of children/behaviour/shopping etc etc has never happened to me or anyone I know.
Possibly my extreme bitchy resting face!!??

I was in the queue at the checkout once and someone asked me if I was having a party - so I said no, I have teenagers

Every year I get asked what I'm doing for mother's day and on more than one occasion someone's muttered under breath about the ungrateful youth of today when I've said 'nothing'. Thing is I'm 24 and my mum died when I was 19... It used to upset me, now I'm quite happy to say why and make the other person realize they're being rude and nosey.

Also YANBU to be upset, to the idiots going on about it clearly the comments aren't the main thing you're upset about but the reminder of the issue.

Im another one saying it wouldnt but me at all. Are you feeling guilty about something or are you sensitive due to your fertility issue? You don't have to go into detail, just grin and say we're very hungry people.

bug not but of course.

crustsaway holy crap, have you had an empathy bypass or something? The OP quite clearly states it upsets her because there's only likely to be her and her DH.

OP Have you tried listening to music on headphones while you shop, people don't try to talk to you as much then so may leave you in peace.

What on earth are you telling me about an empathy bypass for jingly. I said it wouldn't bother me but was she feeling sensitive. No need to get personal there or shout, thank you. We all have our triggers that upset us due to our "own" circumstances. It doesn't mean that the people asking these questions are uncouth nor insensitive. They don't know.

I think it's rather clear from the OP though, isn't it? Seems a bit obtuse not to be able to infer why it might be upsetting.. What's the point in asking for an explanation, surely it's self-explanatory.

Anyway. I think perhaps online shopping is the solution until you're feeling less fragile, OP. Again, you're not being unreasonable. But neither are the others, of course, as they're just making friendly conversation.

She stated it in the OP and frankly, after asking if she felt guilty about something, I think it was deserved.

Oh here we go, I didnt use the guilty word so just get over yourself Jingly. Stop pulling up people for asking questions. Get back to speaking to the OP and not trying to justify your wrong post that was aimed at me.

This? No, it's just my lunch. I will be back for more for tea time.

She was probably very lonely and looking to chat with anybody!

Obtuse to ask a question? why would that be so?

Some people on here are very "jugular". The OP was turning things around to say that others are very out of order to ask normal every day questions. I said that there was a sensitivity thing there due to HER circumstances. I do empathise with the OP, of course I do. Let's not take it out on me though ay.

Go to a different supermarket - you clearly go to a WEIRD supermarket because I have never seenanything remotely like this happen.

Or practise your resting bitchy face.

Or shop online.

You can't control how people behave but you can control your exposure to it.

We get it all the time OP.

We usually shop monthly and there is a lot of us.

I'm really sorry it keeps getting said to you and that it makes you so sad.

My closest friend hasn't been able to have children and she's always longed to and I know if that was said to her it would more than likely reduce her to tears.

YANBU or over emotional or silly

Totally understandable that you'd be upset by it. It's a stupid, mindless question not asked with any malice but that doesn't mean it won't stir up all kinds of thoughts and hurt for you. Really not hard to understand.

Infertilty is beyond painful. If it helps, it will get easier to deal with these kinds of things. You kind of grow armour over time.

I think you should start doing your bulk shopping online. It'd be easier anyway if you're getting the same things each month. You could pop in for extra treats and bits in between. Very impressed with you growing your own food. Wish I could.

It's NOT an "everyday question" when it's about family or other personal things.

OP yanbu. It's rude.

How on earth are the normal supermarket people in the wrong here? the friendly ask a question people here. Really? They are not being personal, people with sad issues take it that way.

The person in the supermarket didnt know the OP had a fertility issue? how mad are you to bang on about someone that knows nothing to be thoughtless? very ridiculous indeed.

Christ. I'll bet OP feels miles better after posting on here

for you, OP.

I would change supermarkets, sounds like yours attracts some mad old bats.

I have three kids and no one has ever commented on my very full shopping trolley.

I have had one of these weird comments about what I am buying in a supermarket.
I was looking at the offers on some toilet paper trying to work out which was the best buy. I was by myself as gone in on the way home from work.
Some lady with kids said something about it being so expensive and then said it must be so much cheaper when it is only you, you have to buy for. Implying i was single and childless. I was to befuddled to even reply - thinking I must look like some odd loner that could never be married with children