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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reclining aeroplane seats?

260 replies

MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 08:00

Flew to Spain yesterday with DS who had to sit on my lap. We were the row behind extra leg room.

Woman in front tried to recline her seat but there was literally no room for her to do so. We couldn't even put the tray down when her seat was fully upright as he had to sit on my knee.

She then ranted like a mad woman to her husband about "inconsiderate parents" I'd like to point out DS slept for most of the journey.

So AIBU to think on a 3 hour flight with a toddler on a parents knee behind you, you don't really need to recline your seat?

OP posts:
notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 15:11

But TTWK, surely the people reclining are also allowing themselves a level of comfort and service that can only be achieved by adding to the discomfort of the people behind them. Surely that's 'extremely entitled'.

notaplasticgnome · 05/06/2015 15:12

microferret

If no one reclines everyone has the same space.
If someone reclines it's at the expense of someone else's space. That's why it's selfish.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 15:14

plastic I don't have to tell anyone what I suffer with because it is no one's business but mine. I get taken on the aircraft in either a wheelchair or ambulift, so most people can see there is something wrong with me.

microferret · 05/06/2015 15:14

but if everyone reclines everyone has the same space too.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 15:16

I will never, ever say to anyone "I'm terribly sorry I'm disabled so I need to recline my seat!" Because it's not my fucking fault I am disabled and I'm not sorry that I am!

TedAndLola · 05/06/2015 15:18

What about the people in the back row? They usually don't recline at all, do they?

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:18

Actually, that's not what I said Fairy and you are clutching desperately at straws. Let me translate polite language for you.

"I'm terribly sorry - do you mind if I recline my seat" means "I'm terribly sorry FOR BOTHERING YOU - do you mind if I recline my seat".

I am disabled too.

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:19

i.e. 'I'm terribly sorry for bothering you' is just a form of words you use to start a conversation at a time when people are likely to be busy sorting out luggage, checking where everything is, putting things in lockers etc. It is absolutely NOT an apology for being disabled.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 15:21

I'm not clutching at straws at all! I don't have to apologise for being disabled or reclining my seat.

Sparklingbrook · 05/06/2015 15:21

I hate flying. Cooped up with anti social strangers for hours. Reclining seats back and forth, getting up and down, rummaging in the overhead lockers every five minutes. And the awful 'meals'. then assumptions made that it is night therefore you must sleep.

I hadn't thought much about the reclining chair thing though until I joined MN and realised it was a bit of a hot topic.

Not sure what the answer is though. Be polite and ask and don't be an arse?

microferret · 05/06/2015 15:22

It's never bothered me when the person in front reclines so I guess I just never saw it as a big deal to do it myself.

On another note I now limit flights to one short-haul return trip per year (visiting family in Turkey) due to the devastating environmental impact plane travel has. So I'm not going to feel guilty about reclining my seat when some people fly like there's no tomorrow, regardless of the fact that it's screwing up the planet for our kids. There are many different ways to be selfish - some more serious than others.

Theycallmemellowjello · 05/06/2015 15:26

I am really confused as to why reclining causes so much ire. I'm on the tall side - 5'9'' - and it doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone reclines, even if I don't recline. The chair in front doesn't slam back into my knees or make any more contact with me at all, I just have less empty space in front of my head.

I can understand that if there's a child on your lap, or you're very tall, or very obese, then the chair in front of you might make contact with you, and I think it's fair enough for them to have a word with the person in front of them if they can't afford to pay for more legroom. But otherwise I don't really see why anyone would have a problem with it.

Certainly I don't see why it is more entitled to recline than it is to ask someone not to recline. If anything, expecting someone not to recline is more entitled because (i) you're asking them not to use their seat functions, and (ii) if the person ahead of them reclines they are stuck with less room, where as if they recline then you can also recline and regain your space that way.

As for the idea of there being a universal etiquette... I think that the controversy this issue generates demonstrates that there definitely isn't. I used to fly economy across the atlantic regularly, and as far as I can tell it was usual for lots of people to recline when the seatbelt signs came off.

But in general, the people to direct your anger at are the airlines that pack too many people on board, not fellow passengers!

camelfinger · 05/06/2015 15:27

It really annoys me when people recline their seats, even when travelling without babies and as quite a small person myself. I do recline my seat though if the person in front does so I don't lose out on the space. I don't find it comfortable anyway with it reclined, you're then just slouching the whole way.

angelos02 · 05/06/2015 15:27

I am getting sick of excuses for selfish behaviour. Same as that café sharing tables thread. It makes no difference to the impact on others.

microferret · 05/06/2015 15:29

well camel, I find it quite uncomfortable not to recline, especially if I'm trying to sleep... So who should get their way?

