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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider giving up secure tenancy for extra bedroom & garden [title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

35 replies

UnoUno · 27/05/2015 09:17

I have name changed for this, only as details are very much likely to out me.

I live in a 2 bedroom flat. There are 5 of us, and we fit here when we moved. I was pregnant, and dc3 slept in our room when born, & dc1 & dc2 shared the box room (they fit in nicely, with space left)

Fast forward a few years. My dh & I are sleeping in the lounge, dc1 now has the box room to themselves, and dc2 & dc3 share the slightly bigger room.

Now, I am desperate to move. I want a garden, and our own bedroom back. However, our rent is reasonably cheap (we would be looking at an extra £200 / £300 per month if moved) the flat its self is lovely ( and the flat building only has 2 flats, so is us & our downstairs neighbours only - its not a big block IYSWIM?) And our tenancy is as secure as it could be (rent from a family member)

So, AIBU? To move just for the garden / extra bedroom? What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
HereIAm20 · 27/05/2015 09:20

Move!

Quitelikely · 27/05/2015 09:23

It really depends how much you would use the garden.

I've rarely used my gardens despite having three children.

Or not enough to justify paying £300 per month for one.

I have however paid extra to have another room for a baby................

Jollyphonics · 27/05/2015 09:24

I'd move!

Shakirasma · 27/05/2015 09:25

Although a secure tenancy is worth its weight in gold, you are ridiculously overcrowded and I don't see how your situation is sustainable long term as the children get older.

So you are absolutely going to have to move eventually, so I'd do it now whilst the children are young enough to really get the benefit of a garden. You will wonder how you managed for so long as you are, I'm sure.

formerbabe · 27/05/2015 09:27

My DC hardly ever use our garden despite them being very active...I literally have to bribe them to go out and play in it. They much prefer going to the park...my ds says he prefers the park because he can hang out and play with other children.

RumAppleGinger · 27/05/2015 09:28

It doesn't sound to me like you are moving just for a garden. Having a bedroom for you and DH would be pretty high up on my list!

Koalafications · 27/05/2015 09:30

I'm confused as to why you would be moving purely for a garden. I would see an extra bedroom as being a much higher priority.

Either way, move! Give yourselves some more space Smile

BrieAndChilli · 27/05/2015 09:31

We lived in a lovely big 2 bed flat in the middle of our local town. Ds1 and dd shared a huge room and we had loads of space but I really really wanted a garden!! So we moved to a local village into a 3 bed semi and although th house isn't as nice in term of features and decor the benefits were worth it
Can hang out washing
Kids can have a paddling pool
Grow fleets and veg
Kids have trampoline
Can have a bbq/eat meals outside

PatriciaHolm · 27/05/2015 09:32

As others say, surely it's not just for a garden, it's for another bedroom! As the kids become teenagers, 5 of you in 2 beds with one a box room isn't going to be any fun, surely!

NRomanoff · 27/05/2015 09:34

YANBU there is more reason than to move, than just the garden imo.

But I am in a house I don't particularly like, that's in an area I don't really like. We haven't moved as we have a big garden and living in the area I want to live in would mean having a tiny garden, the house with big gardens are out of our budget. We are always out in our garden so would really miss it.

Shockers · 27/05/2015 09:36

I love our garden and couldn't imagine living in a home without one in normal circumstances. Sad though it may be, one of my greatest pleasures is hanging out washing!

I'd move if I were you.

Royalsighness · 27/05/2015 09:37

Your current situation financially sounds great, ours is too, the mortgage is only £400 a month on our 2 bed terrace but we only have a yard. We are moving for the extra bedroom and a bigger garden/off-road parking.

There are days when I really don't want to as this could double our mortgage but we really need the extra space now, it sounds like you do too x

Original poster
UnoUno · 27/05/2015 09:37

Yes, my point on the garden is that would be the main reason. A bedroom obviously, however it kind of works now as dh & I stay up late anyway. However, DC1 has started secondary school so its also a consideration.

