DM being U

[Fairy13]

DM exhausts me with her constant neediness.
Today she asked me no less than 10 times not to jump off the arm of the sofa. When I fell off and bumped my head, she had the audacity to tell me that i was the one being U!

She then utterly refused to remove the t shirt from my baby. She claims it was sewn on and impossible to remove but really? I'm convinced if she just applied herself better she would manage it.

Lists of other unreasonable actions include not letting me Hoover my own face, not letting me draw on the walls with liquid eyeliner I stole, and not letting me eat the earth in the garden.

The final straw came when she wanted a wee without me sat on her lap. I'm afraid this was the end for me and I flipped my shit.

Is it time to go NC?

We went to the doctors this morning because I haven't been 100% and the doctor said "are you alright little one?" patronising bastard, I'm 2.5 NOT a baby.

Anyway, I was already irritated at DM for trying to put me in a pushchair- I don't know who she thinks she is. First it's "walk nicely like a big girl" then it's essentially "sit in the pushchair like a baby"- talk about mixed messages.

So I told the doctor I fell out my cot and bumped my head and cut my hand on Mummy's razor. That'll show the bitch. DM looked at me with her mouth wide open and I couldn't help but smirk! She was all panicky telling the doctor how if I climb on the cot I could bump my head and if I pick up the razor I could cut my hand...DM is obsessed with details.

I walked home

I think my DM is trying to gaslight me. Her lies just get worse until I question myself, frankly. Yesterday, there were some bees on flowers in the garden, but when I asked her to get them this morning, she said they'd gone away. I thought it was OK at the time but thinking about it, she clearly couldn't be bothered to fetch the bees.

Exactly the same story with an incey wincey spider in the park last week.

Also, there was a panda in a shop and, on reflection, I don't think it's true that the panda lived in the shop and didn't want to come home with us. I reckon we could have bought that panda. She's an idiot if she thinks I fall for this stuff.

You need to up the ante a bit. My niece when she was your age would show her displeasure by going into the hall and bashing her head repeatedly on the flagstone floor. This caused great distress and consternation to her parents but it doesn't seem to have caused any lasting damage

Also, she always tells me that we should go to the library/shops during the day, but when I decide I actually want to go (much) later on, she has the temerity to say they are SHUT!

The best time to go to places is when it's supposed to be time for bed. Surely DM should know that? Why does she insist that it is UR of me to demand outings at 7pm?

Don't even get me started on the cup situation. She has NO IDEA which of the 2 identical blue cups she bought from Tesco is the CORRECT cup...

I'm older than you guys, a tweenager but I tell you they don't get any better with age.
I told her I didn't want to go swimming tonight as my friends in a different group and she said, get this!
"Your going to learn to swim not have a social event!" Wtf?? She's lost it!

Then she said where is my Avon catalogue as she apparently hasn't looked at it yet? I mean why's she need it? She beyond help looks wise. I'm 9. My needs are greater than hers. Any way I stormed down stairs. That will show her

mad I'm really not trying to be ageist but aren't you a tad old to be on this thread

Ah but redshoeblueshoe, think how much we can learn from the older, wiser posters on here!

I interviewed for new a new mummy by observing in the park and supermarket. I was disappointed quite frankly. There seems to be a shortage of trainable adults.

My DM refused to let me eat the cat's food today. WTAF? She's always telling me to eat what's in front of me and the cat's food was in front of me!

You have a good point there paddy - and at least she's not in double figures

Just trying to tell you little kids that mums are cows what ever our age! They think we should know better by 10. HELLO!!!!!!!!

You all think you've got it bad with baby brothers and sisters? You don't know how lucky you are! I have never been an only child, my big brother has always been there. My bitch of a mother refuses to change it to make me the oldest and insists that I will never be older than (not d) b. I mean wtf is she even on? Clearly when he is 10 I will be 10 and when he is 15 I will be 20. FFS use your brain woman!!!

Also, today, there was a fly in the car. I hate flies so the stupid woman opened the window to let the fly out. I screamed louder because my balloon might've floated away. Mummy said it wouldn't fit through the tiny gap and also it was in the boot anyways but as shown above she has no common sense so WTF would I trust her? It's obvious she was trying to make the balloon blow away just to upset me.

Most annoying of all though is that she point blank refuses to move the shadows in my room. She says she cant and they won't hurt me but I know they are there to steal my soul during the night. That's why I wake up eleventy million times. Will she learn? Will she heck.

My mummy tried to put MATCHING socks on me today.
She should have known I like one blue stripey one and one pink with a picture on.
Then she made a face when I pooped in the new nappy. I mean, isn't a nappy meant for poop?
And she keeps talking about something called nursery. She says I will have fun there and play with other boys and girls. I wasn't convinced, but maybe some of them can help me deal with unreasonable mummy?
Or at least swap a sock, so I don't have to wear a pair!

You think you've got problems with matching socks!! My 'd'm tried putting me in big boy pants wtf !!! So I weed on the floor, that will show her.
Then at bed time she gets a nappy fir me and puts it on, talk about mixed messages, so I took it off and refused to lie down for another . Then spent the next hour shouting down the stairs I needed a wee it was funny watching her race up and down especially as I didn't really need to go try to potty train me , I'll teach her!