SorchaN · 05/06/2015 15:31

I'm not clutching at straws at all! I don't have to apologise for being disabled or reclining my seat.

No, you don't HAVE to. But you might want to be aware that you're not the only person in the world with a medical condition or disability. If you sat in front of me and reclined your seat you'd have my knees in your back every five minutes because of my disability. What fun we could have with our competing rights needs!

Sparklingbrook · 05/06/2015 15:31

I have flown all over the place and never managed a wink of sleep on a flight. Reclining wouldn't make any difference. Sad

MaidOfStars · 05/06/2015 15:35

they and their parents NEED the space for colouring more than you need the space for rest

How do you know what "rest" people need? Maybe this is their fourth flight of the day, maybe they have a five hour drive ahead of them, etc etc.

SunshineAndShadows · 05/06/2015 15:35

I'm starting to wonder if people on this thread actually travel on planes or are just here for a bunfight!

Momagain1 How can a reclined seat be barely upright for the sitter and yet take a quarter of the space from the person behind? It doesn't make sense, and regaining that space is easy - just recline your own seat.

OK then...putting my legs up over the person next to me on a bus...not illegal....but a bit uncomfortable for the other person....But hey ho, I'm comfy.
Are you numpties getting it yet?

Er no. Because there are signs on buses asking you not to put your feet on the seats. Plane seats are designed so that if everyone reclines, everyone has the same space - no one is put out, except the martyrs that insist everyone should remain upright and not sleep.

*I've paid for a ticket on a plane - why is it my responsibility to ensure the personal preferences of the person behind me?

Because other people's comfort is more important than your money.
And because thinking that your money trumps other people's comfort makes you a dick.*

Right so now I'm a dick (nice personal attack by the way SorchaN - it really supports your argument) because I won't make put myself in the position of being unable to sleep bolt upright just because the person behind me refuses to use the reclining facility that they also have, and wants to impose their preferences on me?

What about the people in the back row? They usually don't recline at all, do they?
Yes they do - I've sat in the last row loads - there is space there to recline - its how planes are designed - so that EVERYONE can recline and have the same space.

All seats on planes recline. Everyone has the same space. Just because you choose to sit bolt upright and don't utilise your allocated space, it doesn't make those of us that do, entitled or selfish. we're simply using the plane in the way it is designed to be used. I'd suggest that its more selfish not to use the space you have and also to insist that everyone else follows your personal preferences.

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 15:40

SorchaN I am perfectly aware that I am not the only person in the world with a disability or medical condition. If you were kneeing me in the back I'd swap seats with DH.

shovetheholly · 05/06/2015 15:43

microferret - I agree with you about the environmental impact. In my last job, I had no choice and it was one reason for giving it up.

However, I disagree that you don't need to feel guilty about reclining when the selfishness of the flight is so much greater. I believe that there is a more powerful opposing argument: that it is only by caring for others, by understanding the impact of our individual behaviour on them, by empathizing, and by not insisting on our individual right to do x, y, and z if it causes others pain that we will be able to meet the challenges that lie ahead. And that's so much about the little things as well as the big things - if we all avoided using cars whenever it wasn't strictly necessary, we could make a huge difference together.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/06/2015 15:44

There might be etiquette. In that that is what most people would LIKE to happen. But, as this thread clearly demonstrates, it is very very often not observed,

wanttobesupermum As for it being "stupid" to buzz the stewardess for a drink - wtaf? Maybe the person next to them is asleep and they don't want to disturb them. Maybe they are (rightly) concerned about dehydration

And it is not "stupid" either to walk the aisles.

Just because it's not what you want to do, doesn't make it "stupid"

Weebirdie · 05/06/2015 15:44

All seats on planes recline.

No they dont.

I flew from Glasgow to London last summer with my grandchildren and our seats in the back row of the aircraft didnt recline as they were right up against the wall off the loo.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/06/2015 15:45

sunshineandshadows "All seats on planes recline" - no they don'. many short haul flights in Europe have fixed seats

BitOutOfPractice · 05/06/2015 15:46

x-post with weebirdie