DM being U

[Fairy13]

DM exhausts me with her constant neediness.
Today she asked me no less than 10 times not to jump off the arm of the sofa. When I fell off and bumped my head, she had the audacity to tell me that i was the one being U!

She then utterly refused to remove the t shirt from my baby. She claims it was sewn on and impossible to remove but really? I'm convinced if she just applied herself better she would manage it.

Lists of other unreasonable actions include not letting me Hoover my own face, not letting me draw on the walls with liquid eyeliner I stole, and not letting me eat the earth in the garden.

The final straw came when she wanted a wee without me sat on her lap. I'm afraid this was the end for me and I flipped my shit.

Is it time to go NC?

YIKES - ANOTHER BIG LIE WARNING -
My cousin has just told me about this.

Have they told you yet "One day you will go to nursery"

This is a BIG FAT LIE.

So one day my cousin went to nursery - and - you are so not going to believe this - the very next day they made her go again !

Why do they get away with all these lies bastards

Things are getting worse!
Today, I was told in a very MEAN voice, that if I didn't put BOTH shoes on, then I would have to sit in the PRAM.
I also agree with the biscuits and chocolate comment. That happens here. But I have it sorted, I scream if anybody tries to share my strawberries.
And the final straw came last night. She put me to bed without a yoggit. She knows I LOVE yoggit. Just because I rested my eyes for a minute (or 10) in my eating chair.

I must recommend a a good word to shout...SEX.

I was walking in the supermarket and I saw the number sex on a sign so I shouted it very loud and DM kept saying "it's sex, sex the number sex not sex, sex" so I said "yeah...SEX!!" because every time I shouted it DF went red and told DM to make me stop. SEX! SEX! SEX!

What's so weird about the number after five and before seven?!

Thanks NK - I think I'll try that tonight one two three four five SEX

Wahoooo! Freedom! I'm staying with granny because I'm still not allowed to go to nursery following puke gate so I'm currently regaled with chocolate buttons, wotsits, squash galore and there is NOTHING that stupid woman can do about it!

My granny is the best. Mummy said I wasn't to have chocolate on account of my poorly tummy but granny just waved her off saying she'd raised 4 children just fine and to leave her to it! Don't know why mummy always has that funny pretend smile on whenever we see her, she seems perfect to me, she doesn't even make me say 'please' for every. Little. Thing. Like mummy!

Fairy - that's a result have a few of these - and remember you can still piss mummy off from a distance. Stay up late-ish but then have a really good lie in. You'll be refreshed to stay up all Friday night , and you Granny will tell her how wonderful you've been. Mummies do not like this

DM is so mean!!

I love horses. I saw 2 horses and a lovely bowtop caravan so I tried to get in the caravan...the lady inside laughed and said "are you running away with the gypsies?" so I said "yes". DM then swooped me up and apologised to the lady in the caravan...

WTF? The lady asked and I said yes! Why couldn't DM just leave me there...did I mention there were horses?

So I did 3 or 4 short sharp bursts of scream (to get everyone's attention) then threw myself around and hit my arm of the pushchair- why did DM let this happen? So I cried, I'm so badly done to.

My mummy is obsessed with my weight too, she takes me and that bloody red book to see a weird woman and strips me off before chucking me on the really cold scales. The shock makes me poo most times. I like seeing mummy get embarrassed.

Oh, she has a problem with me hiding food for later. Personally I think it's a good idea to fill my pockets, shoes and ears with bits of lunch in case I get hungry later. I also like to shove bits down the side of the chair incase she tries feeding me something crap later on. Im just demonstrating my survival skills but the silly woman throws it all in the bin! except when I hide something really really well and she only finds it when it starts to smell

anna she'll get bored of the weighing thing soon. I'm almost two and my mummy hardly ever makes me do that anymore. I like to think I had some part in this with the spectacular show I put on last time we went - I wanted to play with the dolly in the pram but mummy said it was time to go. The stupid woman with funny glasses tried to dupe me by telling me it was time for the baby to go to sleep now but duh, it's still light outside and if that baby's anything like me she won't nap... So I threw myself on the floor and when my mummy picked me up and took me out of the room I wriggled free and ran back to the room screaming. Everyone was looking and mummy went a great shade of pink.

