To be properly shocked at a 40 year old man equating a breastfeeding cafe with a topless bar?!

[dependentspouse]

Or is this type of attitude actually common, and I have just been lucky enough not to encounter it before?

Man in question is my BIL, a lovely, university-educated, well-travelled, and liberal dad of 4 lovely kids (all bottle-fed ), who expressed this view during a discussion about me breastfeeding DD2 who is 2 weeks old... oh, and then asked me to send him a 'topless selfie' from the cafe...

My goodness what a knob. Its attitudes like this that do not promote bf.

He's basically asked you for a picture of your breasts ? Has he always been a creep ?

Yes I have come across the attitude where men don't seem to be able to differentiate between breastfeeding and flashing ya tits for thrills

Well proves my point, that not all university attendee are educated

Pure ignorance. Just goes to show that well educated people aren't always the most open minded.

and then asked me to send him a 'topless selfie' from the cafe...

Sadly my pils and bil have similar views. I don't think any of them would ask for a picture though.

Wow, the only person who wasn't keen on watching me breast feed was dsfil who was in his 70's. Never anyone of my own generation or my own family.

Lovely? Your BIL is not lovely, nor is his education up to much - he's an ignorant, pervy, gobshite.

I think men find it hard not to sexualise anything to do with breasts - very odd.

People who can't handle breast feeding in public need to get a life, I remember my mil suggesting I do it in the toilets. Erm, no.

Surely it was a misguided 'joke'?

Or are you saying he was 100% serious?

Oh, dear. A bit immature, isn't he?

What is a breastfeeding cafe?

What a dick. Does your husband know his brother is perving over his wife and does bil wife know?

Oh give up.

Thinking about it more seriously, he might feel a bit 'threatened' because your baby is receiving a different kind of parenting than his did and be trying to diminish what you're doing.

He's an ignorant slob with a degree.

Well Baby Cafe is a brand name for a nationally run bf support group

40 going on 14 by the sounds of it.

Does he have daughters? What will he do if they or his DILs decide to bf their children in future? Hopefully not perv over them...

What a knob.

Yes, what is a 'breastfeeding cafe'?
Some men do find breastfeeding sexual. It's actually quite a well known fetish.
I'm not sure if this applies to your BIL though, he may just have an immature sense of humour.

Years back, a friend of mine was breastfeeding in a park and two teenaged lads walked past. One had his eyes on stalks as he gawped at her.
Only to have his mate slap him on the back of the head so hard he nearly fell over, and then hiss
'Wotcha doin' you wanker? Them's feeding tits, not lookin' at tits' and then 'Sorry Miss' as he shoved his friend along.
She was shaking with giggles so hard that the feed was interrupted for several minutes.
Some people may have an education, but they aren't really educated. Tell him he's being an arse, then he'll know that his attitude and SOH needs adjustment.

hag - awesome.

OP - is this man's wife aware of what he asked you to do?

He asked you to send him a picture? Ugh! What a vile, seedy little man.

hag I like the sound of that boy

The comparison wouldn't bother me as much as the request for a picture - that is completely inappropriate and I would be horrified if a relative of mine was asking me for pictures of my breasts in any circumstances, but particularly in this context.