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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

couples walking through shops holding hands

317 replies

DosDuchas · 06/06/2015 16:46

Has anyone ever BARGED through the barrier they create and shouted STOP HOLDING HANDS FGS YOU ANNOYING PEOPLE?
( or perhaps something snappier?)

marks and spencer today - it was like british bloody bulldog, especially when the man LEADS the woman through the shops, swerving past racks of clothes, creating a four foot wide barrier

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 07/06/2015 17:52

I couldn't give a fuck what other people do, as long as it doesn't mean they get in the way while doing it.

The OTT kissing and groping in public is annoying though. Get a room ffs.

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 17:52

Someone tried to barge through me and dh once. She did look funny, like a hamster on a wheel trying to scrabble through. (We didn't separate).

fiveacres · 07/06/2015 17:52

Tinkly - my understanding is that you are forced to walk around holding onto your partner because otherwise you would fall and hurt yourself.

That's fine. That's different to 'holding hands' which is done either to ensure one party doesn't wander off DD or as a mark of affection. I have no issue with holding hands for either of those reasons, but what is being stated is that some people believe their desire to show affection for the other trumps other people's desire to walk on the pavement or to get past freely.

That's not on, is it?

MythicalKings · 07/06/2015 18:00

Oh dear, anger issues. Anger management may help with that.

Not anger issues, I'm not angry. Amazed that people think it's ok to take up a pavement and force others into the road so they can cling to the hand of a partner in case they seize the chance to escape.

I will gently push through you rather than walk on the road, though, but I'll be feeling a bit sorry for you rather than angry.

Cooroo · 07/06/2015 18:00

All this or similar could have been said about cyclists, or car drivers, or bird watchers or dog owners. There are rude people out there, there are kind polite people and sometimes good people are preoccupied and appear rude. The vitriol and snottiness to hand holders is bizarre.

MythicalKings · 07/06/2015 18:01

Someone tried to barge through me and dh once. She did look funny, like a hamster on a wheel trying to scrabble through. (We didn't separate).

What delightful people you are. Did the poor woman have to walk in the road?

WoonerismSpit · 07/06/2015 18:02

Why didn't you separate dinosaur? Were you blocking her path?

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/06/2015 18:03

I really don't think anyone is saying that Fiveacres. I think that, at worse, people are saying that when they are holding hands they are sometimes a bit oblivious to other people, really not intentionally intending to piss anyone off.

I imagine you may well think DH and I were refusing to leap out of your way because of our massive sense of loved up entitlement.

FWIW, from my younger and more nimble days, I honestly cannot recollect ever being pissed off by having to negotiate around people holding hands. In my buggy pushing/little kid wrangling days I would merely stop on the pavement and wait for them to go around me. Seriously, I cannot recall being irritated by it.

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 18:03

No she didn't. There was plenty of room for her on the pavement. I guess she just had bad attitude, like a few others on this thread Smile

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 18:04

Why didn't you separate dinosaur?

Why should we separate?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 07/06/2015 18:07

Anger issues Grin oh I've heard it all now

WoonerismSpit · 07/06/2015 18:08

That didn't answer my question though, did it?

fiveacres · 07/06/2015 18:11

No, Tinkly, have a look through my posts. Not once have I used the words 'loved up entitlement'.

I HAVE used - anti social, oblivious, rude and inconsiderate.

Do they apply to you and your husband? No, because (for the third time Wink) there is a difference between walking with someone because of a disability and holding hands because you can't bear
to let go.

To give another example, I have a 14 month old daughter. I hold her hand and I would expect people to step around us, not because I am entitled but because holding hands for safety reasons is different to holding hands for romantic reasons.

The problems come when people decide their right to hold hands as a couple, a partnership, is more important than me holding onto my toddler.

That is rude. That is saying, in effect, 'my right to walk how I wish trumps yours.' It is saying 'we don't notice anybody else. We matter. We are important. You are not.'

If I was walking with DD and encountered an elderly person struggling to walk, someone on crutches, wheelchair, I'd scoop her up, pregnant as I am, because that is the polite thing to do, and let them pass.

It really isn't hard.

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 18:12

You only had to look at my post immediately before wooner, right there before your very eyes, to see your question had indeed been answered.

noddyholder · 07/06/2015 18:13

I don't think anyone is saying they can't bear to let go are they?

fiveacres · 07/06/2015 18:13

The people who keep barging my daughter off the pavement are!

(This town does have narrow pavements, conceded. But still!)

TinklyLittleLaugh · 07/06/2015 18:22

But the point I am making Fiveacres, is that you may well not cotton on to my disability. I walk slowly, but I don't always have an obvious limp or anything, I'm a bit frail and skinny but I look pretty normal, (or so I like to think).

Sometimes I use my scooter, but if we are somewhere cobbley, or with lots of high curbs that's just not practical. Often I use my stick, mainly as a signifier to people that I am disabled, but to be honest my hands are so crap I just drop it half the time anyway.

Things are not always what they seem.

WoonerismSpit · 07/06/2015 18:27

Then I thought it was obvious that my asking why you didn't separate was a follow on question that was only required an answer if there hadn't been room for her to pass.

Don't start with that right before your eyes BS with me please.

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 18:41

You asked 2 questions wooner. They have been answered for you. Clearly as you didn't see the answer there all ready for you, it was best to point this out to you. Terribly sorry that this didn't please you and was clearly the wrong course of action. As was my faliure to interpret which of your questions you wanted answers to and which ones you didn't. Hth Smile

CatherineU · 07/06/2015 18:43

I take it you're single then?

WoonerismSpit · 07/06/2015 18:51

Sarcastic and passive aggressive, no wonder your DH wants to hold your hand - you are a keeper!

You have deliberately misunderstood what I was saying. I asked if there was room for her to pass, and why you didn't separate. The second question necessitated a yes from the first. It wasn't a case of picking and choosing.

DancingDinosaur · 07/06/2015 18:59

Not deliberately misunderstood at all. I just answered your questions. This is getting a little boring now though isn't it . I don't really need a drawn out conversation about your questions and how you wanted them answered.

And yes, I guess my husband does think I'm a keeper. As I do him Smile

fiveacres · 07/06/2015 19:01

Single is an insult now, is it?

Tinkly I got your point. Long, long ago.

foxinsocks · 07/06/2015 19:03

Someone did this to me at Waterloo on Friday. Rush hour, extremely busy, thousands of people and a man and woman were walking holding hands in front of the bottom of the up escalator so when I went to get on it, I got stuck in their hand hold bit.

They refused to let go, despite causing a backlog behind me so I had to British bulldog barge their hands till they let go which they did eventually while having a go at me

Fgs

WoonerismSpit · 07/06/2015 19:06

No, you shouldn't. I thought that's where common sense came in, but never mind.

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