Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take medicine DH doesn't want me to?

127 replies

AllergictoSummer · 02/06/2015 07:05

Quickly a I have to go out in 5 mins.

Have hay fever, constant dripping nose, wanting to scratch out eyes, itchy throat. Mentioned to d.h that as no longer pg/be can get hay fever medicine again. He said he didn't want me to as it makes me sleepy (not sure it is true, although it does have an effect on sex). I have four tablets left (out of date, from last year). I called yesterday to ask if I can just pick up a prescription and there is one waiting for me.

DH believes it is all a fuss over nothing. Hay fever is an outlook on life, if I just exposed myself more to the pollen etc then my body would get used it it.

Also have to pay for medicines where I am.

Aibu to pick up the prescription and get myself some drugs?

OP posts:
CornChips · 02/06/2015 08:00

I am just going to echo everyone and express my utter shock at feeding your DD nuts when she is allergic. I have a DS who has a nut and dairy allergy and we are under regular care and supervision at the allergy clinic. He could have killed your daughter, and she may still be allergic. I have been told that a nut allergy will not always have visible reactions upon exposure, AND SO TO NEVER GET COMPLACENT but when it hits, it HITS.

Sorry for yelling, but DEAR GOD your husband is an arrogant, foolish ARSE.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 02/06/2015 08:01

is he Dutch?

BitOutOfPractice · 02/06/2015 08:05

Why would he be Dutch hearts? Confused

NorahDentressangle · 02/06/2015 08:06

But why does it effect your sex life. Perhaps take fewer in the evening and more in the morning. Perhaps have sex in the morning.

I take otc cetirizine hydrochloride, it probably warns about drowsiness but I've not noticed it.

Speak to your doctor and ask for something less drowsifying.

poisonedbypen · 02/06/2015 08:09

there is no magic bullet about prescription vs OTC, the prescription ones are often newer & may be more effective & have fewer side effects but will eventually become OTC so I would check that the ones you have been prescribed definitely aren't available ITC (which ones are they?). I would second trying Flixonase (fluticasone proprionate), its great stuff - takes a few days to kick in, but shouldn't have any side effects as it works locally (like applying a cream) so doesn't get into the blood stream.

OhEmGeee · 02/06/2015 08:13

He did what to your DD? I'm gobsmacked! What if she'd had some anaphylactic reaction FFS! What an idiot.

It's entirely your decision what medication you take, if he's foolish enough to suffer and not take anything that's his decision but under no circumstances should he dictate this to anyone else, especially your child.

trice · 02/06/2015 08:15

I would not be alive without a shed load of daily hardcore prescription drugs. If my dh was anti doctor and anti medicine I don't think I would cope.

Does he have unusual views about other aspects of life? Conspiracy theories? Vaccinations? He sounds like a fruit loop.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 02/06/2015 08:19

Yabu. Your dh wants to keep you sick so he can have his sexual needs met. And yes, I agree with everyone who says he could have killed your dd.

I have a young relative who doesn't see her dad as he wont take her life threatening allergies seriously. He and his family deliberately fed her food which makes her ill - luckily only vomiting and stomach ache. Because they believe it's just an excuse to keep her from him. Of course, they didn't have to put up with the full aftermath of a crying and upset girl with terrible stomach cramps. The being sick was 'just something kids do'.

You have far bigger issues than whether or not you take medication against your husbands wishes. But it is down to you whether or not you act on what very definitely isn't normal.

CheeseToastie123 · 02/06/2015 08:19

Take the out of date ones to the chemist, ask if they have an OTC version. They often will. Your husband is a colossal twat. Sorry.

trice · 02/06/2015 08:20

My lovely neighbour is a Christian Scientist and tries praying first when she or her family are ill. She wouldnt take a paracetamol for example. But she doesn't inflict her religion on her husband and the kids go to the GP when they are ill just like everyone else's.

CandyLane · 02/06/2015 08:23

It's up to YOU not your DH.

I suffer with hayfever and it's not just a bit of a sniffle and it's definitely not an 'outlook on life' when I have it bad it feels like flu and makes me tired and even sometimes feel like I've got a bit of a fever.

Having said that I personally choose to not take medication because I find by the time it takes to work properly my body has adjusted anyway. But that's my decision, not DH's!

