To resent members of my wider family who voted Tory?

[Livingtothefull]

I love them and being with them (parents & siblings), that will never change, but I can't help being cross with them all the same:

Before the election we discussed who we would be voting for, who was going to win etc. Some family members said that they would be voting Tory because they felt that 'the economy would be in the safest hands'.

I told them that we all knew that if the Tories got in they would make savage cuts to public services, and that these were likely to affect some of the most vulnerable….one of these is my DS who is disabled, both physically (in a wheelchair) and severe learning disabilities.

Over the Coalition years quite a few of the things he used to enjoy and made our lives easier, have been stripped away. We knew if we had a Tory government that it was likely to get worse.

In the past few weeks we have learned the following:

The bus service that takes DS to his school (no suitable school in our area) is being cut back. The team of drivers/helpers, who have looked after him for over 5 years (so they know him & he is comfortable with them) is going to be replaced with a cheaper service….no first aid trained staff on the bus so instead we will be called, not great if we are at work.

DS goes to a family who look after him through a respite care service, every few weeks and occasionally overnight. Again, he has been going there for several years so close relationships have been formed. To cut a long story short, we have heard that this service is going to be reduced or even removed.

I wish we could just be left alone, we have enough on our plates without worrying about what is going to be taken away from DS and us next. I don't feel we are asking too much. My DS is highly vulnerable, will never be able to live independently, he will have as good a life as his country is willing to give him.

I will always love them but I really feel a gulf opening up between us & them in terms of our understanding, and this saddens me.

gonna hide this thread now
the blaming labour stuff is boring.
they havn't been in power for years

The majority of this country did not vote tory. Nowhere near. The UK parliament is in no way representative of UK voters.

What labour or any other party would or would not do if they were in power is irrelevant. FYI there are other parties other than blue and red so this shouldn't be about 'well labour is no better' That's like saying 'but he did it first miss'. It's irrelevant.

If we were not in debt (which has increased under this government), does anyone really believe that the conservatives would be pumping the surplus into essential services? They wouldn't. They believe in small government and lower taxes. Ignoring the fact that taxes are needed to support public services that people rely on. The recession is just a cover for what they would have done anyway.

That's the difference and why people in particular don't like the tory party. I honesty believe that people who vote tory either don't care or don't get it. For me there is just no other explanation short of mind control or pod people.

soapbox when the deficit is nil, we will get to see what the answer is - many believe that small government and lower tax rates increase the economy and the total tax take, thus having more money to spend on welfare not less. Surely 40% of a big number is better than 50% of a small number.

soapboxqueen, aww, do not blame your understanding problems on other people, that's dishonest and make you sound even more stupid.

Soapbox epitomises why Labour lost.

No labour lost because they spend too much time being tory light and didn't put together a credible opposition or viable alternative.

That doesn't actually mean that the conservatives are a good choice.

No, they lost because they weren't Tory-lite. Please keep up.

Wrt OP, I don't believe a political party exists that wants the disabled to suffer. YANBU to be concerned, YABU to blame your wider family.

Carol and plenty of people don't. Funny while everyone argues about who is right it is the vulnerable and last able to defend themselves that suffer.

The irony of that last statement.

Very exciting. (Will it have a ramp?)

Sorry - wrong thread!

Flip if they move any further right they might as well shut up shop and leave it to the tories. The left of centre parties are SNP, green etc not labour.

I love this

Don't blame tories, don't blame tories. They have different views. They aren't all bad. I'm sick of tory bashing.

All other parties don't get it though. They are naive and stupid. They just don't get all these big important stuff. Ha ha ha

Only 27% of registered voters voted tory so I think your in the minority.

I wouldn't vote Labour, soapbox, being a mere pod person, so can't offer any more guidance into how they might become electable again. I would have thought though that insulting the non-left electorate and encouraging supporters to segregate themselves from family and friends who might think differently from them is not a particularly great way forward. Last post from me on this as I don't want to derail OP.

