DM being U

[Fairy13]

DM exhausts me with her constant neediness.
Today she asked me no less than 10 times not to jump off the arm of the sofa. When I fell off and bumped my head, she had the audacity to tell me that i was the one being U!

She then utterly refused to remove the t shirt from my baby. She claims it was sewn on and impossible to remove but really? I'm convinced if she just applied herself better she would manage it.

Lists of other unreasonable actions include not letting me Hoover my own face, not letting me draw on the walls with liquid eyeliner I stole, and not letting me eat the earth in the garden.

The final straw came when she wanted a wee without me sat on her lap. I'm afraid this was the end for me and I flipped my shit.

Is it time to go NC?

Yes Rack you clearly did break her tablet

I'll have to think about revenge on your brother, does he have lego ? You could put it down the loo - (I like to put stuff down there)

I say hide his favourite toy in the bin. It's an oldie but a goodie.

Toy in the bin - genius I know mummy thinks it is rude to put on MN - how stupid are they. I bloody love Tis a sign of admiration and gratitude.

I pulled the ladder off his fire engine. Heh heh heh. I also dribbled all over that weird painty box thing he brought back from preschool. He says its a rocket. To me, its a legitimate target.

Mummy should have bought a better tablet and not a hudl the cheapskate.

Lego down the loo... I like that idea. Lego in his shoes as well?

Well so far I have pulled the ladder off his fire engine and dribbled all over the painty box thing he brought back from preschool he says is a rocket. I think its a legitimate target.

Lego down the loo? Yes I like that. Lego in his shoes? Oooo....

Many many apologies. It lost my post and then.... Good grief. I'm sorry and putting the tablet down now before it explodes.

Redshoeblueshoe- sorry for not replying. She only sent me to nursery today! FFS! To top it all off I dropped my imaginary ice cream in the car on the way home! I was apoplectic with rage and all the stupid woman could say was "it wasn't a real ice cream Paddypants". The woman has no idea! By the time we got home I had calmed down sufficiently to inform her that a chocolate biscuit would make me feel better. "D"M then informed me we haven't got any chocolate buiscuits and fobbed me off with fruit and yoghurts. To put the final nail in the coffin she didn't put the lid on my sippy cup properly and milk spilt all over me. I know that's the whole point of milk but I prefer to spill it on important paperwork or an adult. Sorry for the rant, I am very stressed and doubt I will calm down until well after my bed time.

Interviews not going well. I am considering the nice old lady who stood next to me while I had a paddy on the pavement yesterday. My so called mother just laughed and said she had another hour on her parking ticket so I could take my time. She is pure evil!

Rack - you have supreme powers I think you may have busted the internet you certainly fucked up your mummys tablet

My Mummy broke my Leap Pad. She was sitting in the kitchen while I was whacking it repeatedly with my toy hammer. The screen broke and I know she did it by the power of her mind. I made it very clear it was her fault the meanie.

Guys I learns that if you scream in pain for no reason dm comes running like an idiot!i even pushed a toy in her way and she fell over it! That will learn her for not sharing her lunch!
I did however forget daddy was there and did it in front of him , he told mummy though, traitor!

My mummy said I can't fly like the nice birds.

Bitch.

Mwahahahaha!

I've just got my revenge by instigating a dirty protest. I pooped in my bedtime nappy, smeared it all over myself and the sheets and then screamed blue murder!

DM not amused. Maybe this silly poo obsession of hers will stop now.

I recommend this course of action for all of you.

My stupid mum insists on getting me dressed EVERY DAY. Also she doesn't help me practice sitting up straight after inhaling a full bottle of milk, as apparently she's grown tired of cleaning up my sick. How ridiculously selfish! Still, I get my own back by pretending to be asleep until she tucks me into bed and then I wake up and refuse to sleep for another hour smug

My mummy makes me hold her hand when crossing the road! Then when I had the good grace to stage a sit in protest in the middle of the road rather than have a temper tantrum ( as most 2 year old would) she had the temerity to PICK ME UP and deposit me on the pavement. Then, when I complained about her awful treatment to what looked like a friendly passing woman the woman just laughed at me and sympathised with my mother. Seriously don't trust adults they collude in our oppression.

My mummy must think I was born yesterday. She bought me a clock with pretty sun and stars on it and I'm supposed to stay asleep until the clock goes yellow. Mummy says she doesn't come in when the clock is blue, but I know she does really, if I scream loud enough. Sometimes, when I'm feeling really tired, the clock is yellow when I wake up, but today it was blue, so I just started shouting mummy, I'm not sleepy until she came and got me. See, I told you she does come in when the clocks blue, why does she keep getting it wrong?! And then she had the cheek to make me go in her bed and be quiet in case I woke my sister. Well, duh, it's much more fun when I manage that, no more darkened rooms and being quiet, we can both run around and make lots of noise!

Well after the lecture I copped yesterday about the clock going yellow, I decided to step it up a notch with advanced tactics. So today I woke up and the silly thing was still blue, so I shouted for mummy that I needed the potty, which got results. My sister heard me and decided to help out, so both our silly clocks went yellow as if by magic!

My "D"M is obsessed with my weight. She is constantly going on about how big I'm getting and records every pound I put on in a little red book. She even called my DGPs to tell then I'd jumped up a clothes size!
I think she is projecting as I caught her eating half a pack of chocolate digestives at 4am yesterday when she was supposed to be feeding me.
It's only been 4 months so I really dread what she'll be like in the future.

I'm with you on that -Whyhas they get chocolate biscuits. Tell me if what they give us is sooo good why do you never see an adult eating yogurt ? In fact I don't think they eat much fruit either.

DM is OK. I mean she does the basics- constant supply of carbohydrates, magical ability to find lost PE kit under little brother's bed clean clothes, pocket money, phone top-ups.
But the constant, unremitting, useless DEMANDS...
"put your laundry in the basket"
"can you please lay the table?"
"answer my phone, I'm in the bath"
"turn that Xbox off and get your maths done before tea"
"I just want to know if their parents will be there at the sleepover"
"What you do out with your firends is one thing but don't use that word about your sister in my house young man"

Seriously. I would LTB but then I would have nowhere to live or have to buy my own pizza.