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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take medicine DH doesn't want me to?

127 replies

AllergictoSummer · 02/06/2015 07:05

Quickly a I have to go out in 5 mins.

Have hay fever, constant dripping nose, wanting to scratch out eyes, itchy throat. Mentioned to d.h that as no longer pg/be can get hay fever medicine again. He said he didn't want me to as it makes me sleepy (not sure it is true, although it does have an effect on sex). I have four tablets left (out of date, from last year). I called yesterday to ask if I can just pick up a prescription and there is one waiting for me.

DH believes it is all a fuss over nothing. Hay fever is an outlook on life, if I just exposed myself more to the pollen etc then my body would get used it it.

Also have to pay for medicines where I am.

Aibu to pick up the prescription and get myself some drugs?

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 02/06/2015 09:29

i suffer from it really badly, mostly streaming eyes - I find putting on glasses works and stops it bothering me - much more effective than any medicine I have ever taken.

as for OTC medicines compared to prescribed medicine - I always got whatever OTC medicine had the active ingredient in it given to me from pharmacy. I now just buy it over counter as its much much cheaper than a prescription. from memory there are only 2 different active ingredients which treat hayfever - cetirizine and loratadine - loratadine is the only one which makes any difference to me but even then its not as effective as putting on glasses (I have glasses with clear glass in them)

MagicMojito · 02/06/2015 10:22

He could have killed your DD ShockShock
What an absolute prick your "d" h is Angry

Original poster
AllergictoSummer · 02/06/2015 10:28

Re the nuts... She would get red around the mouth (where she smeared the chocolate/pie/whatever) and some small blisters. Also complained that her tongue itched. We spoke the paediatrician and he said it wasn't necessary to cut it out altogether. He wouldn't test for allergies because she was under three and things can change so much and the test isn't so accurate. I said then that I would make sure she didn't eat any and he told us that in some countries that is the advice, but in others it is to give small doses and keep an eye on it.

I was advised not to take a nasal spray, I used to have flixonase(?) and a different one before that. Then they changed the age recommendations and said it wasn't suitable for use in children /long term because of the damage it can cause to the lining of the nose. And as I'd been using one for so long I was advised not to take them any more. I use Vaseline now and it usually helps.

Cetirizine is awful stuff and I react badly to it (drowsy, in a state of unreality) and DH has seen me on it so I wonder if that was that he was thinking of. I picked up the prescription, it's desloratadinum and is definitely not available otc. I used to take it constantly, but now since the DC when I wasn't allowed anything (and weirdly, it wasn't so bad when I was pregnant) I just try and take it when it really gets too much.

OP posts:
Booboostoo · 02/06/2015 10:38

Kick him really hard in the testicles and tell him the pain is all in his mind.

CocktailQueen · 02/06/2015 10:42

Why does hayfever medicine have an effect on sex? Maybe your h's attitude and behaviour have an effect on sex instead ;-)

There are loads of non-drowsy antihistamines out there. Or you cold try an allergy reliever - www.lloydspharmacy.com/en/allergy-reliever-15677?gclid=CjwKEAjwqLWrBRC-_OaG-IfL0kASJAAbzKsV4iPL-eY6Pk00I_wx25U9AB0gSgOpMxCd7nKXH5SnrhoC_Arw_wcB - which works v well for me.

mummytime · 02/06/2015 10:44

I don't know where you are - but your medical professional sounds dangerous.
A normal GP or Paediatrician is not an allergy specialist - most would err on the side of caution and say don't expose to the potential allergen until you've been referred to a specialist. If the specialist decides to re-introduce it will be in a carefully controlled environment, where they have the right equipment and drugs to deal with any life threatening reaction.
In the UK most GP's would probably prescribe an epi-pen "just in case".

I have known people die from anaphylactic shock - it is not a risk I would be prepared to take with such symptoms.

iHAVEtogetoutofhere · 02/06/2015 10:54

^^ what mummytime says about an allergy specialist.

You need some proper advice on this.

Don't let your H near her with nuts, frankly.

You should take the meds you need.

His 'need' for you to be 'with it' for sex can go hang, frankly!

redshoeblueshoe · 02/06/2015 11:05

Ah so your husband is just concerned for you. Well that's OK then.

