To be properly shocked at a 40 year old man equating a breastfeeding cafe with a topless bar?!

[dependentspouse]

Or is this type of attitude actually common, and I have just been lucky enough not to encounter it before?

Man in question is my BIL, a lovely, university-educated, well-travelled, and liberal dad of 4 lovely kids (all bottle-fed ), who expressed this view during a discussion about me breastfeeding DD2 who is 2 weeks old... oh, and then asked me to send him a 'topless selfie' from the cafe...

[fatlazymummy]

Is this it? www.upperbreastside.com/
It's not a cafe though ?

[coconutpie]

Hag - that is awesome!!!!

[dependentspouse]

Totally agree Sallyingforth and Beryl - and I should add that I have no problem feeding wherever and whenever - but DH had got a kick out of the fact that such a place exists in NYC which was what led to the discussion.

[BerylStreep]

X post!

[BerylStreep]

Why the need for specialist bf cafes though?

I think people should be able to bf wherever they want.

[Sallyingforth]

I have to ask - why is it a breastfeeding cafe?
Every cafe should enable breastfeeding.

[dependentspouse]

Sorry busy day!

The breastfeeding cafe we were talking about is in New York where we're off to next month - it's called the Upper Breast Side . I'll report back on what it's like when I've been!

[DoJo]

The comparison wouldn't bother me as much as the request for a picture - that is completely inappropriate and I would be horrified if a relative of mine was asking me for pictures of my breasts in any circumstances, but particularly in this context.

[derxa]

hag I like the sound of that boy

[Kampeki]

He asked you to send him a picture? Ugh! What a vile, seedy little man.

[specialsubject]

hag - awesome.

OP - is this man's wife aware of what he asked you to do?

[HagOtheNorth]

Years back, a friend of mine was breastfeeding in a park and two teenaged lads walked past. One had his eyes on stalks as he gawped at her.
Only to have his mate slap him on the back of the head so hard he nearly fell over, and then hiss
'Wotcha doin' you wanker? Them's feeding tits, not lookin' at tits' and then 'Sorry Miss' as he shoved his friend along.
She was shaking with giggles so hard that the feed was interrupted for several minutes.
Some people may have an education, but they aren't really educated. Tell him he's being an arse, then he'll know that his attitude and SOH needs adjustment.

[fatlazymummy]

Yes, what is a 'breastfeeding cafe'?
Some men do find breastfeeding sexual. It's actually quite a well known fetish.
I'm not sure if this applies to your BIL though, he may just have an immature sense of humour.

[EvilTendency1]

What a knob.

[SolasEile]

40 going on 14 by the sounds of it.

Does he have daughters? What will he do if they or his DILs decide to bf their children in future? Hopefully not perv over them...

[anothergenericname]

Well Baby Cafe is a brand name for a nationally run bf support group

[Andrewofgg]

He's an ignorant slob with a degree.

[mrstweefromtweesville]

Thinking about it more seriously, he might feel a bit 'threatened' because your baby is receiving a different kind of parenting than his did and be trying to diminish what you're doing.

[derxa]

Oh give up.

[Justusemyname]

What a dick. Does your husband know his brother is perving over his wife and does bil wife know?

[Totality22]

What is a breastfeeding cafe?

[mrstweefromtweesville]

Oh, dear. A bit immature, isn't he?

[WorraLiberty]

Surely it was a misguided 'joke'?

Or are you saying he was 100% serious?

[Sidalee7]

I think men find it hard not to sexualise anything to do with breasts - very odd.

People who can't handle breast feeding in public need to get a life, I remember my mil suggesting I do it in the toilets. Erm, no.