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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my DCs (Yr 7&9) to walk 40 mins to school and home again.

399 replies

Lauresbadhairday · 10/06/2015 15:35

My DCs are at an independent school and therefore most of the children live some distance away and are dropped off and picked up from school by parents every day. We live a 40 min walk away and I think my DCs should be able to manage this to and from school. They are 12 & 14.

They moan daily about walking - "it's too far", "my bag's too heavy, "it's raining", "none of my friends walk" etc, etc.

Now by my own admission I have been too soft and have dropped them off/picked them up quite frequently however I really want this to stop and for them to walk. I am getting much tougher and have not given them a lift at all since half-term but the moaning continues.

So, AIBU in making them walk 40 mins to school and back? If the general consensus is that I am then I will suck it up and give them a lift but I really think at 12&14 they are perfectly capable of walking this distance daily.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/06/2015 20:48

Butterfly - if two healthy teens can't walk a mile and a half twice a day then they have problems and perhaps they should be walking it! Good grief, that's no distance at all!

karbonfootprint · 10/06/2015 20:49

Too far to walk twice a day. It quite a sad state of affairs when there are adults who genuinely seem to believe this, it absolutly makes no sense. What do you think we've got feet for?

whois · 10/06/2015 20:52

No lockers? Really?? (I didn't really expect desks, tbhsmile). So they have to carry absolutely everything around with them all the time? That is utterly insane.

Agreed it's stupid. Friday's were a particular bad day for me (hockey needing astro boots and stick and kit, badminton needing racket and trainers, food tech and I had a music lesson!)

ilovesooty · 10/06/2015 20:53

I did that journey every day from age 7 onwards. At high school I was carrying hard back text books, exercise books, PE kit and cookery stuff.
I'm astonished parents really think it's too far.

Redglitter · 10/06/2015 20:54

My high school was a good 35/45 mins walk which we did both ways every day regardless of the weather complete with books etc. So no YANBU

Sunnyshores · 10/06/2015 21:09

I dont think what we did as kids has a bearing on what is reasonable for kids today. My children have a much busier and longer school day than I did, carry way more kit, roads are busier (safety), peer pressure is immense....

And yes I think its too far twice a day, day in day out.

coffeeisnectar · 10/06/2015 21:10

1.5 miles? 40 minutes? They need to start walking a bit quicker!!

My teens school is 5.5 miles away and she cycles in the summer and gets the bus in the winter. She lost her bus ticket once so walked home and it took her just over an hour.

Youngest is going to a new school in September and we will be walking. It's about a 15 minute walk (uphill) but at least it will be easier coming home.

5madthings · 10/06/2015 21:15

Like fuck is 1.5 miles two a day two far, my primary school kids do 2miles each way and on some days it was three times a day due to clubs etc.

You can't get free school transport unless it's two miles plus and that's for under eights, for older kids it needs to be three miles to qualify for school transport.

And you just dress appropriately for the weather ie waterproof trousers, boots and coats etc. My kids do it every day in all weather's.

Ffs what a generation of lightweights we are raising of healthy teens can't walk a mile and a half!

Original poster
Lauresbadhairday · 10/06/2015 21:16

They leave at 8.00 for 8.45 registration and say they get there with 5 mins to spare. School finishes at 3.25 and they usually roll in just after 4. I think I might walk to meet them tomorrow to see how painfully slow they are walking. In reality it's probably nearer 30-35 mins.

I think I will stick with my plan to get them to walk unless they have extra bags or the weather is bad.

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 10/06/2015 21:17

Thirteen bags of what for three children? ok, thats a one off, I am sure.

But human bodies are meant to be used. A back pack and carrying stuff in their hands is possible most days. Humans around the world have done it for centuries. That many people in the UK still do is why you arent as fat as us. You are where we were 30 or 40 years ago, with a generation of parents that mostly walked everywhere as kids but a generation of children who are excused from the effort of even getting themselves to school.

People think their children are active enough, the trouble is, you are creating a mind set that walking is an unacceptable option that should be avoided. That exercise is activity for its own sake. You are taking on a very American mindset. They may be alright now, but will be fatter than you when they reach your age, and your grandchildren will be fatter still when the too fat to walk attitude covers even shorter distances.