Today I asked my DM to play a game with me and every time she had a turn and didn't choose the move I wanted her to make she wouldn't change her move no matter how hard I screamed and cried. Then when it was my turn I couldn't make the move I had planned and so when she pointed out a different move I could make I could stop crying for 5 seconds but then she had her go again and AGAIN she would choose not to put her pieces where I wanted her to. We had to stop the game as I was crying so much. Obviously that means I won.

Yesterday she insisted that I had to stay at home and eat the supper my DF was cooking me instead of being allowed to walk with her in the pouring rain to fetch the car from the garage where it had been having its mot. I said I wasn't hungry. I said I don't mind getting wet. I explained that her abandoning me for 25 minutes in this cruel and heartless way was making me cry and was unacceptable. But apparently just because the garage was closing in 20 minutes and it would have taken more than 20 minutes to get there if I had come too that was some sort of bizarre justification.

Do you know I can't even remember what she did to make me so cross the day before yesterday - but it must have been REALLY unreasonable as I needed to slam the door 3 times to express how very wrong she was.

I'd probably best report to social services hadn't I?

I told my mum off properly today. In one of the stories she read to me someone told a naughty engine that if it didn't behave it would get no coal and it would starve. So when mummy misbehaved I said to her very sternly "You shall STARVE!" For some reason the silly woman started laughing her head off. I don't know why it didn't work, it did with the engine. I shall have to think of something else now.

Ooh. I like big boy pants. I stole a pair from my brother. Some days I like to wear them over my nappy. Other days I don't. Those are the days evil mummy tries to put my jeans back on in sainsburys. Has she no idea how hard it is to take jeans off, while I am walking and pulling the full trolley in all the directions to test its wheels?
I had a go at the potty training. I didn't want to get my pretty potty wet or smelly, so I stood next to it and weed on the grass.

Icimoi
I find "do it. Now. "
Seems to work on mother. But not on big brother. He laughs.
Although mother is getting a bit slow at picking my things up now. She has a collection of random excuses including (but not limited to) she needs a wee. She is eating her dinner. The porridge does need to be cooked before I can eat it. I was seriously cross yesterday, as she reused to put her pizza down and pass my phone. I would have phoned nanny to complain, but I couldn't get my phone. Nanny would have understood my complaint, even if I did speak with a whole slice of pizza wedged into my mouth.

Today my mummy had to pick me up from nursery because I was sick.
The stupid witch point blank refused to give me chocolate! She said it would hurt my tummy and to have a sandwich or banana if I was hungry. For Christ sake, surely she should know by now that I know better than her?! I tried to dance around the living room to show her how much I was feeling better but the lazy slattern had not tidied away my building blocks so I fell over and hurt myself. Don't worry though, because I hit her in the face, that'll learn her.

Then, just because I rubbed my eyes and yawned ONE TIME she had the audacity to put me cosy me down for my nap. She thinks she's soooo clever bringing the iggle piggle plinkety plonkety nightlight into the equation and stroking my face, but I'm better than her. What I like to do is pretend to drift off only to wake up and call her name as soon as she gets downstairs. If I make up come up and down enough times she will fall asleep before me! Muhahahaha

Fairy - I do the 3 time trick. I make sure she comes up 3 times then I have a really good nap so I can get up at 2, 3 and 4 am. It works a treat.

And what is it with sandwiches - I mean really.

I'm thinking of joining a union to get some decent terms and conditions.

Paddy - how's the interviewing going ?

Personally I think Daddys mum would do a better job, she always gives me chocolate, and even fizzy drinks. Why oh why do I get milk or water all the time. The only good thing about milk is spilling it - you have to do it where they can't see it - the back of the car is especially good for this.

YES! I've been lining up nanny for some time now. She gets in chocolate buttons especially for me! Nanny has her own issues though, mummy is definitely her mothers daughter. Nanny gets really cross when I try to ride on the dog and feed her my dummy when she isn't looking! It's so boring following their incessant rules 'gentle hands' 'kind hands' 'don't put your face in the dogs face'

Paddypants13 can I suggest as well as ”Mummy you hurt me" you can really increase the interest of bystanders by yelling ”don't hit me mummy!"
Those of us with Oscar standard acting can get away with slipping ”again" into that plea. But your timing must be impeccable

I just popped into DM's work and I saw some people were in eating so I was just about to help myself to a chip when I got dragged away. So I screamed and threw a handful of jelly tots at the fuckers. How rude?!

I haven't tried "don't hit me Mummy" but I can only recommend telling complete strangers "I cut my hand on Mummy's razor" and also "I fell out of my cot and bumped my head"...that keeps knocking the wind out of both DM and DF's sails.

I need some help. The older brother who I usually like has been tormenting me with a clothes peg. Mummy took it off him but now he is pretending his fingers are a clothes peg. I am not laughing! I am crying and mummy won't take his fingers away. She keeps telling him to play nice but he is not listening!
I want revenge upon him for the indignity of having a clothes peg put on my nose but I don't know what to do to him.
I still hate mummy though, she won't let me play with the glass recycling today but its sooo shiny! Think I'll go dribble in her tablet again, that always gets results.

The dribble is clearly having an effect......