To start a thread for grumpy old ladies who think things aren't what they used to be

[susanstryingterm]

I'm probably a bit older than the average age on here, and totally emphasised with someone who said, in slightly despairing tones on a thread yesterday 'I sometimes think nobody knows how to behave anymore'.

So:

I think children should stand up for older (60+) people on public transport.
I think weddings should be a 'cut your cloth to suit your measure' exercise.
I think children should be called in by 9pm at latest during the Summer, so that neighbours can get some consideration.

Grr *disablist

Oh yes Winterlight. When I was a kid, I used to have a new pair of canvas shoes every summer. They were called "sandshoes" and were dead cheap.

Am not permanently offended. Unless people permanently say offensive shit

Grumpy old ladies always moaned about tarty young women , that ain't changed .

I miss going on holiday and not being expected to be contactable. I let family know where I am staying in case of an emergency but other than that, do not expect me to check my mobile/facebook etc for the 2 weeks I am away.

I used to enjoy a good pub quiz. Easy access to Google on phones has put paid to that.

Swearing becoming normalised vocabulary, with no respect for who is standing close by.

Those fucking painted eyebrows the majority of young girls seem to have.

In my day, a selfie was a passport photo taken in a booth, preferably with friends doing a funny face. Now they're so ubiquitous. Another thing: what's all this about photos of yourself being all over the public domain? I hate that. What happened to privacy?

And mawkish sentimentality: what happened to dignified grief?

And back in the day, it was perfectly possible to pass the 11+ without tutoring. In fact, everyone had a crack at it, regardless of background. Now it seems possible only through hothousing.

And although I agree that the 70's weren't all that great, overall I think it was an optimistic decade for many. The sex and race discrimination acts came in and I felt, that as a child with a modest background, and a girl to boot, that I had a crack at social mobility. I no longer feel optimistic about the future and whilst it's true that the trade unions were perhaps a bit too powerful sometimes, at least there was decent-paying work which could support a family.

And as an older woman I feel far more pressure to look good, carry on working, remain in good health than my forebears did.

Disclaimer-I prefer today's world.

When mine were babies (17-30), there were HVs that knew what they were talking about and held "Well Baby drop in clinics", you could have your babies symptoms checked out, or weight done.

GP appointments weren't needed and it was good for putting a New Mums mind at ease, or picking up and treating, Constipation, Colic, Ear/Eye infections etc quickly.

I wish Children's Centres existed "in my day", though and the best thing to have happened was ECM.

YY to litter dropping and living beyond your means.

The pouting looks very ridiculous on my niece's school group photos! That and the painted on eyebrows and massive combover hairdos do combine to give me a real belly laugh. -When the teens are not about I hasten to add.

(I'd refuse to pay if it was my own child's class photo though. Because at heart I am miserly and grumpy.)

Larry that is sad and it has happened to me as I was brought up to chat in public spaces and especially with little children.

Also, at my age I probably shouldn't be looking at younger men, but, the beards, just stop it!

All this angry aggressive driving nowadays is very sad. Tailgating anyone who isn't doing at least 60 mph, deliberately speeding up to prevent someone from changing into your lane, angrily banging on the horn if someone takes more than a tenth of a second to get going at the traffic lights, using the outside lane on the motorway to break the speed limit and flashing your lights furiously at anyone who uses it for overtaking.
Can people not just calm down and stop acting as if they're Barack Obama and far too important to be held up for a nano second on their crucial journeys.

Too much road rage, with the self obsessed me me me culture, " I have to get there first....." until I pull up at the lights beside you, having not broken the speed limit. Have you noticed people drive at you in some terrible Mad Max style game of chicken. Maybe we should blame Super Mario?

Also the bloody compensation claim culture, people trip up and instantly think £££££, just look where you are going!

Wasn't there a film with Michael Douglas where he completely loses it over being refused a Mc Donalds all day breakfast after 12o clock?

I think the random self advertising machine of facebook is vile and brings out the worst in people.

I enjoy it, and if the people I know are having the worst brought out in them then they clearly do not have much of a "worst".

Engagements that seem to be ends in themselves, with blank looks when you ask when the 'big day' is. I really don't understand that.

Parents fighting all their kids' battles. How are they ever going to learn to stand up for themselves, or to understand what is and isn't acceptable behaviour.

