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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reclining aeroplane seats?

260 replies

MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 08:00

Flew to Spain yesterday with DS who had to sit on my lap. We were the row behind extra leg room.

Woman in front tried to recline her seat but there was literally no room for her to do so. We couldn't even put the tray down when her seat was fully upright as he had to sit on my knee.

She then ranted like a mad woman to her husband about "inconsiderate parents" I'd like to point out DS slept for most of the journey.

So AIBU to think on a 3 hour flight with a toddler on a parents knee behind you, you don't really need to recline your seat?

OP posts:
eurochick · 05/06/2015 09:00

Take a look around next time you fly then. It's a pattern I have observed over many years of flying.

In my experience it is usually only on charter flights where I assume there are many infrequent flyers that these reclining issues come up.

SoupDragon · 05/06/2015 09:01

TBH, I wonder why children are allowed to sit on a parent's lap past the age of one. They are usually far too big for it to be comfortable for anyone by then.

Anyway, the woman was being unreasonable and rude. I guess she may not have realised under 2s don't have their own seat and thus thought you were just being selfish having him on your lap.

19lottie82 · 05/06/2015 09:12

TTWK eurochick is right, there is an established etiquette.

"Decorum suggests dignity and a sense of what is becoming or appropriate for a person of good breeding"

It basically means what is considered good manners, not a hard and fast enforceable rule.

If no one in your office has ever heard of the etiquette re reclining on flights, then I am absolutely and completely astounded.

CarriesBucketOfBlood · 05/06/2015 09:13

eurochick I am also a frequent flyer, just booked my tenth flight of the year, and I have also never observed any unspoken etiquette about reclining. Where I fly to and from you recline if you want to, and if you don't want anyone reclining onto you then you pay to upgrade!

SueBigFatSue · 05/06/2015 09:20

Oh FGS, OP paying for her toddler to have a seat on the plane wouldn't have resolved this problem - she'd have ended up with an arse of a woman reclining into her space instead of a sleeping toddler on her lap. I know which I'd prefer. (Hint: more money + a sleeping toddler)

grumpyoldlady · 05/06/2015 09:23

YANBU! We recently flew to the canaries. Straight after the seatbelt lights went out, the young mum in front sort of poked her head between the seats and said..Hi, I'm going to recline. OK you might say, at least she warned us, but in doing so, her 5 year old daughter heard her, and immediately said 'Mummy I want to recline too' which she of course obliged Hmm
Thinking that I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot, in case they were in the same hotel as us, we just tried to ignore it, until about 3 hours in, when I had finally had enough and politely asked if they would mind going upright.
All good, fab holiday, forgot all about uncomfy fight...until we boarded to come home and found them in the same seats! Lights out, and both seats zipped back immediately, and for the duration of the flight! Sad

SoupDragon · 05/06/2015 09:26

"Oh FGS" of course it would, on account of there not being a toddler shoved up against the seat. Ranty Woman would not have had anything to rant about, OP would not have had a problem with the seat tray.

I've flown many times, both long and short haul, with a child on my lap and also in a free spare seat next to me on a flight that wasn't full. I definitely know which I would prefer!

BringMeTea · 05/06/2015 09:29

YANBU. A reclining v non-reclining thread... Happy sigh.

KidLorneRoll · 05/06/2015 09:50

Oh ffs.... established etiquette my arse.

Just sodding ask the person behind you if they mind you reclining. If they do mind - and for tall people it can be uncomfortable - then just don't do it. .5 degree of difference in the angle of a seat makes barely any difference anyway.

19lottie82 · 05/06/2015 09:54

Just sodding ask the person behind you if they mind you reclining. If they do mind - and for tall people it can be uncomfortable - then just don't do it.

but that is etiquette? rofl

it basically comes down to what is good manners and what isn't.

TTWK · 05/06/2015 09:54

I am also a frequent flyer, just booked my tenth flight of the year, and I have also never observed any unspoken etiquette about reclining. Where I fly to and from you recline if you want to, and if you don't want anyone reclining onto you then you pay to upgrade!