I highly recommend it.

I hope my mummy gets bored with the weighing thing soon. I don't like it and try and escape but she keeps wrestling me back. Its the same with nappy changes. I happen to like to keep a bit of poo in there. I like the smell. I can't be doing with the whole bottom wiping.
By the way my mummys tablet is so broken it had to be sent back to Tesco to be fixed. Apparently it has a bad screen! Now I'm hoping to ruin daddys laptop too.
Daddy is pretty unreasonable. He thinks his laces should live in his shoes and not on the floor next to them. Silly man!
However it is mummy I am still most hacked off with as she keeps expecting me to try to walk. Why?? I like crawling or being carried. I'm nearly fifteen months old now and I think I'll keep things as they are and I cannot be bothered with all the walking faff. It looks slow and dangerous. Heigh ho, time to get older brother from preschool then. I have destroyed his jigsaw snake, dribbled on his drawings and chewed his Lightning McQueen toy car. Then I hid it under the sofa. Mummy saw me do it and just sighed. I am grinding her down at last.

I'm definitely thinking of ltb, she is so grumpy sometimes and such a killjoy, for goodness sake I'm 2!, I mean I don't think iabu but what do you think here is a list of things that have bothered me today

1. I couldn't get washed in the washing machine ( I mean it's CALLED A WASHING MACHINE fgs) 2)I was told off when I tried to wipe my poo on the dog 3)I wasn't allowed to eat the red wax crayon ( pft! I sneaked the blue one before she realised so smurf poo for me later hell yeah!) 4)I was pulled away when I went to lick my sisters wheelchair ( un hygienic she says, my sister is quite clean I says)
2. she laughed at me when I got stuck in the tinkle tub
3. ignored me when I gave my Oscar winning poor me cry including massive swoop on to the floor ( handy hint if you perform the swoop make sure you are gentle bwith your head but make a big bang with you hand instead, they panic a bit)

I'm the littlest of 6 ( don't known if this is relevant but don't want to drip feed)
Aibu or is mummy?

YANBU Foo

My (not so D)M is the meanest of mean- I have a mahusive tooth coming in at the back and I'm not keen on it at all so I very politely asked her to remove it and she said no!

Said I'd have to see the 'destists', basically a tooth doctor. I don't have a clue why one of these sackless adults can't just take the sodding tooth out themselves!!

Honestly, I'm surprised they can do anything for themselves tbh. Bloody 'destists', ridiculous name for a ridiculous job.

You will NEVER guess what that sick BITCH did to me today.

She took me, on the pretence of riding in a fun car, to see a terrifying man.
He came at me with sharp pointy things and now some of my hair isn't there anymore. The worst thing is, the voyuristic deranged excuse for a mother took PICTURES the whole way through!

I'm off to the stately homes thread.
This will traumatise me for life.

Oh no fairy mine did the same thing! And then....... She did it AGAIN! They lie that it's all done now then weeks later when you've just about forgiven them they pull that rug from under you, I mean can you trust her? Without trust there is nothing.

I'm actually going to do it. Tomorrow I will LTB and go on holiday with my daddy. Mummy can't come with us because of the baby in her tummy.

The best thing is mummy won't be there but daddy, Grandma and Granddad will be as well as lots of great aunts and uncles! I am going to be so spoilt.

They'll be no more nappy checking, fruit and veg eating or constantly denying me juice and fizzy drinks! The world is my oyster.

I just have to watch out for Grandma. Sometimes you can really tell where mummy got her mean streak.

Wish me luck!

Mine lets me feed the cat and give it treats, but only sometimes. The cat and I have discussed this, and we agree that I should be allowed to do those things any time I want to. DM complains that the cat is too fat, but if the cat doesn't care, why should DM?