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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to kill my dh !

108 replies

ginorwine · 01/06/2015 20:13

Sometimes I think he's great . Good provider. Calm . Kind .
Other times I just can't bear hearing him breathe ! Feel like can't abide . Hate sharing same bed.
Is this b u or normal ?!!

OP posts:
Breadandwine · 02/06/2015 01:50

Should have gone to bed, but, once I started, I had to read the whole thread.

As I'm reading, I can hear my wife upstairs, snoring for England! Grin

Luckily, I can generally manage to sleep right through.

Looking back at the rest of the thread, I think I'm a bit of a treasure, in comparison! Halo

However, I have to confess I have been known to leave the odd cupboard door/drawer open - my wife's pet hate! My record was 7, I think! Confused

ToriaPumpkin · 02/06/2015 04:36

Snoring, inappropriate breathing, leaving clothes lying around, opening the dishwasher "to air" but not unloading it, walking past the laundry basket full of clean clothes at the bottom of the stairs on his way up (managed this four times yesterday morning before work), asking where things are that he didn't bother to put away (currently his house keys) and ridiculous sneezes all happen here too.

The thing I'll go to prison for though is commenting on things I've missed when tidying or cleaning which he then does himself. Last week he came to bed one night and told me I hadn't emptied the sink strainer so it had stuff in it and the water hadn't drained away (it was almost midnight and I had barely sat down since 7am whereas he'd spent all evening in front of the TV) when I pointed out that he's been known to do similar he called me petty. Readers, guess what job he didn't do last night after washing up three cups?

YokoUhOh · 02/06/2015 04:53

bernard sorry about your broken hand but that was really funny Grin

Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2015 08:01

Mine will fill a washing up bowl with hot water and bubbles, dump lots of plates and mugs in there and says he's "leaving them to soak" and they will still be there 5 hours later sitting in cold brown water.

He sweeps the kitchen floor (only when I ask) but leaves all the bits in a pile in the middle of the floor. I mean, why????

When he's in charge of DS all day he stores all the dirty nappies on top of the wall cabinet as apparently "It's easier to just take them to the wheelie bin all in one go at the end of the day."

I'm another one who prefers sleeping on my own!!!

He will put a load of washing on but will never take it out once it's done. Wet washing has sat in there for over 48 hours on one occasion.

His most commonly used expressions are, "I forgot" and "I'll do it later." It drives me mad because he ALWAYS forgets to do things and it NEVER gets done later either.

When he feeds the cats he never gets a fork to mush the food into a manageable pile within the bowl but instead just tips the can upside down causing the food to slide out in a perfectly formed cylindrical tower of meat which he then puts in front of the cats. As a result of this, all the cats can do is lick the jelly off the side of the tower as opposed to getting their mouth around a chunk of meat.

Men!!

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 02/06/2015 08:03

Whenever I read threads like these I start off laughing but by half way through page 2 I'm really irritated. What is wrong with some of these men?! Why don't they put dirty clothes in the laundry bin rather than dumped on the floor? Why do they leave cupboard doors open? I just don't get it.Confused

There are times when I feel really loved up with my BF and wonder what it would be like to live with him...then I read a thread like this, remind myself what it was like living with my ex, and think to myself how lovely it is to live alone.

RachieS1986 · 02/06/2015 08:51

dh manages to get his dirty washing on top of the lid on the laundry basket and leaves the larder cupboard door open every morning cause hes letting it air out!

ollieplimsoles · 02/06/2015 09:19

BathshebaDarkstone

Mine does the 3 shits a morning thing too Grin

He stands there after a shower and dries his whole body with my hair dryer, balls, ass, beard. Makes me piss myself watching it.

He stacks the dishes on the draining board in the most inappropriate manner, when you touch ONE thing, everything fucking crashes down...

AmberNectarine · 02/06/2015 09:38

Mine does the following unforgivable things:

  • Throws his laundry across the room to the laundry bin. Without fail he will miss and various items will go down the back of the fucking thing for retrieval by me at a later date. The other day I stood there picking up the items that missed and pelting them back at him but he still didn't get the point.
  • takes his socks off and leaves them on the sofa. WHY?
  • has sneezing fits. While I close my eyes and count to ten in my head.
  • insists on cuddling me as he falls asleep. Bad enough in and of itself but he does this weird jerky, jumpy, grabby thing sometimes as he falls asleep and it scares the shit out of me if I'm dozing.
  • pushes the rubbish down rather than change the bin. When I made him change the bin and the bag got stuck and split he had the audacity to complain. Maybe if you didn't try and cram seven months worth of waste into one 30L bin liner, it wouldn't be an issue, would it you dildo?

