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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That a 7 year old shouldn't be telling me to fuck myself.

43 replies

Roseforarose · 03/06/2015 22:10

I've been babysitting for my 11 yer old Dgd and because today was a nice day she's been playing out with the kids on the street. There's one particular girl age 7, I'll call her Anna, who often plays with them. Usually after 10 minutes or so she upsets the others one way or the other. Last week my Dgd came in crying saying this girl had said she was glad that my dgds grandad was dead. If she's not taunting like this she's either hitting or kicking.
Really she's too young to be playing with them but she just tags on. She's so angelic looking and when she wants to be can so nice.
Today Anna had her roller skates on and kicked one of the girls hard on the shin. I saw her do it so said "that's naughty, you shouldn't do that."
She went indoors, minutes later came out and told my Dgd "your nana can fuck herself" Shock.
What do you say to that? Tomorrow she'll be round knocking on the door like nothing's happened.

OP posts:
flora717 · 03/06/2015 22:14

Does DGD live near me? There's an angelic charmer who lives at the end of my road. She has a mouth that could shock a City financier! (Also 7). I'd like to blame her two older brothers. But she is far worse.

WhoisLucasHood · 03/06/2015 22:14

There's no way my DD would be playing with that girl, what vile behaviour.

cariadlet · 03/06/2015 22:17

I don't really have any advice, but didn't want to read and run. I know loads of older kids, and even some young ones, swear but I'm genuinely shocked that a 7 year old would come out with that.
She sounds very unpleasant generally, and I'm sure that the other children must be fed up of her behaviour.

Having said that, it does make me wonder what is going on at home. She must have heard that language somewhere and goodness knows what else she is seeing and hearing.

Original poster
Roseforarose · 03/06/2015 22:20

All the other kids are nice and they get on really well. This girl spoils it for them all the time. The thing is, the mother sits in the window watching everything but never checks her when she does wrong. She's making a massive rod for her own back with her attitude.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 03/06/2015 22:24

I'd be coming up with a fantastic activity for the GD and her other friends to be doing inside the house or backyard. When little madam comes knocking I would tell her she is not welcome to participate as her attitude and behaviour has meant she is not welcome inside the house. Let her tantrum on the other side of the closed door.

BitchBags · 03/06/2015 22:26

Shock what a little brat! I would tell you dgd to fight her nastiness with kindness. It sounds like she's doing it for a reaction so if she doesn't get a reaction she might stop

Original poster
Roseforarose · 03/06/2015 22:33

The other day I walked past her house, she was sat on the wall with a smaller boy. The way she stared at me, so defiant looking, like she was challenging me or something. I've never known a child like her.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/06/2015 22:38

Did you not go straight to her Mum and politely tell her what her DD said? Confused

She needs to know. For all you know she might be mortified.

Either way, she can't do anything about it if you don't tell her.

ashtrayheart · 03/06/2015 22:49

If she went indoors, moaned about you to whoever was in the house and came back with that, I would imagine the person she told said 'tell her to go fuck herself'. Poor kid.

Original poster
Roseforarose · 03/06/2015 22:54

Not this time, I have done before when she gave me the v sign, the mother asked her "had she done it" , Anna denied it, so the mother told me "her daughter doesn't tell lies". Tbh I think the mother put her up to it tonight, the way Anna rushed in the house when I told her off and then came out and said it to me. Where would she learn phrases like that? It's awful.

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 03/06/2015 23:07

I was working with nursery kid. There was a rather large person walking in the park nearby.

"Look at that fat bastard"

From the words of babes...What is happening at home?

Fatmomma99 · 03/06/2015 23:43

This poor child is getting it from home. And that's really sad. I hope it's picked up somewhere, but not approprite it's picked up from you if you've told mum and she's batted it away.

I agree with Midnite. Arrange a private activity and choose who is invited.

I feel for the kid, though. Sounds like she's been dealt a rough hand. {sad}

MidniteScribbler · 03/06/2015 23:55

My first thought when I read your post was also that she was repeating something her mother told her. "X's gran told me I couldn't do whatever I wanted" "Tell her to go fuck herself". Child repeats it.

Aside from what I posted earlier, everytime she shows up I would be marching her back to her mother and telling her that whilst she may not care about her daughter's behaviour, you care about your DGD, and Anna is not welcome until she learns to control her manners and behave herself, speak properly and not hurt others. Her mother is using you and the other girls as babysitters and she needs to learn that that particular train has left the station. You are under no obligation to have this girl at your house, and your DGD and her friends also need to understand that they are under no obligation to play with her and that if they want to come back to your house and get away from her that you will not make them play with her. Being excluded when she is behaving badly is the only way that this little madam is going to learn, because she is certainly not learning at home.

MrsNextDoor · 04/06/2015 00:02

How awful. Funnily enough I saw today, a little boy of about 8 who I often see around on his scooter. He's small and handsome...he's got red hair and is just gorgeous to look at...he often smiles at me. As I passed him, an older girl of about 15 also passed him and he said "You're a fat dog-face" to her!

Shock

She said "No Im not!" and he said "Yes! Yes you are!" and I was just outraged at his rudeness and shocked too.

TwinkieTwinkle · 04/06/2015 00:08

Personally I would be going up to the mother and saying very loudly in front of anyone around 'I really don't appreciate your daughter telling me to go fuck myself. You might use that language at home but it's not acceptable in public, around other children.'

Soduthen116 · 04/06/2015 00:12

Think midnite puts it best. Spot on.

Happfeet2911 · 04/06/2015 00:16

Poor child my arse, needs a fucking slap! If any one of my children had said that they would have suffered the same, vile brat!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/06/2015 00:37

My Goodness all that from a 7 year old. At that age I blame the parents.
When they're teenagers there's only so much you can do but 7. Ffs. That's a baby.
Imagine what she'll be like at 17 but then who knows she might mutate into a model teenager, sometimes children

FatSwan · 04/06/2015 00:43

I think Midnite has it. That is horrible. And ballsy from a 7yo to say to older children!

mrstweefromtweesville · 04/06/2015 01:04

As I walked down the road the other day, a girl of about 8 looked at me and yelled "Plastic tits!"

They're not, they're my own. Mostly. I do have a rather effective t-shirt bra from Asda.

Children seem to say anything they like nowadays.

OP, I wouldn't take it up with the mother. Anna is getting it from her. Just avoid.

GrouchEnd · 04/06/2015 01:17

It isn't really the swearing that I take issue with (fairly liberal when it comes to language tbh) , but the fact she seems like an aggressive, nasty cow. Even though she's 'angelic' and only 7 years old, I bet you felt like giving her a right slap.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/06/2015 08:01

but the fact she seems like an aggressive, nasty cow

Is she?

Or is she a product of her parents?

undoubtedly · 04/06/2015 08:05

Either way she doesn't sound like the sort of kid you want to be encouraging friendships with.

Avoid like the plague.

theroundball · 04/06/2015 08:05

"Poor child my arse, needs a fucking slap! If any one of my children had said that they would have suffered the same, vile brat!"

That's not going to go down well at all on here.

I totally agree with it Happfeet2911, but it won't go down well.

theroundball · 04/06/2015 08:07

Oh, and what do I say to the kid Roseforarose? To keep away from my children and not ever knock on my door again.