I wondered, that's all. Because if it was the better option to stay, I would kit out from Ikea (gradually, budget allowing)

The reasons we would consider staying, are what I listed in OP, and the extra money each month.
However, I get a real 'itch' sometimes, for a garden. And my own bedroom. and a utility room

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 27/05/2015 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FelixFelix · 27/05/2015 09:41

I'd move. We moved from a 2 bed back-to-back terraced house (no garden) which was adequately big enough for us and baby dd to a huge 3 bed semi with a garden, just because I wanted a garden (and maybe a bigger kitchen Grin). We pay £250 more a month but it was so worth it. I see your situation as totally different to just wanting a garden. If I was in your position I'd move for the extra bedroom and a garden would be a bonus.

MrsNextDoor · 27/05/2015 09:42

If you have that extra money and it won't leave you destitute then move. We've always had a garden until we moved into a flat last year and though we do in fact have a small garden, it's on the ground floor while we're on the 2nd and it's awkward to get to so my DC can't just run outside...I love gardening too...I couldn't imagine not having any garden at all.

TheOriginalWinkly · 27/05/2015 09:44

We're selling our airy, spacious, bright, quiet 2 bedroom flat and looking to buy a house further away from work and for more money so that we can have an extra bedroom (thinking of DC2 but also overnight guests) and a garden. DD sleeps much better after being outside and at the minute it's hassle, the idea of being able to open a door and shove her outside to a clear space with a ball and maybe a paddling pool or slide waiting ready sounds like heaven. Plus I agree with the pp who said about hanging washing outside - air dried sheets and DD playing outside = my actual dream (modest dreamer!)

Original poster
UnoUno · 27/05/2015 09:47

Financial wise, we could afford to move. It would mean no holidays though, and the occasional meal out we have would need to stop (perhaps having a garden to eat in would even that out?)

We have just reached the top of the allotment list, which we spent a few years on, and now have a fair size plot. Its in the next road to us, and so had hoped that may make up for the garden, though am not sure.

Its such a hard decision, and I to & fro every day.

OP posts:
ScorpioMermaid · 27/05/2015 09:54

yanbu, I couldn't not have a garden with the kids. its so nice when you're trying to get on with whatever jobs you're doing and the kids are playing outside. eating outside in the summer is just lovely too. We love our garden and are very lucky to have a pretty big one where we live. its also a secure rent so we don't have any intentions of moving out. ever. doubly lucky I suppose. go for the garden, you won't regret it Smile

MrsNextDoor · 27/05/2015 09:56

Just be aware of the fact that private rentals are insecure. You can be asked to leave with 2 months notice and that's that. As someone who'se been in them for years, I'd advise you to look at buying one of those assisted purchase places....part ownership scheme....with a family, it's worrying having the fear of moving again always over your head.

Original poster
UnoUno · 27/05/2015 10:00

MrsNextDoor That is a worry of mine. Could you please tell me more about the assisted purchase scheme? I know a few different schemes similar are around here. Are they worth it?

OP posts:
Alanna1 · 27/05/2015 10:00

Is there anyway you can expand the property or rearrange how you use it? Could the three children share the largest room (e.g. the lounge - and move the lounge to the next largest room or even the box room, if you have a kitchen diner then you don't really need the lounge for as much other than the TV). You can have triple bunk beds made?. Rather than paying the £300pcm extra in rent somewhere, could you put that down towards a mortgage deposit for yourself in the near future (=that's at least £3,600 a year together with anything else you can save) and register on your local affordable housing schemes list for shared ownership etc properties that may come up (then you can keep the allotment?).

OOAOML · 27/05/2015 10:16

We have two children in a two bedroom flat, and it is doing my head in - but they are a boy and a girl and she's needing more privacy now. I imagine it would still be a space issue even if same sex. And as children move through high school they will need peace and space to study. Flats here seem not to be shifting fast though, and still debating where to move. I would like a garden but for me the extra space is key. We try and declutter but still end up with stuff everywhere. And the chance of hanging washing out (assuming decent weather) is a big draw.

MrsNextDoor · 27/05/2015 10:23

Uno I don't know much about them either but know they are provided by local authorities

this link is good and tells the basics.

MrsNextDoor · 27/05/2015 10:25

I am pretty sure they are worth it as you get part ownership of the property and can keep buying more of it as you go...there's that security too which is invaluable.

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