HELP! 5yr old is sexually abusing my Ds?!

[notnownoonoo]

I really need some help as I'm so upset and confused right now!

This started near the beginning of the yr around end of jan/feb when my son told me that one of his friends in reception kept pulling his pants and trousers down to look at his bum and willy, this then escalated to he keeps watching me in the toilets to look at me and won't stop.

Teachers told me they couldn't speak to other child's mum unless they witnessed the behaviour. I started keeping a record and about a month ago i thought it had pretty much stopped, ds wasn't informing me of any more incidents.

Then today we went with our ds to have a medical circumcision (this was a factor in our concerns regarding behaviour) all went well until on the way home ds told us he had bad news, then he told us "x child keeps tickling my willy and i don't like it" he further told us it had been happening all the time and he had told the teacher who told the boy to stop but he won't.

That is a brief overview but I am completely confused. Is this sexual abuse? it makes my son feel upset and concerned.. but the perpetrator is 5?! also no-one has seen this behaviour will he be believed? should i question him further about it?

I'm planning to speak to the headteacher tomorrow to report it and have rang nspcc for advice, they asked me to call back to speak to a supervisor/practitioner and said it is serious and needs to be explored and reported to children's services as a concern for both children!

But i will be basically reporting another parent (who im friendly with but havn't told her what's happened) for investigation on just my son's word.. i wish someone had seen this behaviour as he has been lying recently but why would he lie about this?

What action should i expect the head to take and should this be addressed as sexual abuse? could my son be negatively affected by it? so many questions

Not if it can potentially put the child at risk/in danger.

sorry i might not have been clear enough! The school is dealing with it, the half term falling as it is is a pain but when he goes back i am having a meeting with them again so they can tell me what plan of action they're putting into place as i told them very clearly he must be protected from the first day he returns.

I made the referral to ss, the nspcc also said they will communicate with management of the school to make sure they handle it properly and safeguard all children.

AnotherEmma of course I am i'm extremely upset and angry about what's happened, but bearing in mind when my son told me and since i've been by his side constantly as he's recovering from his operation i've had to remain calm and in check, I've done everything there is to be done atm i'm waiting to speak to ss, helping my son to recover and then when he goes back to school i'll do everything i can to make sure they're taking it very seriously and my ds is safe! If they cannot protect him and it happens again now that they know the seriousness of it then yes i will not send him to school and contact authorities but atm i have to trust that between the school and SS they will act appropriately and according to the safeguarding policy which i have a copy of.

I don't know exactly what/when they're telling the boy's parents.. they said to me in the meeting that they have to inform parent's if they're going to restrict a child's movement but he wouldn't give decisive plans of what they're going to do yesterday because he wanted to speak to everyone involved and supervisors and get more information, he told me a number of options however.

Teachers do not/should not go into toilets to 'watch', so there can never be any teacher witness (and clearly touching/fiddling/talking is not going to happen if a teacher was there).

But they don't need to do that. All they need to do to keep this from happening is ensure that those two boys are never in the toilets together. Surely they aren't letting 5 year olds wander around the school unsupervised, are they?

after i reported him watching my ds in the toilets they monitored it and put in some measures/started using bigger toilets with high walls and doors and it seems to have worked as the last time ds told me that happened was just before easter, hence why we thought it had stopped until this new thing. we think it's happening at lunch times in the playground/field when its the lunchtime supervisors who seem to be shit at supervising

the only thing that i have been thinking though is say they put in measures etc.. and it stops this happening again until say summer holidays.. what about long term? they could well be in the same class next yr would these restrictions and monitoring be there until yr 6?

The school has been shit. Be sure to flag this with the head and see if you are happy with the response.

How are things now school is back after half-term OP?

I was wondering same
Hope it's okay?