Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To support DS to break school rules?

399 replies

Woffa · 20/05/2015 22:52

My DS's secondary school has issued a written ban on sixth formers driving to school and parking in the local roads nearby (even though there are no double yellow lines etc) to avoid upsetting the residents.
The bus fare for DS is expensive and the saving helps pay for his insurance.

AIBU to support him in ignoring the ban?

OP posts:
SideOrderofChips · 21/05/2015 09:28

As someone who lives next to a college yabu.

We have to deal with speeding cars with no concerns about children or animals on the estate, gangs of kids hanging around their cars and blaring music.

tiggytape · 21/05/2015 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkje · 21/05/2015 10:07

Where do the teachers park?

I would encourage him to park further away from the school - the little bit of walking will be good for his body and brain.

I don't think he should ignore the rule (question it by all means) but we as a society are governed by rules.

FishCanFly · 21/05/2015 10:14

YANBU. School cannot dictate this. But when i was at uni, students and even staff were told not to bring cars, not banned, but strongly discouraged. There was no parking provided, only for exceptions, like disabled.

So if he can find where to park, its none of the school's business.

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 10:23

Madreloco, well misread.

I said that if he does not sign the contract they don't have to teach him. No signature on the Learning Agreement means the school cannot draw down funding for him, therefore, no signature = no teaching. The LA is signed every term....

I also said that if there is such a rule and his car is reported they could use any such rule in the normal disciplinary manner.

It is unlikely that m/any will fall foul of such a ban, but to insist that any school cannot do anything about it is obtuse.

To pp who asked about my 'daft' comment. OP has sad how much the bus fare costs, and, as any fule do no, a car for a teenager costs much, much more! Even if only limited to being added to insurance!

grannytomine · 21/05/2015 10:39

OP is it worth asking the school if they would agree to a rule like my kids school, eg no parking within a mile of the school? The cars are so spread out then that it doesn't cause a problem. The walk does them good and your son would learn valuable lesson in negotiating?

grannytomine · 21/05/2015 10:41

LazyLouLou, would the learning agreement be like the home school agreement we had to sign, over 20 years ago now when it affected my eldest two? The agreement was signed every year and it was a condition of them having a place at a very good state school that we were lucky to get them into? I certainly wouldn't have risked their places by flouting the rules.

madreloco · 21/05/2015 10:42

Its the same thing. and youre still wrong.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 21/05/2015 10:47

To pp who asked about my 'daft' comment. OP has sad how much the bus fare costs, and, as any fule do no, a car for a teenager costs much, much more! Even if only limited to being added to insurance!

Sorry, it's still daft!!

You're ignoring the fact that the teen has the car already for other purposes. It makes no sense to pay £700 a year for a bus pass when you have a perfectly serviceable car available to use for much less.

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 10:48

Sort of, grannie. It is made up of 2 parts. The first is the simple Learning Agreement. Schools, VI Forms and FE colleges all have to prove that every student is continuing to attend... registers do this on a day to day basis and the LA requires the student signature on a termly basis. Without this the school cannot claim full payment.

The other is the contract that the student signs up to, yearly. It will be a combination of a standard "You Do, We Do" contract and each school's Code of Conduct etc. Signing is also part of Registration - no signature = no registration onto the course.

Madreloco, I know I am not wrong as checking such paperwork is my job!

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 10:52

IKnow conversely it also makes no sense for a student in full time education, living on a bus route to have a car. Which was the scenario I used in the post that seems to have annoyed you.

For some it is a necessity. Where I work we lay on buses, were are extremely rural. For some their own car is essential to get anywhere. I certainly could not get anywhere if I had to rely on public transport.

But for a 16 -18 year old living on a good bus route to 'need' a car is daft. They may want one...

capsium · 21/05/2015 10:55

Tbh can frighten me sometimes how much people have to rely on transport to get places. There was a time where the school would be fairly local or with free transport - even in 6th form. Public transport was very cheap too.

Now 6th formers have to pay for transport, even though students are no longer allowed just leave school a 16. Public transport is indeed costly and everybody complains about parking. Schools, colleges and universities respond by banning students from using cars but where is the consideration for the younger generation (and their parents) in this set of circumstances?