This is the correct answer. How anyone can think that someone who has paid for a seat that reclines is rude for reclining it is beyond my comprehension.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/06/2015 09:57

There is no "established etiquette" eurochick. It would be nice if everyone followed your "rules" but they don't. Because it's not "established etiquette"

I fly at least once a week (short and long haul) if that's of any relevance to my argument

angelos02 · 05/06/2015 09:57

Reclining is not a nice thing to do...unless it is a night-flight.

19lottie82 · 05/06/2015 09:59

There is no "established etiquette" eurochick. It would be nice if everyone followed your "rules" but they don't. Because it's not "established etiquette"

erm.... yes, there is? we're not saying everyone follows it, because they don't, but google "reclining etiquette" and see what you find.

CarriesBucketOfBlood · 05/06/2015 10:07

As far as i can fathom if you've paid for a seat with the capability to recline, then you are justified in bloody using it!

Original poster
MrsRaegan · 05/06/2015 10:10

Thomas Cook wouldn't let me buy a seat for him. Trust me it would have been the preferred option. For no other reason than having a particularly stocky tall toddler sat on my knee on a space barely designed for one didn't sound all that appealing.

OP posts:
FeijoaSundae · 05/06/2015 10:13

Reclining is not a nice thing to do...unless it is a night-flight.

Planes fly around the planet 24/7, 7 days a week.

Just because you're on a day time flight, doesn't mean the person in front of you is. They could well have come from the other side of the world, and it's night time for them.

There is NO established ettiquette. Anyone who flies regularly, short-, medium-, long- and ultra-long-haul knows this.

That being said, this women described in the OP is clearly a twat. Only a twat reclines on a three-hour flight when there are two people sitting behind them.

Want2bSupermum · 05/06/2015 10:16

Eurochick is correct. DH flies 3-4 times a week, mainly within the US and Canada but also to Europe and within Europe. Flights less than 4 hours you don't recline the seat, longer than that you can recline.

Nothing gets my goat more than having to put up with people who don't fly often when I'm travelling. I just flew back home for the bank holiday weekend and loved the night flight as they didn't mess about. As soon as we were up they served dinner and got the lights out. DD and I got almost 6 hours of sleep. As we were leaving the plane people were complaining about the flight. I was like dude if you flew more than once a year you would LOVE this flight. Sas is the worst airline for this. Everytime I've flown with them it's taken them just over 3 hours to dim the lights and people do stupid stuff like buzz the air stewards for drinks or walk the aisle to stretch their legs. These are the same darn people who then complain about jet lag.

CarriesBucketOfBlood · 05/06/2015 10:20

people do stupid stuff like buzz the air stewards for drinks or walk the aisle to stretch their legs God forbid people dare to get thirsty or want to protect their health with a 25 metre stroll!

FeijoaSundae · 05/06/2015 10:25

You just can't tell someone who's spent 100s and 100s of $£€, and is confined to half a square metre, and it's their night time, that they can't recline their seat because 'it's not ettiquette'. Grin

LadyPenny · 05/06/2015 10:30

I always manage to be seated behind a "recliner" it's bloody rude.

When I rule the world anyone reclining on a short haul flight will be shot Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 05/06/2015 10:30

I recline my seat if it reclines. I've got severe back problems and it's the most comfortable way for me to travel. I don't have it down when drinks and meals are served. We flew Jet2 once, I could hardly stand up when we landed.

People should think before they judge!

TwiggyHeart · 05/06/2015 10:30

If you have an under 2 in a seat they must travel in an approved car seat, the extra room taken by the seat often means the person in front can't recline anyway so the argument of paying for a seat makes no difference. YANBU, I only recline on long haul and always check with the person behind in case they are having a drink/snack.

crumpet · 05/06/2015 10:32

Don't get me started on the ladies who refused to let my daughter (10) recline on an 11 hour night flight and constantly kneed and banged her chair, even after the stewardess had words with them. Bullies.

Yes they were (much) larger ladies and I appreciate there is not much room, but their behaviour and attitude was appalling.

And yes I am still furious with them.

specialsubject · 05/06/2015 10:33

seats are made to recline. Sitting bolt upright can be very uncomfortable. Not reclining at takeoff, landing and meal time is for safety/courtesy reasons; at other times, suck it up.

if you want cheap flights, it won't be comfortable in economy. Learn to live with it or don't fly.