to write something that could be seen as a bit bitchy in the leaving card for someone that's been aggressive, a bully, unhelpful and unpleasant

[pettywitchinlondon]

That really. The card is on my desk as I was last today, couldn't think if I should write "bye! The office will be a different place without you :)" or just leave it?

Anybody got a better one?

How about "I wish you the success you deserve in the future?"

don't sign it, just don't. it says far more.

Loads of people sign off emails to me with kind regards, should I be worried?

I think what you wrote in your OP is perfect.

I once wrote Goodbye and good luck. I though that was suitably PA

"Best wishes to your new colleagues"?

I put something like "good luck in your new job. I won't miss your mood swings." in a card once. He was so moody and unpleasant to be around, it was a real relief when he was gone. I know it may seem petty but small things like that can help make up for months or years of having to be around arseholes.

How about 'so happy to hear about your new job'

I hope you get what you deserve in the future.

With a PA smiley face.

Happy Birthday!
Kind Regards,
Pettywitch

The boss of a company I worked for put congrats on your retirement in the card of an employee who had been made redundant He did it by mistake but I didn't take any chances and stuck a sticker over it with superglue

Husbanddoestheironing's suggestion totally nails it!

"Best wishes to your new colleagues"? ROFL!!
brilliant!!

Think Merrylegs has it spot on

Spell their name slightly wrong? My MIL does this (puts an i rather than an e) and I always wonder if it's deliberate to piss me off. Which it does.

Hahahahahahaha saucyjack

'So happy to hear about your new job' is just perfect! I should write that down somewhere just in case I need it in the future.

I remember when a member of my team was leaving (nice guy, not widely known in the company but liked by those who had worked with him, lets call him A) at the same time as B from another department (total tosser, lazy and always trying to pass the blame onto others). A's card was full of nice comments and he had a fairly healthy collection, the poor guy in charge of B's card and collection was tearing his hair out because only about 10 people (out of nearly 200) signed the card and the collection was £1.37, some Danish kroner and a button.

Either your suggestion or Stealth s. Made me laugh. Out loud.

Take it to the loo and wipe your arse with it

I was in charge of the collection for a hated staff member many years ago - card hidden in larger brown envelope.

I came in one morning and went to my desk drawer (where I had hidden card) and it was all lumpy. Someone had placed a lemon in the envelope with the words 'suck on this' written in black thick felt pen.

Made me laugh as she was viler than vile.

Why not just put your car over a few feet of their driveway? Seemed to have the desired effect yesterday........

Hasta la vista, baby!

Write 'happy birthday' in it! Shows you don't care about who or what he card is for !

Omg I love these!

I'm either just going to write name large, happy birthday or get his name wrong.

I want to do all three

Some clever n funny comments here but, if I were u OP, I wouldn't lower urself to ur colleague's level, just leave it blank.