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Original poster

To think there are a lot of misconceptions about terminating a pregnancy

999 replies

fiveacres · 29/05/2015 18:17

Obviously, about abortion, which is a contentious issue for some.

I am approaching the third due date of the pregnancy I terminated in the autumn of 2011 at 9 weeks.

I was a very pious sort once, who believed that abortions were morally wrong. i admit that freely. I still do feel that the best option is not to be in that position in the first place.

However, although I do sometimes think about it, I don't regret it. I've been pregnant twice since so it hasn't affected my fertility.

I paid privately. I did not have any counselling - I was undecided when I went for the initial appointment but I have to say it was very much 'assumed' that I wanted to terminate. The record of the abortion is not in my medical file.

You don't have to give a reason, although they did press me to have the implant, which I refused. They did do a scan, which was a bit upsetting.

It did not hurt. I was warned I would bleed a lot but I didn't. My periods came back in 6 weeks.

You are in a room with a LOT of other women after the procedure, which is upsetting.

Other than that, I felt good after having it done, relieved, happy, mainly relieved.

I do have the odd flash of guilt. I wouldn't do it again.

But, I was reading another thread and it crossed my mind a lot of people do not really seem to know what having a termination is like. My experience may be typical or it may not be, I don't know, but it would be interesting to see what the experiences of others are to try to dispel or to address some of the myths that surround this difficult but sometimes necessary issue.

OP posts:
lastuseraccount123 · 02/06/2015 01:16

exactly, Winter. well said.

lastuseraccount123 · 02/06/2015 01:21

FWIW attitudes to abortion vary wildly by province in Canada: there's not really a "Canadian" viewpoint on this. A more conservative province like PEI has basically made abortion impossible to get - like Ireland, women have to leave their province to get an abortion.

www.abortionrightspei.com/

BC is a much more liberal province and abortions are free if you are a resident there:

everywomanshealthcentre.ca/fees/

so, it really depends where you are.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 02/06/2015 01:22

I've heard that, seems very patchy considering the country-wide (lack) of law. But in theory at least its a start!

lastuseraccount123 · 02/06/2015 01:24

yes, it's because each province decides how to run it's own medical services, along with education etc, so you get this mish mash of abortion provision which is guided by the politics of the province.

FeijoaSundae · 02/06/2015 02:11

"Your entire stance is about getting everyone in the world to agree with you."

Says who? You?

Come on, you can do better than that.

No - you say it. You are not pro-choice. You do not think women should have a choice about this.

Therefore they have to agree with you. Or be put in a position which is according to your wishes, instead of their own.

Do you not understand what I am saying?

Tonberry · 02/06/2015 07:05

I agree LittleHorseShoes that if men got pregnant there'd be unrestricted access to abortion and it would be a complete non-issue. Either that or we'd be the ones suppressing them and imposing laws that control their family size and bodily autonomy. Oh, wait....

I'm going to steer away from late term abortion for the moment as the vast majority of these, as referenced in my earlier post with Department of Health stats, are due to serious foetal abnormalities. If it was me in that situation I would quite probably continue the pregnancy for as long as it was humane to do so and then end the pregnancy at that point.

To go back to early abortion, and at least 90% of abortions in the UK are early abortions, and a comment made about feminism. A man can walk away from an unwanted pregnancy, he doesn't have to carry the pregnancy or bear any of the health risks (physical and mental) of pregnancy. Women should have the same rights, to deny them the same rights is to say that we aren't equal, that we are lesser, and that pregnancy is a punishment for having sex but only women are deserving of that punishment.

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 07:34

If you don't think it would ever be used then why is a change in the law needed? Also, seeing as it's possible for women to have 'control over their own bodies' at that stage without terminating then why support termination specifically?

There was a poll done in Canada asking if the people there thought there should be a law restricting third trimester abortions and 60% voted that there should be.

"the vast majority of these, as referenced in my earlier post with Department of Health stats, are due to serious foetal abnormalities."

