DM being U

[Fairy13]

DM exhausts me with her constant neediness.
Today she asked me no less than 10 times not to jump off the arm of the sofa. When I fell off and bumped my head, she had the audacity to tell me that i was the one being U!

She then utterly refused to remove the t shirt from my baby. She claims it was sewn on and impossible to remove but really? I'm convinced if she just applied herself better she would manage it.

Lists of other unreasonable actions include not letting me Hoover my own face, not letting me draw on the walls with liquid eyeliner I stole, and not letting me eat the earth in the garden.

The final straw came when she wanted a wee without me sat on her lap. I'm afraid this was the end for me and I flipped my shit.

Is it time to go NC?

paddy what is it with these mummy's obsession with poo and nappies? Mine seems to change mine every few hours! And she's always asking 'have you done a poo'? Honestly, she's supposed to be the grown up, surely she knows what poo smells like by now?!

Today she told me off for feeding my crayons to the fish. For goodness sake, I was only trying to inject a bit of variety into their diet!

Apparently I'm also not allowed to swing the clothes drier above my head like a baseball bat.

Honestly, she's such a helicopter parent.

Anyone want to swap?!

I agree. My mummy would not buy me a toy when I really wanted one and so I yelled at her. Then I hit her but she still would not buy me one and said she was getting cross. Well, i was already cross so I come first. Then I jumped up and down and screamed and screamed and hit her some more. Then my Godfather supported me by commenting that mummy clearly did not know how to discipline me, so mummy got cross with him. Result!

That's it corn, divide and conquer.

I wish I knew what the problem is Fairy. My mummy also asks me constantly whether I've done a poo. She hasn't worked out that I will only tell her if she's just sat down to eat or there is nowhere to change me! (Treat them mean, keep them keen!)

She also tells me to shush when I announce in public that "mummy has done a mega poo!" You'd think she'd be grateful.

DF has a much better attitude to poo. He waits until the stink gets too much, it leaks or there's another adult around. Nice one daddy!

Mine is CHEATING on me! She keeps telling me she's going to have another kid this summer!

She makes me eat yucky food, when I KNOW we have Goldfish crackers in the kitchen. I can see the box!

Lately, she and "D"F have been on some sort of cleaning kick. Instead of letting me play with my toys in the playroom until bedtime, they're making me pick them up and put them in the toybox.

Last week after nursery, I wanted to go to the zoo. DM had a lame excuse- she said the zoo was closed. Have you ever heard anything that lame?

My stupid mum thinks that because I'm sat wriggling that I need a wee. I'm 4 years old and quite capable of deciding I need to go at the most inconvenient time. She also won't let me have anymore chocolate because I didn't eat all my lunch. Then she kicked up a fuss because I asked for an apple and only ate half. She also wouldn't let me go in the bingo hall today when we walked past because I'm "too young" . I can't wait for daddy to come home to tell him how unreasonable she is. Life is so unfair!!

My so-called 'DM' went ape when I knocked my drink on the rug at lunchtime and actually wanted me to pick the cup up and put it in the sink! Why couldn't she do that after she cleaned the mess up? Then she had the gall to switch My Little Pony off!!!! Seriously, WTF is wrong with this woman.

Anyway, I pushed her a few times just to let her know who's boss, folded my arms and gave her my cross-sed face. That'll learn her.

Corn -its funny how mummies all get the rage when people dare to question their parenting abilities.

And surely 5 lots of chocolate constitutes my 5 a day - the clue is in the name cocoa bean

OMG Geekymommy my mummy also keeps going on about the baby in her tummy!

She keeps using it as an excuse to stop me boinging on her tummy and telling me that now I'm a big girl I need to be an example to the baby! Ha, as if!

She'd better not try bringing any babies to live in this house. If she thinks I'm a stroppy madam now just wait...

paddy - you do need to be an example to the baby. Who else is going to teach it all the tricks - like how to play parents off against each other, and where is the best place to hide yucky food, and when its the best time to howl like a banshee

My mummy doesn't have a baby in her tummy, but she's still so precious about it. Gets really annoyed when I boing on it or lift her top up in public to show everyone!

My mummy wouldn't buy me the most wonderful pink thing.

I could see it on the counter in the garage and she started talking about fire blah blah... It was NOT on fire but my stupid Mummy kept moving my hands away from it...it was pink and shiny and so beautiful...If you'd have only seen it!

