To expect my DCs (Yr 7&9) to walk 40 mins to school and home again.

[Lauresbadhairday]

My DCs are at an independent school and therefore most of the children live some distance away and are dropped off and picked up from school by parents every day. We live a 40 min walk away and I think my DCs should be able to manage this to and from school. They are 12 & 14.

They moan daily about walking - "it's too far", "my bag's too heavy, "it's raining", "none of my friends walk" etc, etc.

Now by my own admission I have been too soft and have dropped them off/picked them up quite frequently however I really want this to stop and for them to walk. I am getting much tougher and have not given them a lift at all since half-term but the moaning continues.

So, AIBU in making them walk 40 mins to school and back? If the general consensus is that I am then I will suck it up and give them a lift but I really think at 12&14 they are perfectly capable of walking this distance daily.

Anymore than 20 minutes is too far. yabu

I would definitely want to pick them up, especially if it's raining!
Private schools are more likely to do extra curricular activities = more stuff to carry.
40 minutes after a long day at school, then homework I don't imagine would give them much time.
You have to think they will be doing exercise in the day especially if they have P.E or extra curricular activities.
I think people are reading it wrong, no 2 miles isn't far, but imagine carrying eveything they do, then knowing you have to do homework or study for tests/exams, practice instruments (if they play any), do any chores they may be given around the house, eat their dinner and then have time for themselves. Surely that can't be great for them, whether you are trying to be tough or not.

I would maybe let them walk in the mornings and maybe pick up in the afternoon? But if it's raining heavily in the morning I would have to take them, I wouldn't want to spend all day with wet hair and clothes then know you have to walk home again.

Who cares if you have to sit in a queue at the end of the day?

Well the OP does, or she wouldn't mention it.

I still drive my DD to school so that she is full of energy for the day ahead. I'd be a bit worried about a child (assuming no health or diet issues) who didn't have energy left for the school day after a forty-minute morning walk.

I don't think 40 mins is too far but my ds is at an independent school and has very heavy bags including a large kit bag and sometimes sports equipment so he would struggle. He does do a 15 min bus journey and a 15 min walk though.

I don't think YABU, at all.
I used to walk about the same distance to and from school and I actually enjoyed the chance to move around a bit and unwind after a long day cooped up inside, and before sitting down again to do homework.

I did get the occasional lift from my dad, though, especially when raining/very cold.

I still walk about 2 miles to and from work to this day, and I think it's a good habit, especially as I loathe the gym, so at least I get a chance to do some exercise!

Here in Glasgow, I see huge numbers of uniforms for the both council schools and the blazer and tie schools making their own way, by bus, train, subway and walking, evidently from the first year of secondary, and in some cases I suspect they are younger students going to the lower school at same or different campus. i am sure many of them are walking the same distance yours are, plus a public transport lsection.

We walk our son (age 8) almost a mile, he rushes in the morning to make it in half an hour because dad has long legs and must get on to work. He dawdles with me in the afternoon and it takes at least 40 minutes, though we take the bus in bad weather. (Dad does not, he is made of sterner stuff than me, I was born in a warm country!)

Is there a bus which would shorten their trip a bit?

Yanbu at all.

A compromise could be on the days you pick them up they walk part of the way home and you pick them up at a prearranged point to avoid the queue of cars.

I do think that when it's decent weather they should walk and if it's raining they could wear a jacket with a hood? Or is,that a too far out concept? :o

Of course it's not too long.

And yes, I'm also not sure exactly why private school is meant to be so much more taxing than state school

God my four year old does a 30 minute school run twice a day without whinging.

DH was supposed to get to his school by a 10 minute train ride, and 20 minute uphill walk. He figured out he could walk or run up the river path in under an hour and keep his train fare. He became cross country runner for the school and this began a regular stretching and running a habit that never quite leaves him for more than a few months.

Saturday he proved to me that keeping the suit he bought to sit exams at Uni was justifiable as it still fits. He is 48. (God its an awful suit).

Tyca I don't think it's more taxing but the day is longer so walking in the dark whereas the state secondary here starts at 9.00 and finishes at 3.10pm , also the children never seem to have big bags of stuff , a lot of the girls just have little handbags whereas Ds has a huge rucksack ( partly because he is disorganised )

No wonder so many people are growing up unfit and obese nowadays. I went to school in the 90s and it was normal to walk 40 minutes each way to school. I know I did. It should be no problem for a healthy teenager. Get them good shoes and bags and they'll be fine.

Thanks for all your thoughts.

On days when they have music (trombone) and sports bags I take them and pick them up so it's only their school bag to carry. I like the idea of a drop off/pick up point perhaps 10/15 mins from school. I will look into this.

So the OP would rather get home sooner and have a cup of tea and browse MN while her boys struggle home 40 mins later laden with books and kit. Personally I couldn't do this.

Oh and I did plenty of extra curricular activities at my state school. I was in choir, orchestra, athletics club, hockey club, netball club and art club. I still managed to walk home.

Maybe I'm harsh but I think 40 mins is perfectly fine! My Yr7 DS has been doing this since he started at local secondary school in Sept last year. It's about 10-15mins into town, 5 mins through town, then another 10-15 mins up the hill the other side. Could be done in 30-35 mins but the way he and his friends dawdle and stop at the shops, it usually takes more like 45-50 mins!
If pouring down with rain, I do offer lifts though (but it has to be pouring!)

All good exercise and time to clear the brain before and after school in my opinion

I think they should be able to walk that provided they are not excessively laden with kit and the weather isn't too hideous. I think it would be more sensible to cycle that distance but they prefer not to. That's their choice, but it does suggest the walk really isn't that bad! My yr 8 walks a good 25 mins plus 15 min train. Next yr my new yr 7 will walk at least 35 mins plus 15 min train. No way we are driving them in - the traffic is dreadful and we need to go to work. They wouldn't want us to anyway - the journey is quite social and they like being independent. My DH used to cycle an hour to school.

It used to take me ages to walk and then bus, and then walk to school each day. Plus a huge hill, I hated it but you just got on with it (whilst whinging) as that was how it was. I also had to lug heavy bags and bloody cookery baskets!!

Are any of their friends travelling near your home, can a lift rota be organised?

The op is promoting independence in her boys. Children who are driven to school at secondary school need the apron strings cutting. My year 8 son walks a similar distance to school and whinges that I am mean.

Completely on the fence.

I certainly don't think 40 mins is too long a walk in and of itself when you're used to walking.

But if I was walking back from Tesco with a couple of bags of shopping and I knew that DP was driving home at that time from work, then I would damn well complain if he didn't come and pick me up.

My daughters go - gasp shock horror - to a local comprehensive and walk. It's about 45 minutes. So do most of their friends. I wouldn't dream of driving them.

They're also Y7 and Y9 btw. Sometimes they get the bus (it's free for kids in London).

I had about a 25 minute walk to secondary school and whilst it was fine in the nicer weather months, I absolutely hated it during winter! My DF started work too early to be able to take me, and finished too late to pick me up, so I just had to get on with it though. It always seemed like I was the only one who walked to school as well though this probably wasn't the case of course!

DH cycled to school at that age, 2.1miles to school, took about 20mins. Why is the eldest not keen? I'd say either he chooses to walk, and it takes 40mins, or he can perfectly well cycle and it would take 20mins.

He still cycles to work, about 20mins again, and you'd be amazed at how infrequently it is actually raining properly in the 20mins in the morning or in the afternoon. It's not a problem if it is raining in the afternoon, because he just gets wet and then changes at home. The very rare times it is raining hard in the morning, he either takes the car, or wears waterproofs.