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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reclining aeroplane seats?

260 replies

MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 08:00

Flew to Spain yesterday with DS who had to sit on my lap. We were the row behind extra leg room.

Woman in front tried to recline her seat but there was literally no room for her to do so. We couldn't even put the tray down when her seat was fully upright as he had to sit on my knee.

She then ranted like a mad woman to her husband about "inconsiderate parents" I'd like to point out DS slept for most of the journey.

So AIBU to think on a 3 hour flight with a toddler on a parents knee behind you, you don't really need to recline your seat?

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 05/06/2015 14:31

I find it strange how reclining a seat makes a 'barely noticeable difference' to the person sitting in it and yet results in people being unable to eat or drink behind - is there some kind of space-time disruption where by reclining a seat takes more space from behind than it gives in front??

yes. have you never sat in an airline seat and experienced this?

A reclined seat is still pretty much upright. The angle is not large enough to make a dramatic difference for daytime comfort or for sleeping though it seems to make people imagine they are in a more relaxed position, I suppose it is the additional inches in front of their face that makes them feel more comfy.

but for the person behind, losing a quarter of the space in front of your face is discomforting. It cancels out the miniscule amount of space they might have used to lean forward to reach their bag under their seat, or to stand up in order to go to the bathroom and it jams the tray table, which they might want open to hold their drink, book or electronic device, or an old fashioned paper notebook (or kids coloring book or some device meant to keep them quiet) so close to them/into them so as to make it unusable.

alrayyan · 05/06/2015 14:31

If you want to be assured of comfort pay the extra. It's not rocket science. If you fly economy it will probably be shit. If you are the person who moans about a small child doing nothing wrong then that says more about you. I love small children. I like drunks as well, they can be fun. I just don't want to fly with them inches from my face. so I book a seat that will suit my wishes and stop me whinging. Flying isn't like food. If you can't afford it, don't do it unless you are prepared to be less than comfortable.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 14:39

Weebirdie OP said it was Thomas Cook who say this on their website

Do infants have their own seat on the aircraft?
No, an infant would sit on their parent or guardian's lap unless a separate seat is paid for. If you would like a seat for your infant, you will be required to purchase a seat at a child price.

Maybe the plane was full I don't know, but you can buy seats for infants.

PtolemysNeedle · 05/06/2015 14:42

Momagain, that may be how it is for you, but not everyone feels the same. I find the seats being quite so upright uncomfortable If I have to stay like that for any length of time. Being able to recline, even by only a small amount, does make a difference.

Having a seat in front slightly closer makes no difference to me at all, I've either got my nose in a book or I'm trying to sleep, so I couldn't care less whether I'm behind a recliner.

It is ridiculous to suggest that people should sacrifice physical comfort so that a child can do some colouring.

OllyBJolly · 05/06/2015 14:43

But everyone was just a bit more considerate it wouldn't be as shit, would it?

I must be lucky as most flights I'm on (mainly UK/US/Canada) most people are aware of the recliners' etiquette and do observe it. On the few flights I've been on where people don't, it's difficult. If the seat in front is reclined it's impossible to work on a laptop, very difficult to get in and out to go to the loo, and difficult to eat from the tray table.

This "I paid for my seat and I'll damn well recline it" notion would be laughable if it wasn't so sad. Just have a bit of respect, people. Flying is just another mode of travel. I wouldn't be rude to people who sit close to me on buses or trains, I've no idea why flying turns some people into demons.

microferret · 05/06/2015 14:45

why doesn't the person behind just recline their seat too? I seriously don't get why this has to be a big deal.

Original poster
MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 14:45

weeBirdie we flew with Thomas Cook and my son is 21 months.

Booked last year so don't see how flight could have been full but can't think of another reason they wouldn't sell me a seat for him. Unless they prefer to keep them for full price adults instead of half price infants.

OP posts:
SorchaN · 05/06/2015 14:46

I've paid for a ticket on a plane - why is it my responsibility to ensure the personal preferences of the person behind me?

Because other people's comfort is more important than your money.
And because thinking that your money trumps other people's comfort makes you a dick.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 14:46

I recline my seat so I can actually walk, aided by crutches, off the plane. It makes a painful journey more bearable for me. I could just stay at home and fester. DH and I could not go on holiday ever again just so all of you who don't think I should use the seat as its intended don't get pissed off! Hmm

PtolemysNeedle · 05/06/2015 14:47

But what's the point in worrying about other people comfort when plenty of people couldn't give a toss whether or not you recline your seat?

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 14:49

The difference between a grown up passenger and a child is that the child simply doesn't know better and is bored and liable to throw a giant tantrum which will then disturb the entire plane and inconvenience far more people. I am sorry, but they and their parents NEED the space for colouring more than you need the space for rest.