Everyone was smiling at me and I was sooo pissed off. I had to swipe furiously at the chewing gum stand (which then fell over, packets of chewing gum everywhere) just to get her to notice how angry I was then I arched my back screaming "no" repeatedly. Then she had the nerve to take the chewing gum out of my hand. Witch.

Mummy says her tablet is broken because of my obsession of throwing it on the floor. I just can't stand the sight of anything being left on the coffee table. It HAS to be thrown on the floor!
I like to make sure she has a nice crust of snot and dribble on her shoulder si everyone knows shes my mummy. Well, its taken me a year to train her into tolerable shape so I don't want anyone else undoing my hard work.
Yesterday I dropped some half chewed grape into daddys shoe and she laughed when he put his foot in it.

As someone older and wiser than you (2) what I can say works really well is to wait until your mummy is dressed really smart, listen out for key buzzwords, interview, wedding, meeting. Then, save up all the snot you can and, I can't stress this enough wait until she is just about to leave and make your mark.

Speaking of throwing things on the floor, apparently it's now illegal to throw my tomato on the floor and smoosh it into the rug. Neurotic bitch.

Redshoeblueshoe I never thought of that, you are a genius! If I teach baby my ways he/ she could become my minion to use at will. Twice the chaos.

If baby tries to win the grandparents over though I will put my foot down. They are mine!

I've found shouting "mummy you hurt me" whenever she tries to stop me playing in traffic or touching something works very well. I always get sympathetic looks from old ladies.

Not only does my "D"M give me yucky food, she gets mad if I throw it on the floor! How am I supposed to eat and watch my TV shows if there is yucky food on a plate near me? We must have the same stupid laws that you do, Fairy13.

She won't let me put my hand down her shirt or look at her belly at random times. She keeps saying "not in public".

I CLEARLY told her that I did NOT want to go to nursery today. She made me go anyway!

My dm seems to be stuck on the word no atm.. No I cant smush her dinner up, no I cant eat just jam on a spoon, no I'm not allowed to chase the cat...

We also went to go see granddaddy yesterday in a special place! It was awful! Mummy kept saying I had to wear a bib to stop me drooling on my suit! And granny wouldn't come near me because she didn't want sticky fingers on her white dress! Its not my fault it has sparkles all over it they needed to be pulled off!!

Then at the party afterwards,Mummy wouldn't let me have any of her drink in her special glass! But when she wasn't looking granddaddy gave me some of his! Result! He also let me have tastes from the cake after mummy said no!
I think I'm going to live with my grandad!

My mummy has the strange idea that I shouldn't pull her top down in public to show off her bra. Weird.

Also, she always tells me that we should go to the library/shops during the day, but when I decide I actually want to go (much) later on, she has the temerity to say they are SHUT!

Mine tells me not to eat leaves that I find outside. Then we go to the store, and what does she buy a big bag of? Leaves for dinner. And then she wonders why I say the food is yucky. At least she got bread that I can eat.

shush - I have found mummys its not very nice, maybe I just have to drink the whole bottle like she does oh I feel all funny now

My DM has the audacity to put my arms into sleeves! I mean, really, must this happen, I don't like being cold but I don't see why she thinks this makes a difference. I make sure I scream as if I am being murdered every time she does it.

And what is the obsession with trying to make me eat green stuff? It looks horrible, apart from grass and leaves I pick in the garden, that looks lovely but I am not allowed eat that.

So very unreasonable.

paddypants yes to being hurt. You must make sure there's lots of people about because it simply doesn't work when it's just the two of you. I quite like shouting "stop hurting me!" when the witch grabs my hand to cross the road. It doesn't hurt at all but I enjoy her being glared at

Mine is definitely the most U.

She has just presented me with a baby brother. Wtf? I never asked for one of them. All he does is cry and glue her to the sofa. Rubbish.

She wouldn't let me eat raspberries this morning. I don't like raspberries but thAts not the point. Those raspberries she was eating look different to the raspberries I don't like.

Cherry I'm sure we can think of lots of fun things to do to with your baby And your mummy needs more training - doesn't she know that food off her plate is always much tastier.

Gosh its such hard work - moulding these parents.

There are three different stores that mine takes me to to buy food. At one of them, I get a lollipop when we check out at the end (yay!). At the second, I get stickers when we check out. At the third one, I don't get a lollipop or stickers. Why do we even go to that one? DM says the third sells stuff that the others don't, but most of it isn't even stuff I like, so I don't care.