to write something that could be seen as a bit bitchy in the leaving card for someone that's been aggressive, a bully, unhelpful and unpleasant

[pettywitchinlondon]

That really. The card is on my desk as I was last today, couldn't think if I should write "bye! The office will be a different place without you :)" or just leave it?

Anybody got a better one?

When my horrible, horrible boss left three people just wrote 'Goodbye' and signed their names like on a formal letter

I'd like to say how much you'll be missed!

pettywitchinlondon

(But I can't, because you won't be )

How about......

Good riddance
x x

It is short, snappy and honest,
the little kisses and wink just flavour it with gleeful heartfelt meaning

Not really on point, but this email seems apposite. dailyoftheday.com/the-greatest-office-farewell-ever/

I live in hope that a mumsnetter tries it some day and starts a thread.

CRYING laughing. These are all brilliant. Love them all, esp the lumpy tippex!

And love how posters get FLAMED: ....Ohhh, quite PA, you really need to say "XXX" [saying it like it is]. But in situations like this, PA works BRILLIANTLY.

How about "I'm sure you know how much you'll be missed, Prettywitch x"

I love how PA a "x" at the end can be!

x

"Your new boss will be very lucky to get you to work for her" DH has actually used this in references.

Or copy something in (e.g.) Taiwanese and say 'this apparently wishes you good luck but I wouldn't trust the handwriting enough if you were thinking of getting a tattoo'.

Why be subtle?
'Dear Asshole, I here your leaving, here's my autograph. Your welcome!
Regards
Lois'

I HEAR your leaving! Fgs!

Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
Witch

"Phew! x"

I was in the TA, when I went to Iraq, my office gave me a good luck card. Amidst dozens of kind and funny messages One unpleasant colleague had written in it "I hope you're a good soldier, otherwise you might die." The rest of my colleagues were mortified, but didn't have time to organise a replacement card. I binned the card. Years later, when she retired, I merely declined to sign her card.

I once went to a farewell bash on a Friday and a Thank Fuck She's Gone bash on the Monday!

What about writing 'yes!!!' Or 'woohoo' and crossing it out, still leaving it visible?

Just write 'Steve who?' Then sign your name underneath. Or don't.

(replace Steve with actual name of departing colleague)

I have done this a couple of times. Much hilarity ensued.

You could do what two girls did in a piece of artwork for the school magazine when I was at school. They hid the words "fuck "headteachers initials"" in some very ornate swirls round the outside. It got printed.

I think you can tell if people like you or not by if they put a personal point in about you. The simple congrats or good luck show they didn't really know you, or maybe if they did know you they just don't like the person.

Don't sign it.

Love it Suffolk

Primafacie I can't read the email because I can't make it big enough on my phone.

"Get well soon".

How bout something like
"I wish i could say it has been a pleasure" add some "lols" at the end.

Either that or just don't sign it.

"Sorry isn't the word".

I could say i will miss you but my mother taught me not to lie. Bye

See ya! (Wouldn't wanna be ya).