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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my DCs (Yr 7&9) to walk 40 mins to school and home again.

399 replies

Lauresbadhairday · 10/06/2015 15:35

My DCs are at an independent school and therefore most of the children live some distance away and are dropped off and picked up from school by parents every day. We live a 40 min walk away and I think my DCs should be able to manage this to and from school. They are 12 & 14.

They moan daily about walking - "it's too far", "my bag's too heavy, "it's raining", "none of my friends walk" etc, etc.

Now by my own admission I have been too soft and have dropped them off/picked them up quite frequently however I really want this to stop and for them to walk. I am getting much tougher and have not given them a lift at all since half-term but the moaning continues.

So, AIBU in making them walk 40 mins to school and back? If the general consensus is that I am then I will suck it up and give them a lift but I really think at 12&14 they are perfectly capable of walking this distance daily.

OP posts:
takemetomars · 10/06/2015 19:25

soft buggers the lot of you. Nope, not too far BUT they need really decent well fitted rucksacks to ensure that the load in their bags is really well distributed across their shoulders. This will set you back hundreds of pounds but necessary for joint/back health. Oh, decent wet weather gear too!
We are far too soft on todays youth

Artandco · 10/06/2015 19:26

Catherine - you could walk with them to help.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 10/06/2015 19:27

1.5 miles is not a 40 minute walk!!! 25-30 mins maximum. A 15 minute mile is brisk walking.

DrElizabethPlimpton · 10/06/2015 19:29

I walked 1.5 miles to a train station, caught 2 trains and then another mile or so to get to school from the age of 11. It wasn't a problem for me.

Athenaviolet · 10/06/2015 19:34

I was going to say run them in winter and let them walk in summer but now you've said it's only 1.5 miles let the lazy so and so's walk!!

Here the primary school policy is to have 4yos walk 2 miles to school in the cold dark mornings, takes a hell of a lot longer than 40mins!

A pair of teens can easily do that.

Klayden · 10/06/2015 19:35

A 20 minute mile is considered a 'slow walk'. Therefore, 30 mins would be them walking slowly for 1.5 miles. YANBU at all!

IHaveBrilloHair · 10/06/2015 19:35

Bloody hell, there's being decent, and having empathy, and perhaps driving them/giving them train fare when the weather is particularly shit, and being a mug.
I had a car for three years, don't currently, and I never ferried dd anywhere, I expected her to get herself about.
She's off to see her bf on Saturday, that'll be a three hour, two train ride then, she's more than capable.

Mrsfrumble · 10/06/2015 19:36

We have different opinions on "doing the best for our children" Catherine. Mine is teaching them independence, resilience and the benefits of passive exercise.

Different strokes, and all that....

auntpetunia · 10/06/2015 19:43

1.5 miles is nothing they should be able to do that easily my 12 yr old dd walks 1.2 miles every day to high school and used to walk 1 mile to primary. They are being lazy and trying to guilt trip you. So no one else does it, they'll all be unhealthy then, for that to take 40 mins is them dawdling can you walk it one day and see how long it takes at a sensible walking pace and show them how long it is, do they walk the most direct way for pedestrians or are they walking the way of the car?

LarrytheCucumber · 10/06/2015 19:45

Way back when I was at school you couldn't get a bus pass unless you lived three miles from school. My friend and I walked every day from age 11 (except for a brief period when I cycled) and it was around 2 miles for me, 2 and a half for her. We didn't think anything of it, because lots of people walked in those days.
If they do it every day they will get used to it and build up their stamina.

bigbuttons · 10/06/2015 19:48

catherine if you are driven round everywhere as if you were somehow disabled even though you have strong, young legs , then you are pampered.

Mrsfrumble · 10/06/2015 19:50

I'm curious as to how they manage to make a 1.5 mile walk take 40 minutes! I assumed from your OP that it would be closer to 3 miles.

auntpetunia's idea of walking with them one time is a good one.

ragged · 10/06/2015 19:53

Teenagers have no trouble making 1.5 miles into 40 minutes.
I would have happily walked that when I was a teen, but I'm very weird.

It's just about okay, but I wouldn't insist mine to do it in foul weather.
We walk & cycle all local journeys, but still have to run the teens to bus stop in bad weather or they'd be late.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 10/06/2015 19:57

I would say YANBU but then my DD has been walking a half hour walk to school (and back) since she was 5 and started school. We do get the bus though when its pissing down with rain because I don't want her to sit in wet clothes all day at school.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 10/06/2015 19:57

but still have to run the teens to bus stop in bad weather or they'd be late.

Do you have to run behind them with whips? Or is it just encouragement they need military boot camp style? Sounds fun - maybe you could offer it as a service to other parents?

Sleepysleepysleepy · 10/06/2015 20:01

I don't think it's too far. I walked 40mins to school and back for six years. Used to meet up with friends on the way and get sweets from the newsagents on the way home - loved it!

RiverTam · 10/06/2015 20:14

It's been a long time since I was at school and don't have DC at secondary, but what the hell are they carting about with them? Don't they have desks or lockers? Surely they're carrying only what they need for that night's homework? And doesn't PE kit just stay at school for the week?

whois · 10/06/2015 20:17

Oh it's only 1.5 miles??? Tell them to hurry the fuck up as walking slowly K's dragging it out and making them tired. I was thinking 3 miles each way for a 40 min walk.

whois · 10/06/2015 20:18

River most secondary schools do not have lockers, or anywhere to store PE kit. And they certainly won't have desks.

Prometheus · 10/06/2015 20:19

I did this for 5 years of high school in the 1990s then went to a sixth form college for 2 years that was a hour walk each way. YANBU

RiverTam · 10/06/2015 20:34

No lockers? Really?? (I didn't really expect desks, tbhSmile). So they have to carry absolutely everything around with them all the time? That is utterly insane.

TheFirstOfHerName · 10/06/2015 20:45

My older two walk 1.5 miles each way to and from school, and have done since the beginning of Y7. It takes one of them 30 minutes and the other 40 minutes (he walks with friends who dawdle).

They both asked for ergonomic, back-friendly rucksacks as textbooks + rugby boots + musical instrument can weigh several kilos. North Face recon was recommended by someone on here; they both find it v.comfortable to carry and it has also lasted well.

As far as weather is concerned, neither of them mind the rain but they don't enjoy the uphill walk home when we get one of our rare heatwaves.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 10/06/2015 20:45

Too far to walk twice a day.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/06/2015 20:46

River - quite common ime, this is the first year ds has had a locker.

FryOneFatManic · 10/06/2015 20:47

DD does a 1.5 mile trip twice a day.

And when DS starts in September, he'll do the same.

It's not a hardship, and the regular walking is good for their fitness.