if you can't afford the children you have you shouldn't have more?

[Lady1nred]

was speaking to a couple I know today, both out of work and living on benifits. They have 3 children and they are very vocal about how awful it is that they barely get enough money to survive. It turn out that she is now pregnant with their 4th child! This was planned and they are delighted?! They use food banks and thir children have every gadget and toy known to man!

When I asked how on earth they will manage with another child she blatantly said the money they recieve will go up and that it is her right to have as many children as she likes?!!

I have 2DC, I would love a 3rd but we would struggle finNcislly so have made the decision not to. I believe benifits should be capped at 2 children, she obviously doesn't agree! If she can't afford to pay for the children she has why should I go without yet pay for hers through my taxes? AIBU?

[BishopBrennansArse]

It's fine Fizzie. Stop being indignant because they're putting a stop to it - they're also destroying families with disabled members too who are completely reliant on help.

But as long as you get to feel all is right with the world that's ok.

Oh, and the 'goat' might be tedious, but nowhere near as tedious as threads like this are to families with disabled family members who are reliant on benefits then treated like scum.

[TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet]

@The5DayChicken

There's a possibility that dear Olivia has just started backtracking to see who's tried to frighten the OP.

No. no
Olivia has just started on the gin.

[Taja123]

I hear your but think maybe one day one if these children may be the surgeon saving my life in years to come after receiving an education and upbringing that my taxes helped pay for xx it's frustrating but one can only hope the cycle doesn't continue I suffer not the children

[BMW6]

Lady in Red I have 4 siblings. As posted earlier, Dad wouldn;t use a condom. I suppose it's lucky that there wasn;t more of us.........

[BMW6]

MrsDeVere
Exactly. Who was to blame for our crap childhoods? - Government? No. Our parents? Yes.
What I want is for parents to take resposibility for their children.

Not a "strop". More of a rage actually.

[The5DayChicken]

Good call on the gin Olivia

[ilovesooty]

No peace and love then

[BMW6]

oh I forgot to answer your question Mrs de Vere "what do I want"........

Parents to take responsibility. No-one else should.

[AldiQ7]

Hmmm, the concept of 'personal responsibility' does seem a little bit alien on mumsnet sometimes.

Having said that, people such as those described in the OP are not exactly living the life of Riley by any stretch of the imagination. They obviously aren't actually having more kids for 'the money', most of these people are piss poor. So there must be other reasons for them to continue to churn out children that they can't afford - lack of education, lack of any sense of personal responsibility because of the circumstances they were brought up in themselves, I don't know. But there isn't really any point in judging them, they are not 'bad' people, it's just part of a cycle that is very hard to break.

I know a woman (really I do!) who has just given birth to her eighth child by a fourth (dickhead) father. 3 of her kids have SN, and there are various behaviour issues, fairly chaotic home life etc. People are very judgmental of her and are just like 'stop having children woman, you can't look after the ones you have'. But the thing is, she was probably brought up in similar circumstances and thinks that is what is normal and I imagine her kids will go on to do similar.

I don't really know what the answer is, but as others have said, once the kids are here, they deserve to be looked after/paid for/educated as much as any other child.

[BMW6]

Well, in that case the children should be taken away from the irresponsible cunt parent.

[ghostspirit]

so its true you get a goat if your on benefits...is it true you also get free carpets if on benefits.

should only have children if can afford them. i wonder how many familys could afford their children at the time but cant now....

[usualsuspect333]

Taken away to where? Put into care?

[Oswin]

So BMW6 you would be fine with all the children of people who are on benefits being plunged into the same poverty you experienced as a child? That does not shine you in a nice light tbh.
There is no way on earth that the care system would cope.
There isn't enough foster homes as it is.
So children would go hungry.
Ahh that's ok better to teach them feckless parents some responsibility eh.

[AnyoneForTennis]

How would children go hungry?

[WinterOfOurDiscountTents15]

If we take all of the children away from all of the poor and a possibly feckless parents...what do we do with them? Thats gonna be a lot of kids, and not nearly enough places to put them. Which, btw, would cost a LOT more than the benefits paid to the parents. What's your plan for them?

[PtolemysNeedle]

Why do we have to accept that people will always have children they can't afford though?

I can understand why it happened in the past, but nowadays people have free access to a range of contraceptives, and the MAP, and they are a lot more informed about the alternative ways of life. It does just show selfishness and stupidity and those aren't things that our society should actively encourage.

[The5DayChicken]

You know putting the children into care is more expensive than increasing the amount of benefits a parent receives, right BMW? And that just because a child is born to an irresponsible pair of parents, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not in a loving home?

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

My friend has 12 children by 11 different fathers. After calculating her housing costs and utilities, she figured she needed another two to make a profit.

After some searching online, she identified a potential father. They met up, got on well, had sex...well we're still waiting to hear. But my friend is so hoping that THIS child could be the one that breaks even. If that happens, the sky's the limit!

[SurlyCue]

Well, in that case the children should be taken away from the irresponsible cunt parent.

To where? Are you offering to have them?

How would children go hungry?

Really? You cant think that one through by yourself?

[The5DayChicken]

Luis, the only question I have is who looked after the dozen children while she went looking for the donor for number 13?