to be weirded out by women in the supermarket

[weirdinsupermarket]

... who come up to me and say "My goodness, haven't you got a lot of food! Do you have a big family?"

There are only two of us, and only likely to be so due to infertility. I have to hold it together for a bit, and then I come home and cry.

My trolley is full because I grow lots of my own food and I only shop once a month, so I have lots of cans, UHT milk and juice, and packets of dried things like pasta.

This happens to me every single week. I'm afraid to say that it is invariably said by a woman over the age of 60. I know it isn't meant badly, but I can't explain why my trolley is full without going into details that frankly make me want to howl with the pain of it all.

I realise I am very, very lucky to be able to fill a shopping trolley once a month. I know I am being unreasonable and over-emotional and silly, that other people can't be expected to know my personal circumstances. I'm starting to dread shopping, though.

Hi five What!

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU to come home and cry and post a shakey thread about a comment as benign that, from an elderly lady tbh.

If it happens regularly when you shop it must be very hurtful, even if it is kindly meant

and for the pedants brigade above, do you think criticsing the OP for a bit of hyperbole is helpful ? It isn't

Are there people you can talk to about your feelings in rl?

She didn't say it was an elderly lady. She said it was a woman of approximately over 60.

Am I the only person who sees thread titles like this one and opens the thread fearful OP is talking about them? I live in hope fear that one day my public order transgressions will be posted about on MN.

But I like this suggestion:

Perhaps smile maniacally and shriek "well we all need to prepare for the coming nuclear winter don't we?"

"But when Our Lord returns I must be prepared for the tribulations, plagues and wars. Which way to the ammo?"

I swear there are some people that have some sort of antennae they use to find people with a painful issue in their lives so they can go up and make inappropriate comments. I used to get comments about how much and what I was eating. I was trying to recover from an eating disorder and people thinking they could make facetious comments did not help.

Over 60 could be any age though and could include elderly people. DH's Gran is 85, but doesn't look a day over 60. Whatever, I still think OP is unreasonable, I also don't get why OP would think they would need to discuss her potential infertility with a randomer either in response this kind of comment either.

"Winter is coming"

Just laugh and say "This is a month's shopping". No need for anything else.

sorry you're feeling pants about this

how about replying "My goodness! Haven't you got terrible manners?" and walking on?

Why the hell are people laying into the OP? She's feeling fragile, she made a typo and she's since pointed out that it's a typo. People need to RTFT and be a bit more sensitive! Can we please remember that there is a real person behind the screen.

OP I'm really sorry you are upset. I think I would be too, I often get talked to by people in the supermarket, this is a very rural area though and I'm sure that makes a difference. When I lived in a city I didn't get anywhere this number of comments on what was in my trolley/the weather/any other thing they can think of.

Move to a city. Move to my city. No one speaks to anyone there!

I've had quite a few comments about the quantity of food in my trolley (usually full to the top). Depending on who's saying it, I either just ignore it, or (if they're in the queue behind me) I say that I'm quick at packing. Once someone with a trolley full themselves asked me if I was 'going to eat all that' so I just said yes.
I once had a nightmare checkout assistant who started squealing because I was buying fish. ["OMG. THat's fish in there. I can't believe it. Fish. I hate fish. I didn't know we even sold fish."] This was in Tesco - I scanned it myself in the end. It was pre-packed, it wasn't as if I'd caught it in the lake and wanted her to kill it and gut it FFS.
OP, it is annoying, but I don't imagine anyone is out to deliberately upset you. You do sound a bit fragile though . Have you talked it through with anyone?

YY MrsDV I thought I'd missed some crucial drip feed that OP kicks kittens or summat.

I can only assume the heat is making people cranky, but even that is no excuse.

Who's laying into the OP?

The hyperbole police are out in force aren't they?!? Who shat in your cornflakes this morning?

OP, yanbu. It's a rude comment to make to anyone, it must be very difficult to hear that time and time again with your history.

I second/third/fourth the suggestion of saying either "fuck off" or "You won't be laughing when the apocalypse comes and you're dead and I'm safe in my bunker eating my cheerios".

People on AIBU will find any excuse to put the boot in sometimes
If you're upset by it, that's how you feel, don't let people tell you your feelings are wrong. Maybe give yourself a break from it and shop online occasionally, if it's dried and tinned stuff you don't need to worry about getting short dated things.

I'm starting to dread shopping, though.

Do it online then.

I would do it online and save the stress.

We used to do a big shop once a month including freezing bread. A friend was staying with us and I asked him to get 10 (or something like that) loaves..he wouldn't, so he went and got two at a time

YANBU, the people asking you aren't really being unreasonable either just a little curious perhaps.

But YANBU at all to feel this way, I tend to just keep my head down and avoid speaking to other humans in the supermarket- I like MrsDevere's idea of the iPod and ignore. If you don't have one I'll send you my spare ear piece set and you could just tuck the end in your pocket and pretend

I have never heard this. Or had anyone tell me they have heard this. Or anything like this.
I suggest you change supermarket.

That's helpful and reassuring ^