OP if you did find your son a parking space, at a friends house, do you think the school would be happier about him driving to school? Perhaps you could raise the point, if not specifically in relation to your son, hypothetically as an interested party?

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 11:01

capsium VI formers have always had to pay for transport - even way back when!

Most colleges put on transport, their own fleets and working with the local bus companies, and many students can get LA subsidies etc to over some/all of it.

Bans on own cars are probably debated for many years before being implemented. I know my place of work considers all local complaints very carefully, it is not impossible that we could lose some of our funding if we did not respond well to local issues.

The matter is not as simple as may be thought.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/05/2015 11:01

Can the school not find space on the grounds for 6 formers. My Dsis school is in a village around lots of homes. The school have provided a parking area for them to park in to keep them away from the houses.

capsium · 21/05/2015 11:06

capsium VI formers have always had to pay for transport - even way back when!

Not at our school. We got a free school bus (state comprehensive). Many used the service.

capsium · 21/05/2015 11:06

^This was in the 80s.

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 11:08

My state comp did too, but only cos I lived miles away. Others who lived closer had to pay - also way back in the 80s Smile

capsium · 21/05/2015 11:09

it is not impossible that we could lose some of our funding if we did not respond well to local issues.

A better response would be to say that students can bring a car but only if they have proof they have an agreed parking space, other than that they have to park at least 1 mile away.

LazyLouLou · 21/05/2015 11:14

As I said, the Board have probably discussed this for a very long time, consulted with lawyers etc.

There may have been other possibilities, who knows? But this is the one they chose... it may not work, then again it might!

TTWK · 21/05/2015 11:16

When I was a school governor we had the same issue. Pupils driving to school, residents up in arms. We weighed up our options and ended up politely telling the residents to suck it up.

We considered we had no right to tell grown adults (some were 17, most were 18) who were driving cars that were legally insured and taxed how to get to their place of study.

Eventually the residents campaigned for and got a yellow line with no parking between 10am & 11am, which scuppered the students. So they all parked in the next street along. Then we had those residents on our case and we told them to suck it up!

capsium · 21/05/2015 11:19

Well rules have to be reasonable unless you want people to be flouting them left, right and centre. Solutions should be found for transport and parking really if there is a trend for larger schools with larger catchments. With the proof of parking idea you might find some local residents would be prepared to 'rent' their drives at an affordable cost. Everybody could be happy then...

grapejuicerocks · 21/05/2015 11:24

Talk to the school and say that if they pay the £700 you will consider supporting the school. If not, then that is the cheapest and most practical way of him getting to school, given that he already has to pay for his car.
I wonder what they will choose.

Having said that, encourage him to park considerately, vary where he parks and park a bit further out if possible.

budgiegirl · 21/05/2015 11:45

OP, ultimately, I think I would leave it up to your DS to decide. He's at least 17, maybe 18. Certainly old enough to understand why this rule may have been introduced, and what the consequences of breaking the ban will be.
And if he decides to break the ban, let him deal with any consequences on his own.

But personally, I would still point out to him that the school has the right to introduce this ban if they choose. Those who say the school has no jurisdiction are just plain wrong.

TedAndLola · 21/05/2015 11:49

People getting territorial over parking is one of my biggest bug bears. Unless you choose to live somewhere with private parking you have absolutely no right to moan about who parks on "your" street. It's so bloody entitled and NIMBY. All this talk about inconvenience is nonsense, people without cars don't whinge about having to walk five minutes from the bus stop or train station to their house. Why do car drivers?

I would absolutely support my son in his right to park on the PUBLIC road wherever he legally can.

lljkk · 21/05/2015 11:49

If the lad drives a car as cheap to run as mine (25p/mile), 15 miles round trip to the college, 180 days/yr (2800 annual miles), then driving is just about the same cost as the bus fare. Just because OP has invested £3k or whatever for her son to have a legally ready to go car sitting on the drive is not a good reason to always use it to get to school. Calculate costs of actually moving it from A to B to figure out what best value. Rule of thumb is running costs = 2.5 * cost of petrol per mile.

Are you sure that's the cheapest bus pass? Does he share lifts, OP? That could bring costs further for driving.

As for 6th form: outrageous of them to insist, imho. Can they not help negotiate cheaper bus fares?