I speak here as someone who doesn't have children, and who recently sat on a 4 hour flight next to a toddler who screamed and screamed and screamed. Not her fault, and not her parents' fault, and I tried to do everything I could to entertain and amuse her and to give them a break. Yes, I'd paid for a seat but that did not entitle me to become sociopathically self-obsessed with my own comfort. The colouring made the world of difference to the rest of the plane. It's not all about you and your personal comfort!

I despair, really. You would think that people were being asked to go sacrifice their lives at Verdun, not to sit on a plane politely for just a few hours.

5YearsTime · 05/06/2015 14:56

I like to wedge my knees and hands under the chair when someone starts to recline. Had a few people very quickly get the point. I'm just using my right to stretch.

Obviously if they then explained that they had to recline for a specific reason... Fine. Most folk are just inconsiderate though!

PtolemysNeedle · 05/06/2015 14:59

A toddler screaming for an entire flight did not happen because of a seat recliner. And no, a child that is old enough to do actual colouring does not need the seat in front of then to be kept as upright as possible. They are usually small enough that they can use their tray whether or not the person in front is reclined. I'm a fully grown adult, and while it might be a bit tight, I can get the tray down in front of me if the peston in front is reclined so I can't see why a child couldn't.

Either way, a persons physical comfort is more important than a persons need to use their tray when it's not a mealtime.

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 15:00

I'm loving the arrogance of 'if you can't afford first class just suck up all the discomfort or don't fly'.

Maybe if you can't afford to fly first class just accept that reclining is going to annoy the person behind you because space is tight.

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 15:01

"Either way, a persons physical comfort is more important than a persons need to use their tray when it's not a mealtime."

What about the physical comfort of the person behind the recliner?

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:02

Ptolemy - actually the little girl was sitting on the floor, at our feet. She screamed and screamed in what I believe was genuine fear until she could get down there. She needed that space, not the tray.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 05/06/2015 15:02

Seats on aeroplanes should not recline. They shouldn't be made with the facility. End of story.

I am aghast at some of the incredibly selfish attitudes on this thread. If I want to do something I will. Sod anyone else I adversely effect. Some of you sound like 8 year olds TBH.

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:05

Also, if someone came up to me and said 'I'm terribly sorry, but I'm disabled and I need to recline my chair because of a leg injury', of course I would be totally OK with that. But I would expect them to speak to me about it, just briefly, and not just to do it!

It's just basic decency. I don't see how anyone can argue that a behaviour that so many people are saying causes all kinds of inconvenience and discomfort is OK. Why would you want to mark yourself out as a total selfish twat like that?

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 15:07

Why should I explain my medical history to you or anyone else holly?

PtolemysNeedle · 05/06/2015 15:08

A reclined seat doesn't make any difference to floor space for a screaming toddler.

Even if it did I'm amazed that you'd rather have a plane full of potentially uncomfortable adults on the off chance that there's a small child who will only be comforted by sitting on the floor.

Gnome, the person behind the recliner is free to recline their own seat and get back the couple of inches in front of their face that they have lost.

Some people will be uncomfortable in the upright position, some people will be uncomfortable if the person in front reclines. No one is more important than anyone else, but as losing a couple if inches in front of your face doesn't actually affect the position you're sitting in, I think the person who is using their seat the way it was intended within the rules of the airline has to take priority.

TTWK · 05/06/2015 15:09

Oh FGS, business is unbelievably expensive. If we were talking a hundred quid extra or so, but most people can't pay those kind of prices. Are we saying they should suck up extreme discomfort?

Yes, that's it in a nutshell. Apart from extreme discomfort. It isn't extreme at all, it's just a bit squashed. Get a grip.

It's extremely entitled to expect a level of comfort and service you haven't paid for. Especially when you know in advance of booking exactly what it's like.

microferret · 05/06/2015 15:10

I'm confused - why is it selfish to recline your seat, but not selfish to expect the person in front to sacrifice their comfort for you?

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 15:10

No one's asking for your medical history Fairy. Just a quick 'I suffer with my back (or whatever) so would you mind if I reclined the seat'.

It's called engaging with others and showing a bit of thought and consideration.

mousmous · 05/06/2015 15:10

well, if you can't sit without reclining get a medical certificate so the airline can accomodate your need.

wrt to toddler on lap, even when flying assisted (wheelchair due to broken foot) dc had to sit on my lap.

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:11

I'm not asking for your history! I'm saying it's polite to say 'I'm terribly sorry - do you mind if I recline my seat. It's for medical reasons! I'm not just being selfish, I promise'.

I don't want all the gory details!

I have had to ask to sit near the toilet several times on a plane because of being very unwell. So I know exactly what it is like having to approach people and discuss something like this - and believe me, my illness was a longstanding one and much more embarrassing to talk about than a leg injury. However, I've never had someone be less than a hundred percent lovely and supportive about it.

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