But the one that will land me in jail will be the back-of-the-throat noise he makes. Kind of like a cross between a sniff and a throat clear. Over and over again. When I scream obscenities mention it, he claims to be unaware he is doing it.

mariposa10 · 02/06/2015 09:53

Mine won't wear a watch, for some reason, can't remember why, and constantly asks me what the time is. Drives me up the wall.

paddypants13 · 02/06/2015 10:55

SonceyD0g yes yes to all of the above. And he was here last night...

We don't have dogs to escape but the toddler occassionally does...

I find clothes in the wheelie bin (in a bin bag, I'm not a total withch.) works for a week or so. And then he forgets what the laundry basket is for again...

Does he leave the dirty utensils and pots and pans hidden around the kitchen so you only see them the moment you've put the dishwasher on/ washed up?

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 02/06/2015 13:22

My DP is a saint compared with these - he cleans, cooks, puts his dirty clothes in the laundry bin, doesn't use every kitchen utensil when cooking (even washes up after himself). I can even mostly live with how he stacks the dishwasher.

Two things make me want to kill him.

He has the most appalling snoring, sounds like a chainsaw and can be heard through shut doors and over the TV. Last night he decided to cuddle up when we went to bed, which was lovely but he fell asleep first then was snoring in my ear!

The faffing before we leave the house to go anywhere whilst I'm stood ready to go. God knows what he is doing apart from the obligatory last minute wee but it drives me bloody mad.

Withershins · 02/06/2015 14:24

My husband never unballs his socks before they go in on the floor around the laundry basket.
He puts dirty crockery on the work surface above the empty dishwasher.
Everyday he comes home from work and proceeds to tell me how his day has been, bastard!

BadgersNadgers · 02/06/2015 14:44

He also takes agggeeeeessss to get to the point!!

Mine does this thing of stopping

midsentence for absolutely no reason at all. Drives me fucking mad.

Sanityseeker75 · 02/06/2015 14:49

Mine is a snorer and I am sure as sleep deprivation is a form of torture I am sure that 10 years later it is more stokholm syndrome than love Wink.

What really gets on my tits though isn't even the snoring its the hypocrisy. He farts loudly constantly, his jaw clicks when he eats and he breathes loudly and even has the audacity to mess loudly on his ipad whilst I am trying to watch tv but if I have a hot drink and take just one loud gulp he looks at me and that disapproving kind of that that makes me want to smash his smug face in.

MaliceInWonderland78 · 02/06/2015 14:59

I once asked a friend of mine how things were going with his wife (they've subsequntly divorced) and the following exchange took place (which still makes me chuckle):

Me: How's it going?

Him: Not great to be honest.

Me: Why what ahve you done now?

Him: The usual; conntinued to sustain my own life...........

EquinoxEclipse · 02/06/2015 19:40

This is a bloody brilliant thread Grin

I will be back with mine in a bit.

JessBear123 · 02/06/2015 19:58

Mine has "man flu" at the moment... give me strength.

JessBear123 · 02/06/2015 20:11

nope, no more strength. Just give me the handcuffs Angry

BelindaBear · 02/06/2015 21:28

My dh has this weird habit of sticking his bottom lip out massively when deep in thought.

helenahandbag · 02/06/2015 21:49

My DP is just so fucking noisy ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. He snores, he talks in his sleep, he huffs and puffs and slurps and chomps when he eats, he sings and whistles and plays 'drums' on his knees with his hands, he bangs around in the kitchen, he shouts at the TV when playing fifa... just shut up! SHUT UPPPP.

Angry
LexieSinclair · 02/06/2015 22:38

This thread is brilliant! I thought I was the only person who wanted to kill their DH. It was my guilty secret.

He clears his throat loudly, far too often and his raucous sneezes often make me leave the room out of sheer anger.

We had to buy a super king bed to save our marriage, because his night time shuffling and jabby elbows were just too much.
Now we don't even need to touch, lovely. Smile

ginorwine · 03/06/2015 22:47

Am so glad I started this thread ! V enjoyable !
Thanks for all your contributions - it the same up n down the country . !
Nothing like a good rant !
My pal and I regulary talk about this stuff of donesticity over wine and it does the world of good ! Ha ha .

OP posts:
ginorwine · 03/06/2015 22:51

PS .
Holding on to the passager seat door when I'm driving as if expecting the worse ! Argh ! Why - been driving for 30 years!
Asking me if we have any milk ? What the hell - you are stood next to the fridge .

OP posts:
AmberNectarine · 04/06/2015 07:30

ginorwine YES. My DH does the door-handle-death-grip thing. FFS.

Stinkersmum · 04/06/2015 07:37

Hovering around waiting for me to finish in the bathroom. When there are TWO OTHER BATHROOMS in our house he could use. Fucks me right off.