And yes, kids should stand up for older people on public transport. I cannot stand parents who bang on about their children's rights as if that supercedes manners, consideration and common sense. I dread to think how their children will turn out.

Fanjo

Speaking as someone who grew up in the UK and now lives elsewhere, my view is that British people generally are extremely mealy mouthed, without being noticeably less racist, sexist, ageist or any other particluar ist compared to where I live now.

It's not right to go around offending people. But also, it's not right to be unable to laugh at yourself. Everybody should be able to do that, including those who identify with any particular minority, and in my experience, they do so more in other countries.

My view, which I don't expect you to like, is that British society now encourages people to identify with all manner of particular groups who percieve themselves as victims, as there is now such an public emphasis on handing out sympathy to those groups. Doubtlessly you will say this is right, and I agree up to a point. However, when it dominates public discourse so much that real issues such as dealing with the rich-poor divide for example get squashed out, it goes too far. When it gets allied with the massive emphasis on politeness in the UK (not a bad thing in itself) it gets pretty stultifying.

I sometimes find myself shocked at 70s attitudes, but likewise, when I read Internet discussions amongst people from the UK, I find myself shocked at just how quick some people are to take offence, as if it is a virtue to be offended, although I suspect people are a bit more relaxed in RL.

I have just rlft and I identified with so many posters.
I have lots of stepGC who I love, but never see. They live in a kind of rich, priviledged bubble of ponies, squad bikes and designer clothes.
I am glad that they have nice things, but how can we give the same ? we can't, but nowadays there seems to be a kind of competition between GPs to give the most.
I don't remember that kind of thing when I was young (50 yrs ago).

People can choose to laugh at themselves.

They don't HAVE to. Smacks of knowing their place.

Oh, FFS, And yes, kids should stand up for older people on public transport.

Able people should stand up for older people on public transport! Why target kids????

It's fine to laugh at ourselves, not so fine to see other people laughing at us. It's ok for me to make a joke about being skinny, not so much if you joke about me being skinny. Surely that's not difficult to understand.
Laughing about other people has far reaching consequences than just the joke. It goes to certain groups not having the same rights as the majority, it goes to being socially, work and financially disadvantaged.
It's not ok to joke that women cry when criticised, because it is not so subtly saying that women aren't capable of working in labs, not at the same level as men. For example. Which is bollocks, but maintains a culture that it's best to have men.
And the same goes for fat people, non-white people, tall people, short people, SN people, older people, younger people...

Concentrate on making jokes about yourself and respect other people.

emmelinelucas how awful for you. My siblings and I are lucky enough to have high incomes...and we would be horrified at the thought of our parents giving the kids anything more than a small token. It's the same with dh's parents, just a small token is all that's needed. You can't buy love and affection.

Birds oh yes the beards! My husband has sprouted one! You should see my sister's wedding photos, hipster beards on every single one of em' and bowties!

Growing up in the 70s we had to ask permission to put on the TV or To use the phone. Usually got told a) go outside and play and b) No, you will see X at school tomorrow!
Children were given more freedom (travelling to school using two buses from the age of 7) and at the same time were expected to do household chores and save up part of pocket money to but family presents for Christmas and Birthdays.
Reusable shopping bags (wicker or string) were the norm, as plastic bags had to be paid for.
The anticipation of having seasonal treats like strawberries for a few weeks a year and the annual trip,to a "pick your own" place to get pounds of fruit for jam making which was another great thing that seems to have disappeared. Loved getting the "scum" (aka froth) from the jam pan as a treat.
Knitted clothes were the norm. Old jumpers were unpicked and unravelled so you sat there with a hank of wool round your hands as mum rewound it into a ball.

Reusable shopping bags (wicker or string) were the norm, as plastic bags had to be paid for.
Not much change there, then?

My 10 year old DS still asks permission to turn the tv on or play his games on it, unless he wakes up before me, for which he has specific permission to go ahead. :)

He gets pocket money for doing a household chore and bought me dinner last mother's day.

What's wrong with beards?

This might give you all some hope - I was out on a primary school trip to the woods last week and they climbed trees! They had to tell an adult they were doing it but I spent a happy half hour boosting them up into trees and lifting them down while the teacher took photos. It was great!

I'm really old and I hate: people finding themselves - as in 'she found herself a single parent' or 'he found himself in South America' or 'he found himself unemployed'.

And I get very irritated by people who say something stupid and follow it with 'Please respect my space'.