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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the school mum who broke my sons phone to pay for it

127 replies

SparkzFly · 04/06/2015 10:27

Short story but I went to pick DS1 up from a play-date and took DS2 with me. When we got there they all had a run around before I gathered them both up and left. When we returned home, DS2 realised that he had left his mobile phone at the house so I sent her a text message to ask her to bring it to school the next day. When this day arrived, she said that there had been an accident. When she went to pick the phone up after my message, it slipped out of her hand and smashed on her patio floor and completely smashed the screen! Phone won't even work or tunr on and DS2 is gutted. She then said 'I have researched a couple of places on line and I have found somewhere locally that can fix it for £50. I can contribute £25 if you want'
I was, and still am quite shocked tbh. I expect her to pay the full amount, or at least offer to. I think offering to pay half is slightly presumptuous Strikethrough: or an utter pisstake. Most of the people I have spoken to agree. My partner says we can't ask her to pay for it all as it sounds cheeky but I think that's due to trying to avoid confrontation. To me, it's more the principal than the £25
AIBU

OP posts:
HamishBamish · 04/06/2015 10:54

Yes, of course she should pay for all of it. She broke it. I can't think of any reason she could give why she shouldn't.

Pipistrella · 04/06/2015 10:54

Why should she be responsible for the full amount? If your son had dropped in her house, would she still be responsible for the breakage?

No, but he didn't! She dropped it - accident or not, it was her fault.

ghostspirit · 04/06/2015 10:55

when i get my kids phones i take extra insurance out. so im covered if it gets dropped or put down the loo or something. my daughters phone was 100 pounds the excess for me is 20.00.

i would be happy with the 25 being offered. because i know people are really struggling money wise at the moment and 50.00 is alot and could mean friend struggles to put food on table. don't mean im right though just saying if it was me

Pipistrella · 04/06/2015 10:55

Also, Lumias do cost that much - my son's cracked (still worked) and local shop quoted us £50 or so. We got a new phone.

BarbarianMum · 04/06/2015 10:57

Yesterday my colleague left her phone on her desk. As we live close to each other she asked me to bring it home for her which I did. Had I accidently dropped it on the way, I'd have felt pretty gutted to have to pay for doing her a favour. Not sure how this is different. I think 50:50 is fair.

gamerchick · 04/06/2015 10:57

But Nokia lumnias aren't that expensive new... They're only about 80 quid and cheaper second hand. Surely it would be easier just to get another one?

BertrandRussell · 04/06/2015 10:58

But you wouldn't be playing for doing her a favour. You'd be paying for breaking her phone.

ItsTricky · 04/06/2015 10:59

If I dropped someone's phone I'd offer to pay, because I'd feel responsible.

But I don't think in this case it was necessarily the 'dropee's' fault.

If he hadn't left it at her house it wouldn't have happened, so I think the responsibility does lie with him.

How about if he'd left it on a park bench and someone picked it up and accidently dropped it before finding out whose it was and returning it, should they pay for the damage too?

Get the screen repaired and buy a case for it. If she offers to pay then take 50

Pensfriends · 04/06/2015 11:00

It might be more damaged than just a broken screen too. I broke the screen on mine (although it's a different phone) by dropping it and it would still turn on and operate ok. Id be worried that something inside was broken too. Might be easier and cheaper to just get another.

ItsTricky · 04/06/2015 11:00

*Take 50/50

riveravon23 · 04/06/2015 11:02

Not sure if it is me, but is it usual for a son young enough to have play dates to have an expensive phone (or any phone come to that). What age are we talking about? My children, and also numerous foster children, did not get a phone until senior school and then only the most basic so they could not go online or anything. ???

Hope it gets sorted to your satisfaction, OP.

fiveacres · 04/06/2015 11:03

I think she should offer to pay.

I don't understand the MN horror about young kids and expensive phones though - mine has an 'expensive phone' but it is just his dad's old one - he upgraded!

More sensible than buying a new one. All the children in my sons year 3 class have smartphones.

Original poster
SparkzFly · 04/06/2015 11:03

Thank you for your replies. I just needed some unbiased views so much appreciated to you all. A couple of things:
He is 10 so hopefully this will make him be a bit more careful in the future.
Regarding her offer, it was more the assumption than the money. If she had offered the £50 we would have told her we'd get it fixed and just asked her to contribute, I just found it quite cheeky that she could make that decision.

Anyway, we've phoned Carphone Warehouse and they said he can get a replacement for £50 so will do that instead. Think we'll probably just leave it at that and pay the difference

OP posts:
AnyoneForTennis · 04/06/2015 11:04

I've asked that too river and it was ds1 on the play date but ds2 (so younger!) phone

19lottie82 · 04/06/2015 11:04

But Nokia lumnias aren't that expensive new... They're only about 80 quid and cheaper second hand. Surely it would be easier just to get another one?

Some are cheap , but other models can go up to almost £400

SoupDragon · 04/06/2015 11:05

YABU to call it a "play date" when the children are old enough to have phones :o

If I were the other mother, I would have offered to pay to get it fixed.
However, if I were you, I would have refused any such offer.

Original poster
SparkzFly · 04/06/2015 11:07

Bold: HI SORRY I DIDNT WORD MY ORIGINAL POST CORRECTLY.
DS2, 5 YEARS OLD WAS ON A PLAY DATE
DS1, 10 YEARS OLD PHONE BROKE
APPOLOGIES

OP posts:
Alanna1 · 04/06/2015 11:07

It was an accident. Accidents happen. I think its nice of her to offer to pay half for you, especially if she is short of money, and nice of her to have investigated it for you, too. Children shouldn't have expensive things simply because this sort of thing happens. If she's a good friend and your kids have a good relationship I'd accept all of this graciously - it isn't worth falling out over. If it was much more then yes, you should claim on your insurance.

riveravon23 · 04/06/2015 11:15

More sensible than buying a new one. All the children in my sons year 3 class have smartphones.

Really??? Oh dear, then I am hopelessly out of date, or where I live is. I have a foster child in Year 3 atm, and not aware of anyone that age having one. None of the children I care for (or my own) have had a phone until senior school, though to be honest none of them have ever asked for one until then as none of their friends have had one either.

fiveacres · 04/06/2015 11:17

Just different places, isn't it? Smile I was just replying to point out having a smartphone and being young enough to be on a play date aren't mutually exclusive.

riveravon23 · 04/06/2015 11:18

HI SORRY I DIDNT WORD MY ORIGINAL POST CORRECTLY.DS2, 5 YEARS OLD WAS ON A PLAY DATE DS1, 10 YEARS OLD PHONE BROKE

That makes much more hence, OP - LOL (had visions of a child in nursery constantly texting their little friends!!)

BertrandRussell · 04/06/2015 11:18

ildren shouldn't have expensive things simply because this sort of thing happens."

Children shouldn't have expensive things because adults might drop them?Hmm

ceebie · 04/06/2015 11:18

If she had borrowed the phone or asked to use it and then broke it, then it would be 100% her responsibility.

But she never willingly took on responsibility for care of the phone - it was imposed on her. So on that basis, her offering 50% is very reasonable.

BarbarianMum · 04/06/2015 11:18

Don't worry riveravon it's obviously regional. Very few of my dc Y4 class have mobile's at all and def no smartphones. They start appearing in Y6 in the run up to secondary round here.

however · 04/06/2015 11:19

It was an accident, and your son shouldn't have left it there. No way would I expect her to pay.

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