AIBU to feel annoyed at people being so insensitive and presumptious!

[Allstoppedup]

So I found out this morning that I am having another little boy. I already have a 17 month old DS who is gorgeous, funny, clever and generally awesome in my PFB opinion

Since this morning I have already had two people comment to say how "disappointed" I must be and how it's a "such a shame" because he's not a girl.

I didn't and still don't give a big hairy gonad what sex child I was having and am absolutely thrilled to be having another lovely boy.

I am still very pleased but have been honestly taken back by both of these people (one a neighbour and one a friend) and how negative they are.

My response so far was to smile and say something along the lines of why would I be disappointed, I make fantastic boys!

Dont know why I've posted really as I know it's been done to death but I just felt it really made me feel crappy when I previously felt great and wanted to rant!

I am sure people with three of the same sex get this a lot more though. The only defence I could make of this twattish behaviour though is that people feel they have to make some comment, and you did tell them - just keep the news to yourself until there's a lovely baby boy to show them!

I have three girls. I used to get told how disappointed I must be that at least one of them wasn't a boy.

I remember when pregnant with DD3 and I had been told at my 20 week scan that it would be a girl, a woman I vaguely knew who helped run our local mum & toddler group blurted out "Oh what a shame". I gave her the death stare and asked her directly, and publicly, "Why is it a shame?" She went very red in the face, muttered some incomprehensible bollocks and scarpered.

Either take no notice at all, or tell them directly what you think.

Aw congratulations! My sister (mum of a lovely little girl) is pg again and none of us could care less what she is having - we just hope for a healthy baby. Either:

She has a boy - it will be a lovely change in a very 'girl heavy' family
She has another girl - I think there is something special about same gender siblings, especially those close in age, a friend for life! (And occasional sparring partner!)

Ignore them.

Usually, people make comments more based on their own hang-ups which they project onto you...

still learning how to rise above it

LP with a beautiful son.

Was going to say the same thing Iflyaway. When my second son was born, on two occasions complete strangers came up to me and said "I expect you were hoping for a girl".
I think in both cases they were either projecting their own feelings on to me or those of a family member. Also think they just wanted someone to talk to - older people.
However it doesn't help with Prince Charles and the Queen apparently publicly saying how glad they are that William and Kate had a girl... What if it was a boy? What would they have said then?

Oh actually Prince Charles was very vocal about wanting a granddaughter as soon as Kate announced her pregnancy. That would have really peed me off if I was Kate - lucky she didn't have a boy who could read about being a disappointment in the future on the internet.

YADNBU I get this all the time and it really hacks me off. I'm due DS2 any day now and the amount of comments I've had about 'trying for a girl' is unreal. I do just speak my mind about it now, I laugh and say 'well no actually, I'm happy I'll have 2 boys why wouldn't I be?'

As someone who works with teenagers I know what I'd rather have! People are just rude, don't let them put a dampner on how you feel just don't let them visit once he's here :).

I just had twin boys and when people ask what I have already and I say another boy they just put on a pity face! I'll admit to a bit of personal gender disappointment when I found out initially but I have 3 amazing little boys now who are going to be great friends so they can all just f off! mini rant brought to you courtesy of sleep deprivation

YANBU.

I have two very nice snuggly boys and people are frankly going mental over whether due very soon DC3 might be a girl.

I also don't really mind, but "you must want a girl this time" is what I get. :)

People are funny.

I have 2 teenage boys who are wonderful, I also have a 18 month old girl and expecting another girl in august, I would have been just as happy with another 2 boys and to be completely honest, there is absolutely no difference to me in having girls to having boys, not yet anyway!!

Enjoy your wonderful boys, having same sex babies close together is wonderful and hopefully they'll grow up close and having loads of fun together. Congratulations

Please be sure to dress him in pink fairy costumes and call him a non gender specific name to mask your disappointment.
Alternatively tell them you are absolutely delighted to have another boy and go fuck themselves.
As a mother of two gorgeous adult boys who me, YANBU.

*who adore me

Ah ignore them.
I've had it too being the mother of 3 sons and I used to reply that I was over the moon as I'd never pined for a girl.
I love my Nieces but I'm happy I'm not their mother and don't have to raise them ;)

I've got two boys. It's bloody brilliant. Congratulations!

Mumtothree - there is actually a wealth of research to highlight how the father is far more likely to leave the family home when the offspring are solely female.

Yes. Hubby said he would leave if all three has been girls!! I promised him a shed :)

I have two boys, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Congratulations!

It does work both ways, when I had my twins (girls ) some people expressed sorrow that I didn't get one of each

Around here they abort girls for cultural reasons so very much the local hospitals stopped telling people the sex. In fact from India to China to all over never mind English aristocratic families the boys are lauded and the girls resented as boys earn and girls are a financial drain who need expensive dowries.

Another one here who's had similar treatment!

DS1 was born extremely prematurely and for a long time we didn't know if he'd ever make it home. I then had a lot of fairly invasive treatment to elongate my pregnancy with DS2, and we were almightily lucky that he arrived healthy and at term. That was us done, as we felt we were seriously playing with fire even having a second pregnancy, but had been desperate for DS1 to have a sibling.

Even some of the people who knew us well and knew the processes we had been through to have two healthy boys at home still looked at us pityingly and said it was a shame we weren't trying again, as we might have got a girl instead. Some people have lost their marbles.

lotus when a friend was travelling across India, he experienced that. In one of the villages he visited he was told to stay away from the river on a certain day as it was when they 'drowned the baby girls'. Although this fact had been alluded to he was still very shocked.

Also I have read articles about many baby girls being abandoned in China, and even being drowned at birth.

Only boys, only girls, one of each or even more!

It seems no matter what you have someone is waiting with an innocuous comment! None of us are safe.

invisiblegirlproject.org/see-the-issue/

Only when women start to earn what men do and don't go part time or work flexi hours or stay at home will the lives of baby girls be saved on this planet. We all play our part in these things by our personal choices.

I only had a bit of this when my second boy was born.

Im now expecting a third baby and have not found out the sex because, like you, im as happy with either.

However, someone in our house is going to be disappointed. When I asked ds1 (nearly three) that there's a baby in my tummy and would he like a baby boy or a baby girl, he answered 'baby duck'. when pressed further he insisted more vehemently he wanted a baby duck.

Birthing a duck egg WOULD be much easier....