To expect my DCs (Yr 7&9) to walk 40 mins to school and home again.

[Lauresbadhairday]

My DCs are at an independent school and therefore most of the children live some distance away and are dropped off and picked up from school by parents every day. We live a 40 min walk away and I think my DCs should be able to manage this to and from school. They are 12 & 14.

They moan daily about walking - "it's too far", "my bag's too heavy, "it's raining", "none of my friends walk" etc, etc.

Now by my own admission I have been too soft and have dropped them off/picked them up quite frequently however I really want this to stop and for them to walk. I am getting much tougher and have not given them a lift at all since half-term but the moaning continues.

So, AIBU in making them walk 40 mins to school and back? If the general consensus is that I am then I will suck it up and give them a lift but I really think at 12&14 they are perfectly capable of walking this distance daily.

40 mins = 2 miles or thereabouts.

That's just a pleasant walk.

Are there days when they are particularly heavily laden?

I'm torn. I walk 45 mins to and from work (well, off at the moment, but I normally do), and it's obviously fine. But I do have the option of getting a bus, which I will do sometimes if it's really late and I'm tired or if it's raining. But it does seem a lot at that age.

I'd say it's fine so long as

• they have good bags to carry their books in - ie well made backpacks. Satchels would be painful to carry heavy books in over a long distance.
• they don't have to carry an uncomfortable amount
• they have sturdy, comfortable shoes.
• they don't have to do it in bad weather
• they're not too tired to do homework and have a good amount of free time in the evening.

From your post it does seem like you're brushing off their concerns in a bid to be "tough". It's not unreasonable to not want to walk for that long with heavy bags in the pouring rain for example! There's no point in being tough for its own sake.

Hmm my dds are about 55 mins away and it's hilly. We've compromised and I drop them about 2/3rds of the way there in the morning and they walk home. It's only a slight detour on my way to work.

Sometimes one of them chooses to walk and if I'm away or ill then they have to walk!

40 mins on the flat I probably wouldn't tbh.

Why is it relevant that it's a private school?

I had a similar walk - quite enjoyed the walk in in the mornings but I was knackered by hometime and really hated the last uphill stretch of the walk home, especially on days when I had a PE bag and a cookery basket as well as my book bag. Could you compromise on lifts on really pouring wet days?

Erm, how about waterproofs? Wellies? A dry set of clothes to change into in their bags or lockers at school?

I don't drive and public transport here is pretty crap, so I walk everywhere in all weathers and you soon learn to prepare and dress appropriately!

Gosh. Lots of replies and lots of different opinions.

Their bags are quite heavy but they have good quality rucksacks and lockers so sometimes leave heavy textbooks at school if they don't need them.

I agree cycling would be good but eldest not keen and they like to walk together.

I work and whilst I can drop them off it is tight for me to then get to work. I could pick them up as finish work with enough time but I end up sitting in the queue with all the other parents and it feels like such a waste of time. We don't end up getting home much earlier when I pick them up than when they walk.

I guess a compromise would be the best way forward and I might agree to take them 2 days a week and they walk the other 3.

Loads of the kids round here have to do that length of walk. For many of them it's all up hill on the way back too.

The OP mentioned it because none of their friends walk at all.

Others of us mentioned it because at independent schools they tend to have a lot, lot more and heavier books, they often have longer days, they often do more games lessons and have more kit. Which are relevant factors as to how unbearably heavy their bags are and how tired they might be at the end of their day.

And it's unlikely to be anything more than about a mile and a half. The miles an hour is scouts pave and that's really speedy even for an adult. If they're trundling along and chatting it could be as little as a mile. A child that can't walk a mile twice a day is storing up serious problems.

The relevance of private school is that most of the children are driven in as they live far and wide so mine feel different and hard done by that they don't get a lift each day.

Can you arrange to drop them off/pick them up a bit further away so you're not caught up in the traffic?

Dd moans about walking half an hour, I say tough shit, wear coat, get the train and dodge the conductor or don't spend all your money on crap and pay train fare.

OP, how about making them walk in the morning every day (unless terrible weather), but for the end of day pick up, try to find a spot you could meet them so they just have to walk a little way but you don't get caught up in the traffic?

But Mrs Frumble, wellies aren't comfortable to walk 80 minutes per day in and will knacker their feet, plus in that case they'd have to carry shoes and another set of clothes in addition to games kit (including trainers), and books for school. That's an awful lot, and it's not actually good for you to carry that amount of weight for a long distance without it being very well distributed on your body - you'd need some kind of camping rucksack or similar.

I also walk a lot in all weathers but I think that it is fair enough to listen to the children's own concerns.

My DS complains constantly about his 40 minute walk each way - yet he can play sports for hours without a single moan. .

He does carry a bag - but only because he can't be bothered to sort it out and just take the relevant books each day ............ and as for 2 hours of homework a day - you must be joking, 5 minutes more like!

On the way home, get them to walk part way and meet you somewhere without the school traffic?

But they can walk there in the morning, it's good for them to get exercise before a day sitting at desks.

I'd find it easier to have a consistent routine tbh. so either always pick them up halfway home or never. Or always take them there or never. Otherwise you'll be nagged into doing on days your not meant to.

I think taking them to school and picking them up is more time spent with them. Who cares if you have to sit in a queue at the end of the day? I still drive my DD to school so that she is full of energy for the day ahead.

It is too much to do it everyday, get them a bike or a bus pass.

I think that if cycling is a realistic possibility then I would look into that. Not being keen is no reason for it not to happen.

Tell them it is that or walking & let them decide!

I think taking them to school and picking them up is more time spent with them. - I picked my DS up from school today as I was passing on my way home from a day out. Any attempt at pleasant conversation was met with a grunt and a surly announcement that I needed to make a cake for 30 for Friday.

I think I'd rather spend more time on my own. .

Sturdy, waterproof hiking shoes then? If they have lockers at school they can keep a spare pair of school shoes there to change in to. I'm just looking at the problem as if getting a lift isn't an option - although I know in the case of the OP it is - as some posters apparently think that walking anywhere in the rain is impossible!

As amicissimma says, for children in earlier decades this would have been normal and they probably wouldn't have had a choice. How common were 2 car families before the 1980s?

I think it depends on how much kit they have and the terrain, are we talking pavements or cross country, also what times are they starting and finishing

DS is 13 and at an independent , there are quite a few that live in the town and walk but probably 20 mins at most , he starts at 8.30 and finishes at 4.30 so in the winter would be walking in the dark and I wouldn't be keen on that as it is quite rural with unlit stretches.Some days he will also have sports kit , which is a huge sports bag including two pairs of trainers and rugby boots in winter plus hockey stick / cricket bat / swim kit other times and also his clarinet plus a heavy prep bag .

I think only you can judge whether it's too much but I would say they are probably quite unusual in walking that far.

I'd definitely push the cycling option. I'm in the "40 minutes is too far to walk" camp, but I'm much tougher when it comes to cycling. I went to an independent school where the standard school day was 10 hours, and I cycled. I played the violin too, and hooked the case over the handle bars. Mind you, it wasn't so good in the dark and rain, especially when a car didn't see me once and knocked me and my violin over!