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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Reclining aeroplane seats?

260 replies

MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 08:00

Flew to Spain yesterday with DS who had to sit on my lap. We were the row behind extra leg room.

Woman in front tried to recline her seat but there was literally no room for her to do so. We couldn't even put the tray down when her seat was fully upright as he had to sit on my knee.

She then ranted like a mad woman to her husband about "inconsiderate parents" I'd like to point out DS slept for most of the journey.

So AIBU to think on a 3 hour flight with a toddler on a parents knee behind you, you don't really need to recline your seat?

OP posts:

Want2bSupermum · 05/06/2015 10:35

Carrie if you are worried about blood clots wear the socks and do ankle circles in your seat. There is absolutely no need to walk the aisle. As for drinks, get up and go to the back of the plane and ask for a drink. If you go back there you might find the crew have put out a tray of water and juice for passengers to help themselves. Buzzing crew is wholly inappropriate for a non emergency. I have only buzzed once which was on a SAS flight and DD was fading fast due to the pilot not putting the AC on. We were very close to telling them to go back to the gate because DD was extremely overheated even in her diaper only. We requested a flannel and ice water plus they inform the pilot of the situation. With a temp of 104 (a temporal thermometer so not 100% accurate) she was about to pass out.

CarriesBucketOfBlood · 05/06/2015 10:43

Want2bSupermum What about when parents need to walk toddlers up and down the aisles to stop them screaming? I also don't particularly want to wear some uncomfortable socks. I think it's in the Cathay Pacific flight magazine that you should consider going for a walk.

I would also consider approaching the flight crew much more obtrusive than a half-a-second ding. Imagine if everyone was getting up to see the crew? If you don't want people getting up then you shouldn't be advocating self service drinks.

19lottie82 · 05/06/2015 10:44

There is NO established ettiquette. Anyone who flies regularly, short-, medium-, long- and ultra-long-haul knows this.

I fly regularly and I say there is, as do plenty of others on here.

Again etiquette is really just good manners. Are you trying to say there aren't any manners in relation to reclining?

I', eating my meal with the tray down and the person in front of me pushes their seat all the way back? That's not bad manners? Okayyyyyyyyyyy {hmm}

SunshineAndShadows · 05/06/2015 10:44

I'm a very frequently flier - the shorthaul etiquette nonsense is clearly spouted by people who don't travel very far. I regularly get off a 8-10 hour flight and connect onto a 3 hour one. I'm bloody knackered, am I not supposed to rest because it's 'shorthaul' even though my journey is a long one and I'm jetlagged?

You've paid for a seat - you're within your rights to use its functions. I simply don't understand how someone reclining their seat squashes the person behind - I'm pretty tall and hefty and I don't get squashed - the seat doesn't move backwards lower down where your legs are anyway - its just that the angle changes so you get less 'head room' (which you don't need anyway.

Reclining makes a massive difference to me in terms of comfort and ability to sleep, the function is there for a reason

morelikeguidelines · 05/06/2015 10:46

Tbh I find sitting bold upright uncomfortable because of my back.

I still think this woman was being massively U.

And I still think her husband could have swapped with her if it was such a big deal to her personally.

viva100 · 05/06/2015 10:50

If it reclines, you can recline it.
If you don't like it, pay for premium/business, don't rely on strangers being nice.
I have terrible lower back and sciatica pain. I will always recline my seat if I can as it makes it more bearable. Of course, if the person behind me was really big or tall or had a toddler on their knees I would probably suck it up for 2 hours. OP, I think the woman on your flight was very rude and most people would have put their seat up if asked nicely. But there are no hard rules on this.

cjt110 · 05/06/2015 10:52

Ive got this to look forward to in a week's time... hadnt even though of this... damn

TTWK · 05/06/2015 10:54

specialsubject-seats are made to recline. Sitting bolt upright can be very uncomfortable. Not reclining at takeoff, landing and meal time is for safety/courtesy reasons; at other times, suck it up.if you want cheap flights, it won't be comfortable in economy. Learn to live with it or don't fly

100% right.

yorkshapudding · 05/06/2015 10:54

This is a bit of a sore point for me having experienced a hellish 12 hour flight where the person in front of me reclined their seat as soon as we were in the air and remained that way for the full 12 hours, refusing to even put it up for meals. At one point the flight attendant asked her to put the seat up so I could eat my meal and she sat up for about a minute until the flight attendant had walked away then reclined again . I understand that you've paid for your seat, you're "entitled" to recline etc etc but it's about common courtesy. I would feel like an inconsiderate twat if I reclined my seat knowing there was a passenger with an under 2 on her lap behind me, whether I was technically "entitled" to do so or not.

morelikeguidelines · 05/06/2015 10:57

I would feel like an inconsiderate twat if I reclined my seat knowing there was a passenger with an under 2 on her lap behind me, whether I was technically "entitled" to do so or not.

