Look, it's very hard to be both clear and nuanced on a thread that's going in a million different directions. I started on this thread by feeling fairly defensive about Ireland. I'm living here right now, I'm going to be here, but I've also been an expat, and then not been an expat.. and so all of these experiences make me have all sorts of feelings about it that are hard to pin down into words, both positive and negative. Ultimately I've chosen to be here and to raise my children here, so I do care deeply about Ireland, and this sometimes means I defend the culture and sometimes I despair of it.
I do think that Ireland today is a million times more progressive than I ever could have imagined as a despairing teen, when I was both confused about my sexual orientation and a child of divorced parents with alcohol and mental health issues and stigmatised by all these factors beyond all belief. I think most teenagers who are confused about their sexual orientation and have divorced parents who have alcohol and mental issues experience shame and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings about this experience, but mine happens to be coloured by what it was like to be specifically Irish in those times, and shaped by Irish attitudes to being in a "broken home" through the long campaign to the divorce referendum, and Irish attitudes to drink and mental illness.
Like most Irish people, I will react strongly and in a somewhat kneejerk way to statements that denigrate the nature of the progress that Ireland has made and is making, or who choose to minimise it, and I think that given our history and so much of what still operates in the culture, we have made huge strides forward.
However, I am also keenly aware that there are a lot of oppressive laws and practices here that do impact on my life today. We've discussed the maternity issues. I'd like another child, I'm not sure I want to risk having one here. To take another example, I'm in a position where my children have to attend Catholic schools despite not being Catholic and where teacher training is divided on sectarian lines, with a huge emphasis in teacher interviews at primary level on how well teachers will manage to uphold "Catholic ethos" (in a system where only 6% of children nationally can access education that is not of a Catholic ethos). There are a lot of areas that are resistant to change in ways that can be very unhelpful in terms of progress.
But - as I've been arguing - it's complex. If you say some of this, as has been said on this thread, someone will immediately tell you that the UK is no shining virtue too. I did this myself, early in this thread... but when I checked myself and took a bit of a step back from it, I know that I do think a lot of the laws and services are not where they need to be, nor are.
It's complex. How do you say this well? I think it's a country of huge promise, hope and courage which has dragged itself up out of the gutters with an eye on the stars, but which is simultaneously oppressive, defensive and still influenced by its historical past in ways that are not always helpful in the present day. Perhaps all countries are, who knows. I only have anything like intimate knowledge of two - England and Ireland - and inevitably my experiences and knowledges are constrained and shaped by my own context and my own experiences. Everyone's is, it's the nature of being human. We can only filter our own experiences, and we will all be a bit biased and uneven and contradictory in doing so, I guess.