Because in the UK it is only legal for medical reasons after 24 weeks so of course those are the only reasons you are going to find cited Hmm

Tonberry · 02/06/2015 07:54

And if it was self-regulated, I highly doubt the number of late term abortions would go shooting up.

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 08:10

So why change it then if it wouldn't be used?

Meerka · 02/06/2015 08:48

^No, meerka, it's true.

"Your entire stance is about getting everyone in the world to agree with you. "

Says who? You?^

er - no? that line wasn't from me. It was another poster - go and check.

Hmm
Meerka · 02/06/2015 08:48

that was to bumbleymummy

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 09:06

I wasn't attributing that quote to you. It came after my comment to you. The person who wrote it knew it was theirs and replied.

BertrandRussell · 02/06/2015 09:12

Bumbleymmy- if the law was changed to allow for abortion to term do you think the number of late abortions would change?

Tonberry · 02/06/2015 09:38

And if you don't think the number would change, why do you object to the law being changed? Why not make it legal up to term for any reason and allow it to be a decision solely between a woman and her doctor?

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 09:55

Because it allows for the possibility of it happening. I think even one would be too many. I think most people are only supportive of this because they think it would never be used.

BertrandRussell · 02/06/2015 10:01

Bumbleymmy- if the law was changed to allow for abortion to term do you think the number of late abortions would change?

shaska · 02/06/2015 10:06

Needs thanks for explaining and actually you're right- I hadn't, bizarrely, even considered the other parent.

Bilberry · 02/06/2015 10:22

Those suggesting the number of late abortions wouldn't change if it was allowed to term. Why do you think this would be? Because there is a sense that it is wrong to kill a baby who would be capable of surviving if delivered at that point?

There was talk earlier about everyone having their own moral compass and so long as they felt it was ok then it is ok. Is this really ok? Most people think committing murder is wrong (I'm not going for a comparison with abortion here just something that most people agree is wrong) but we are not left to self-regulate this, there are still laws in place even if a murderer thinks what they did was ok under their moral compass. Doesn't society have the right to impose some moral standards on people within that society?

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 10:40

Bert. See above post. It might.

BertrandRussell · 02/06/2015 10:54

But in Canada it hasn't.

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 11:01

? It hasn't what?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 02/06/2015 11:39

If you don't think it would ever be used then why is a change in the law needed? Also, seeing as it's possible for women to have 'control over their own bodies' at that stage without terminating then why support termination specifically?

Because on the off chance it would need to be used I think that should be up to the woman, not the law. Why do you think the law is necessary?
Your second point makes no sense. It ISN'T possible to have control over your own body at that stage if the law prevents it. If I want a termination at 25 weeks I cant have one, so I don't have the control, do I?

Comparing it to murder is a false analogy. Thats a law that covers what we are allowed to do to other living legal persons. We have to agree on laws about that to protect each other. There needs to be a consensus within society about whats fair and allowable. But in this discussion, I don't want a societal consensus on what happens in my body. I don't think you should get an opinion on it. My uterus is not your concern.

Bilberry · 02/06/2015 12:27

Yes it is your body but you are not able to abort a baby on your own, someone else has to carry out the abortion. I suppose it is closer to assisted suicide in terms of debate. But for me and many others, if a baby is able to survive outside the womb then I think the view of 'it is my uterus' has to be tempered with consideration for the baby.

bumbleymummy · 02/06/2015 12:33

Winter, you don't have to terminate to end a pregnancy at that point. Not currently allowed either but if you are asking for a change to give women more control over their own bodies why specifically support termination?

Your uterus may not be other people's concern but what's inside your uterus is a distinct human entity that does seem to require other people's concern.

BertrandRussell · 02/06/2015 13:00

I don't know why you are focussing on late term abortions, bumbleymummy-you feel exactly the same about pre 12 week ones. Obviously, you are perfectly entitled to your opinion. You are not entitled to try to impose it on everyone else.

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