CornChips · 02/06/2015 11:13

My DS was tested for allergies after a reaction at 11 months. Red around mouth, and hives. He has been under the care of a dedicated allergy team since then and has epipens at all times. I agree the allergy advice you were given sounds totally against my experience.

BarbarianMum · 02/06/2015 11:13
contractor6 · 02/06/2015 11:25

Yanbu, currently pregnant and suffering,I'd want to slap someone who told me its just an outlook!

hellsbellsmelons · 02/06/2015 11:36

He is a complete asshole and could have killed your daughter. Seriously, why are you with this control freak

^^ THIS - WITH BELLS ON ^^^

00100001 · 02/06/2015 11:44

to be fair, someone who has done the exposure thing to their children.

MY friends DS used to react to tomatoes, so her mum just gave tiny bits of tomato and now she's fine.

mummytime · 02/06/2015 12:39

On the other hand tomato allergy can kill without eating any.

Sirzy · 02/06/2015 12:45

Exposing to an allergen in a controlled medical setting is one thing, to do it off your own back with no medical guidance to do so is down right stupid and could potentially kill.

popalot · 02/06/2015 13:08

What you are actually asking is: should I allow this man to tell me how to treat my own body? The answer is no. Should I allow this man to repeatedly expose my dd to an allergen? No. No. No.

He might argue that some dr.s suggest repeated low level exposure to known allergens to prevent allergies, but there is not a lot of scientific proof about that - it is a theory some have - and anyway they argue exposure is meant to happen before an allergy arises. In the case of pollen/tree allergies, repeated exposure as a child is known to cause hayfever, not prevent it. Once you have an allergy, this exposure method is madness. Because it can be fatal in the case of nuts. He has either totally lost his marbles or he is a control freak and it has nothing to do with allergies, just likes controlling you and your dd.

NerrSnerr · 02/06/2015 13:16

Ok. I'm finding it hard to find words here.

He has NO right to decide what medicines you do or don't take. Not ever.

The hazelnuts? Do you not see what could have happened? People die from anaphylaxis. That aside, it caused her pain and he still gave them to her? Where were you when he was causing your daughter to be in pain?

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/06/2015 13:19

Can you get a prescription for a one-a-day one and take it last thing at night? That's what DD does.

ouryve · 02/06/2015 13:20

It's your body.

Your DH can go fuck himself have a wank if he's that concerned that he's not going to get his end away. I can't work out how anyone can be in the mood with a dripping nose, anyhow.

IHateStampysVoice · 02/06/2015 13:21

You're husband is an uneducated arse when it comes to allergies. I hate him already.

ouryve · 02/06/2015 13:29

Cetirizine has that effect on me, Allergic. I slept for about 20 hours straight after taking some for an all over heat rash, once. I moved to loratadine, which didn't make me drowsy, but stopped last year after realising that the sore throat it gave me was worse than the hayfever symptoms, which it hardly touched, anyhow. Had to stop giving it to DS1, as well, as he coughed constantly, while taking it and still had bad symptoms. He can't take cetirizine, either - he goes into wild rages on it.

ouryve · 02/06/2015 13:33

Desloratidine is an isometrically pure version of loratadine, btw, and that can be obtained OTC and very cheaply - under £1 for a month's supply.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 02/06/2015 13:34

Fucking hell. As the mother of a little girl with multiple food allergies my blood just ran cold.

Why would he do that? Did you know he was doing it?

Original poster
AllergictoSummer · 02/06/2015 14:02

ouryve at least its not just me! I also get the sore throat when I take it constantly (which I know you are supposed to do, to build it up in your system) but it doesn't seem to affect me when I just take it sporadically. I wonder if he realises I took some on and off last year... I take it only to take the edge off the symptoms. I asked by brand name, that was maybe a mistake. The chemist wouldn't give it to me without prescription. I shall check if there are others I can get, thanks for pointing that out.

No i didn't realise he was doing it, until I saw her and asked what the hell he had given her - a plate of mixed nuts he then went out for the evening leaving me with a very grumpy child Since then he has only given her e.g. chocolate (with hazelnut paste) or easter eggs. The paediatrician is the head of the childrens' department and children A&E at the regional hospital so we have no real reason to doubt him.

OP posts:
OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 02/06/2015 14:09

Does he tend to have the final say over any other aspects of your life or is it just your medication he's decided he's the boss of?