This is why America is so fat. Nobody walks.

Gatehouse77 · 10/06/2015 21:17

Mine live less than 10 minutes away and still moan!
Plenty of kids walk about 40 minutes away.

If I wasn't working I think I'd soften if the weather was crap or they had a heavy load but, generally, I'd leave them to it.

Momagain1 · 10/06/2015 21:17

Too far to walk attitude covers shorter distances.

5madthings · 10/06/2015 21:18

coffee my elder.kids high school.is six and a bit miles. They walk to bus but ds1 has walked it after losing bus ticket and it's cycleable in summer. 1.5 miles is a short walk.

diddl · 10/06/2015 21:18

We live 2 kms from the primary school.

6yr olds allow half an hr to get there!

littlejohnnydory · 10/06/2015 21:20

I did when I was at secondary school. Half an hour on the bus then a 40-45 min walk, then same walk back to town to catch the bus home. Loads of us did the same journey. It was rubbish carrying cookery stuff, pe kit, violin, etc. And I can remember that when it rained hard (quite often in Wales!), I didn't dry out properly all day. I'm not sure I'd make my children do it in all weatgers. Is tgere no bus they can catch part way at least? What's the reason you don't want to take them? Unless there's a reason why you can't, it's a bit mean tbh.

diddl · 10/06/2015 21:21

"What's the reason that you don't want to take them?"

I'm guessing because it's only one and a half miles away!!Grin

choli · 10/06/2015 21:24

I walk a mile and a half each way to work every day, usually carrying a laptop in my backback, and frequently with groceries in the backpack along with the laptop on the way home.

I don't arrive at work tired from the walk, I arrive energized and pumped. Same for the walk home.

OP YANBU, you are giving your kids a gift that will keep paying off all their lives.

fakenamefornow · 10/06/2015 21:27

Absolutely they should walk, not only do I think it's fine I also think it would be good for them. I think the only issue might be having too much to carry.

Have people explained already why they think it's too far for their kids?

DelightfulFunky · 10/06/2015 21:28

I'm not too surprised about 13 bags between 3 kids. My 2 (in primary) take 9 bags and a clarinet each Monday (2x swimming bags, 2 x PE kit, 2 x games bags, 2 x back packs and 1 x music bag). It's a real operation getting them out of the car!

Not saying you're being U but I would drop them and pick them up.

Mrsfrumble · 10/06/2015 21:30

I thought lots of posters were saying that private schools had longer days than state schools; the times the OP just mentioned are exactly the same as the state comprehensive I went to in the early 1990s. Have state school days got shorter since then?

LibbityBibbity · 10/06/2015 21:31

My 7-year-old walks three miles home each day (takes us about 50 minutes); we have good waterproof coats and wellies and we love the time to decompress slowly after a stressful day at school (it's a hard slog at the moment, mainly due to friendship issues). I also had a long walk to and from primary school from an early age, ditto high school, but by the time I got to high school, my mum gave me daily bus fare. I quickly discovered how horrific the high school bus experience was (spitting, fights, mooning, bullying, packed lunch boxes stolen & raided etc etc), and equally quickly calculated the percentage boost to my pocket money if I walked and saved my bus fare!

purplemurple1 · 10/06/2015 21:32

Couldn't they cycle it instead. Although I walked more than that to school everyday but my parents didn't drive so I had no other options.

Hulababy · 10/06/2015 21:33

DD's school bag is really heavy most days. This does make a difference when they have far to walk. DD only has just under a mile to walk most days so not to bad. Reckon she'd find her bag heavy for a good 40 minute walk though.

Primafacie · 10/06/2015 21:40

My son walks 1.5 miles twice a day to drop DD to her school then go to his nursery. He is four. Has been doing so since he was 2.6, first on a scooter then on foot since about 3.

ScorpioMermaid · 10/06/2015 21:43

yanbu. my girls had to in sept (y7&y8) as the school they were at closed down. obviously they weren't the only ones and a lot of parents kicked off about it being far so the school caved and put on a free bus from our area as we're out of catchment. If they hadn't have out the bus on mine would still be walking it.