This

morelikeguidelines · 05/06/2015 10:58

Also this is why toddler ds is going on dh's lap on our flights this year. People just don't treat men with children in this way. (IMO)

PtolemysNeedle · 05/06/2015 11:30

It amuses me how irate people get about plane seats on MN. As long as there aren't meals being eaten, using the recline function is fine. The length of flight is irrelevant.

If you're going to travel with a child on your lap, then you know you're going to have an uncomfortable flight. You don't have a right to inflict your discomfort on other people. You can hope that the person in front isn't bothered about reclining and so chooses not to, but they aren't doing anything wrong if they do recline.

BubGal13 · 05/06/2015 11:35

I always get the recliner on short haul flights in front of me- who do so moment they sit down on plane. I also get the people who not only recline but constantly shift/move heavily around- so every time the chair is shoved into me even more so. If this happens, and then again when food comes- I just ensure I knee the back of the chair/push in my tray table in exaggerated fashion to highlight fact I can’t eat or drink thanks to them- to make their flight as uncomfortable as they've made mine.

Yes know I’ll get the outraged response’s here- but if they show so little courtesy or consideration to those behind them, they should respect same in return. If it didn't happen to me every time I wouldn't be like this, but after years of enduring this, so much so it’s become a family joke, I have lost patience/sanity.

OP- YANBU.

Weebirdie · 05/06/2015 11:44

I think if your not going to buy your toddler a ticket then you really cant expect people to accommodate your seating requirements.

I would never have expected other people to compromise their comfort in order to save money so we always bought the children a ticket. It was usually 50 per cent of the adult fair.

nottheOP · 05/06/2015 11:45

Am I being dumb? If the person in front reclines and takes up a bit of your space, you just need to do the same and you have regained the space.

I have to say I don't bother reclining as it doesn't really make any difference.

To those of you who just buy another seat, not everyone has it spare and not all under twos would contemplate using the seat you've spent a fortune on.

Weebirdie · 05/06/2015 11:47

To those of you who just buy another seat, not everyone has it spare and not all under twos would contemplate using the seat you've spent a fortune on.

Then just accept that the person in front of you can recline and you just have to put up with it.

Original poster

MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 11:51

But she physically couldn't recline her seat. I didn't do anything to stop her. There was just no room. I did try to buy him a seat but wasn't allowed to.

OP posts:

TedAndLola · 05/06/2015 11:52

The sooner all planes come without the reclining function, the better.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/06/2015 11:58

Weebirdie - the OP said that she wanted to buy a seat for the toddler, and the travel company wouldn't sell her one - so not her fault that the toddler was on her lap, and that there was no room for the other person to recline.

HappenstanceMarmite · 05/06/2015 12:05

Nothing gets my goat more than having to put up with people who don't fly often when I'm travelling

Thinly-veiled stealth boasts get my goat. How insecure are the PPs who feel the need to make sure everyone knows they are frequent flyers? (Rhetorical question). Patheticly competitive

PrimalLass · 05/06/2015 12:37

Nothing gets my goat more than having to put up with people who don't fly often when I'm travelling.

Oh dear, poor you.

batfish · 05/06/2015 12:42

I fly quite often - usually long haul - and always recline. I don't actually pay attention to who is sitting behind me. I do always put the seat upright when food is served to give the person behind space. The person in front of me reclines the majority of the time so if I don't then I am left with my nose practically touching the back of their seat. If someone behind tapped me on the shoulder and said excuse me but I have a child on my knee and we are struggling for space then of course I would sit upright - but flying is uncomfortable enough without having to sit bolt upright in case the person behind doesn't like you reclining. I just don't generally pay attention to what is going on behind me, I would never purposely cause someone discomfort but the way I see it is that if I recline and reduce their space then they can recline also. Like I said, if I was informed that I was putting them in discomfort then I would change things. And I am someone who is very concerned about what other people think of me so would never purposely upset anyone!

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 12:51

There was probably a logic to reclining seats in the days when even short haul flights provided plenty of space between rows.

Nowadays there just isn't room to recline without seriously impacting on the person behind you. So unless there's a very good reason eg not feeling well, just got off a flight from Australia, it's inconsiderate and selfish to recline.

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 12:55

Want2bsupermum

You really should read back over your post and see how superior and cocky you sound.

holidaysarenice · 05/06/2015 12:56

If the seat reclines you can recline...end of story!

Yes it's shit for the person behind if they are obese/tall/with kids but that is not your problem. And the person in front of you won't be thinking about two rows back when they recline into you either.

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