if you can't afford the children you have you shouldn't have more?

[Lady1nred]

was speaking to a couple I know today, both out of work and living on benifits. They have 3 children and they are very vocal about how awful it is that they barely get enough money to survive. It turn out that she is now pregnant with their 4th child! This was planned and they are delighted?! They use food banks and thir children have every gadget and toy known to man!

When I asked how on earth they will manage with another child she blatantly said the money they recieve will go up and that it is her right to have as many children as she likes?!!

I have 2DC, I would love a 3rd but we would struggle finNcislly so have made the decision not to. I believe benifits should be capped at 2 children, she obviously doesn't agree! If she can't afford to pay for the children she has why should I go without yet pay for hers through my taxes? AIBU?

[WorraLiberty]

ghosty that's why I want to swap him for a pack of fags

I'm just too selfish to buy more expensive alcohol for him.

[Alfieisnoisy]

Yes lots of posts about this very issue but if you are new you wouldn't know that.

YANBU in what you describe. Their money will go up but not by much as it's capped at £23 and they must be close to it with three children.

Quick question. ...how do the kids have all these gadgets if they are using food banks?

Secondly, most food banks have a cap of 2-3 visits in a year so don't know how they are getting any more referrals on top.

[WorraLiberty]

If so I'll pop the fags in the post. Was rather hoping for a nanny!

FFS Soncey why have a goat if you're going to 'farm him out' (see what I did there!) to a nanny to look after him?

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Not another let's pick on the poor threads please.
So if a women accidently falls pregnant she should abort her child because folk out there think it's only the rich who should "breed"
Also no one knows what the future holds do they.

[glasgowlass]

YW Fern
Ghosty I'm going to have to steal that photo! Love it!

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Ilive the OP clearly states it was a planned pg...

[ouryve]

It's rather hard to top that, ghosty :o

[SonceyD0g]

Lol!
Nanny (goat) I'll keep looking
Anyone got a donkey?

[FernGullysWoollyPully]

Fucking hell Worra selfish goat neglecter! Get the poor kid his cider!

[MagicMojito]

I think that you are right that ideally people should only have the children that they can afford. However sometimes peoples circumstances are not ideal. Unless you want to force abortion onto women who can't afford their babies just be extremely grateful that we have the benefit system that we do.

[Niloufes]

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost - thats not what the OP is saying though is it. its not pick on the poor, it is exasperation that the family think they can just go on with their way of life because the gov will provide. It is not morally right. If a mistake happened then that is slightly different ofcourse.

[ouryve]

me-e-e-eh

[WorraLiberty]

Go on then OP I'll bite....

It turn out that she is now pregnant with their 4th child! This was planned and they are delighted?! - It could well have been an accident and they're 'saving face' by claiming it was planned.

They use food banks and thir children have every gadget and toy known to man! - Nobody has every gadget and toy known to man. If these kids have a lot of toys, you don't know who bought them for them.

When I asked how on earth they will manage with another child she blatantly said the money they recieve will go up and that it is her right to have as many children as she likes?!! - This was probably a wind up, because you asked such a personal and nosey question.

I believe benifits should be capped at 2 children, she obviously doesn't agree! - Are you saying that once the kids have arrived in the world, they should live in extreme poverty because their parents don't provide for them? Or are you saying a 3rd baby should be taken from the parents at birth maybe?

Why do you spend time talking to these people if they wind you up so much?

[Kaekae]

I personally had kids when I could provide a good quality of life for them. I knew I didn't want to be stuck in a tower block living off food banks.

[MistressMerryWeather]

I think the OP needs to answer Alfie's question about the food banks.

It always amazes me how much people about others financial situations.

[MistressMerryWeather]

It always amazes me how much people know about others financial situations.

Opps.

[Feminine]

Sometimes life goes a bit wrong.
I know right?

[maroonedwithfour]

Oh dear op, its going to get ugly. I agree with you in theory. Lifes complicated.

[RedandYellow24]

Once the lower benefit caps cones in having an extra child will give u zero extra income if that makes you feel any better!

[knittingdad]

Yes, everyone should contribute as far as they are able.

Yes, it is annoying when people appear to be abusing a safety net.

No, we should not dismantle that safety net, punishing people who do contribute but have fallen on hard times for no fault of their own, just because of a few exceptional cases.

[imnotafeministbut]

AAhh, did you say "My bad" OP? You've just given me something else to hold against you!

[AnyoneForTennis]

If they both don't work is one disabled and the other their carer?

If not, they will be hassled by the jobcentre to find a job.... Times are changing and sitting on benefits is no longer a lifestyle choice. There are sanctions to ensure one is actively seeking work. I doubt they will be allowed to continually dodge work

The gadgets are probably from brighthouse!

[fiveacres]

I agree with Worra's post above.

However, I have found a lot of people who don't have much money coming in are open about it. I don't know why and of course this is anecdotal. But I was talking to a lady the other day who was telling me exactly how much she got in benefits and from her job quite openly and honestly, I think.

It does happen.

[ThisTimeIAmMagic]

In theory I agree with you OP. However it's not a popular view on MN and I get more annoyed at the stupid posts about goats and big tellies than I do about these threads.

[morelikeguidelines]

Am quite glad I am already eating popcorn!

Can someone tell me how the goat thing started as I have read it many times re benefits but missed the beginning!