HolgerDanske · 02/06/2015 08:25

Agree this is not about hayfever now...

He seriously could have killed your daughter.

Rivercam · 02/06/2015 08:25

Take the medicine, but speak to doctor or pharmacist,a sit to see if there's one with different side effects that may suit you more.

OhEmGeee · 02/06/2015 08:35

Why are you even asking if yabu? What has it got to do wth your DH if you take this mediation or not? Answer: nothing.

Is he always this controlling? Did you do anything when he was feeding your DD nuts? If she was diabetic would he refuse her insulin? How far does this go? It's dangerous.

JemFinch · 02/06/2015 08:41

What a wanker.

And just get non drowsy medication - for your benefit, not his.

AuntieStella · 02/06/2015 08:42

If he had been simply concerned about the side effects, which you do appear to have, then I'd have said he had a point and you should go to the doctor to seek a different prescription. And indeed for the sake of your well-being, I think that would still be worth doing despite the additional cost.

But what you posted about him inflicting his views on your DD in a potentially dangerous way is a huge red flag.

AnyoneForTennis · 02/06/2015 08:45

Is it the money? He doesn't think you can afford it or something?

paxtecum · 02/06/2015 08:45

Hay fever is horrible.
I had it for years, but it disappeared when I cut out dairy products.
Summers are now lovely.

TheoriginalLEM · 02/06/2015 08:52

But why does it effect your sex life. Perhaps take fewer in the evening and more in the morning. Perhaps have sex in the morning.

I actually can't believe someone would offer this advice!!! really?????

OP - what is your medication called, it may well be available over the counter.

ARe you in another country? can you get away from this man - he nearly killed your child to prove a point. He may well have made her allergy worse with his actions.

TakeDeux · 02/06/2015 08:58

As a nut allergy sufferer, with an allergic child, I am aghast that your H did this to your daughter. I have symptoms for days after a reaction, and many people have worse reactions than I. Have you considered prick-test allergy testing? If she is allergic to anything else, she might not be so lucky next time her father decides he knows best, and better to be prepared?

A friend with very bad hay fever was completely cured by acupuncture. Doesn't work for everyone of course

RackofPeas · 02/06/2015 09:00

Good grief! Hayfever is an outlook on life?
I'm failing to see how my outlook on life makes my immune system over react the way it does! Its a good job you only have hay fever and not something more serious like athsma. I can just picture it - 'Don't worry dear, you don't need to take your meds, that tightness in your chest and wheezing is just your outlook on life. Think your way out of it! Dear? Dear? Why have your lips gone blue? Look, your just not trying hard enough!'

Take your medication, its your body and you have control over what goes into it. If he keeps inflicting his frankly crazy ideas on your child - you might have to take a long hard look at your relationship and think about the risk to your child.
Sorry, wish I could offer softer advice but what he did to your daughter was just horrific!

ProvisionallyAnxious · 02/06/2015 09:06

Bloody hell. YANBU and your (D?!)H is BVVVVU!

I'd second the advice r.e. a nasal spray - I have one that was prescribed, can't remember what it's called but because it gives you a direct hit so to speak it doesn't cause drowsiness.

That said - only bother asking about a spray if the pills cause YOU problems. You shouldn't change or stop taking your medication because of the supposed impact it has on anyone else. Hmm

flora717 · 02/06/2015 09:10

There was a study that showed some benefit in exposing children with allergies to the allergen (whilst still young and their immune systems were still developing). However, this was done in hospital with a range of adrenalin/ oxygen equipment & medical staff to hand. It was not 100% effective. Anyone trying to do that at home using a child as a guinea pig is playing god. Angry

CornChips · 02/06/2015 09:13

Indeed flora. My DS is meant to do such a test, but his 6-monthly skin prick tests have shown it would be too dangerous to attempt yet.

I am utterly speechless at the OP's husband. He could very easily have killed the DD... and may indeed even do so if he tries any more stupid experiments.

HayFeverHell · 02/06/2015 09:27

I agree with every other poster.

I wouldn't have sex with him when I was suffering from hay fever. (Frankly, I'd be pretty turned off altogether by someone who is so selfish and uncaring.)

I sleep with a HEPA airfilter. It helps a bit. I have had two years of allergy shots and I am a little better. I have one more year to go. Fingers crossed that it works.