Smoke and mirrors.

Op is questioning FPTP, not supporting labour.
Carers do a demanding and often thankless job. They should command our respect, not derision. Op is caring 24:7 for her disabled child, her views deserve to be heard.

Flipflop it isn't about segregating or forcing people to vote the way you want. The op wanted to know if she was being unreasonable for feeling the way she feels. I and others don't think she is.

As a carer myself I feel very strongly about it. My ds is directly affected by cuts being made. I'm more than likely going to have to home school him because there are no facilties for him. I've already given up work because school couldn't have him full time.

Forgive me if I have little time for the people doing it or those that agree with it.

FPTP has been the same, with the same impact for many years. People have campiagned on this for many years. We have recently had a referendum where people rejected it.
The honest truth is that countries with a PR system have more, better defined parties which have coalitions, but there is less certainty before the election which policies will be carried through.
In the UK, we have coalitions within larger parties, but they agree thier position before the election, which gives you more certainty about manifesto commitments.
All that would happen if we had 'proper' PR is that the parties would split into left, centre, right and the centre would have the largest party with the left or right being kingmaker, leading to a left of centre coalition (equivalent to Labour) or a right of centre coalition (equivalent to Conservative). Really small parties (Green, BNP, etc) do equally badly in PR countries as FPTP.

Betty

I don't think many people are saying the OP hasn't got the right to share her views with her family or on here (or via her MP etc) in the same way as every other voter does. Her views or no less (or more) important than others.

Where I disagree with OP is her resentment towards her family for not voting the way she would have preferred, as I don't think it is fair to expect that. Ultimately, continuing in this way is more likely to negatively affect the OP than anyone else- she has enough on her plate without expending useless energy in resenting people who she says she loves and are good people, or by letting this resentment cause a gulf between her and her family.

I agree FPTP is not leading to truly representative government and would be in favour of the voting system being reformed.

I think you're being very unreasonable OP. Firstly, the way they vote is nothing to do with you. I don't think that any party covers themselves in glory and therefore any voter has no right to posture. Everybody votes for - hopefully - the party they think will deliver the best for them, their families and policies they feel strongly about. I'm obviously excepting the terminally stupid who allow food ingestion methods to dictate their choices.

If you can't, as a family, agree to disagree on your politics without fallout then don't discuss them, it's as simple as that. You have one vote and presumably used it. Do you family resent you for not voting Conservative?

I didn't vote Conservative. I voted Labour. I don't think they'd do any better.

You have a family and presumably they love and care for you. Do not put that in jeopardy by trying to bend them to your will. You can't, but you could cause spectacular resentment of your and that will not be good for your child.

As a society we need to recognise that carers, such as op and soapboxqueen, save our country billions of pounds.
Carers allowance should be much more than it currently is and carers deserve to be better supported.
Op is disappointed that some members of her wider family voted Tory, as their economic policies are diametrically opposed to the support she requires to care for her son. Funding was better under labour.

I do take issue with the concept of carers saving billions of pounds for the country.

It is equivalent to saying I am saving the country billions of pounds by not placing my children in care. In theory yes; in practice no, as they are my children and I am raising them.

I feel the same about my family OP.
I know they are entitled to their opinion and can vote for who they like but sad they have no understanding or even accept the damage Tory policies do to the vulnerable or poorer people of this country.
I don't know how we can come from the same gene pool.

A funded place in a residential home for a disabled child with complex needs costs around £190,000 a year.
A child I have supported has recently been placed into full residential care as their parents couldn't manage their needs. That is how much it is costing my Local Authority.

as their parents couldn't manage their needs

A place in foster care for parents who can't manage their children is also very expensive, Betty; I'm not disputing the cost. I am saying parents caring for their own children shouldn't be considered to be "saving the state thousands."

Sadly there are very few foster carers for disabled children.

I am referring to disabled children who need full time caring.