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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

264 replies

OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:34

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
wooldonor · 20/05/2015 18:20

Usually I try to see both points of view but on this occasion I'm finding it hard.

Statistically children who come from lower income backgrounds don't do as well as average at school.

The government has decided a way to try and address this.

To do this there is a form to try and identify which children are entitled to extra funding.

So far so simple

The only problem here is your rather odd attitude, you must know that you don't have to fill in the form, you must really be trying to be offended if you have a problem with being handed a totally routine form.

Pipbin · 20/05/2015 18:21

This has to be a piss take.
I am very well aware that children with ASD can find some textures unpleasant but hummus and carrot sticks........
I'm not saying I don't believe you but why do you think we care?

Or, is all this because you have taken this as a personal attack on your parenting skills? As the mother of an ASD child you will have had a lot of times where people have tutted and made assumptions. Are you a bit over sensitive to this now?

Charlotte3333 · 20/05/2015 18:22

I work in an infant school and my entire role is funded by the Pupil Premium. I support them in all kinds of ways, and a lot of the time I'm in class helping all of the children. But without the Pupil Premium I'd be out of a job and children might potentially go without the extra support that can help make school easier for them.

It's a standard form; DS2 is 4 and attends nursery 3 days a week and we had one sent home with all his end-of-month paperwork. It's a universal thing for nurseries and schools, and, ultimately, if it enables them to have more staff in a setting it can only be a positive thing.

PinkSquash · 20/05/2015 18:25

Your attitude will hinder your family more than claiming pupil premium would.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 18:25

There is so much wrong with every single one of your posts that it's hard to know where to start.

^^ This.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/05/2015 18:27

oh its ok - im sure some of the other kids will swap him a rice cake for their pom bears.

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 20/05/2015 18:27

Ah, THAT parent, move away folks, nothing to see here......

Honestly have you actually read your own posts? God forbid one of your children turns out to be 'just a bit thick'!!
Every child is bright in their own way you ridiculously bigoted pompous excuse of a parent. How outrageous that you think that children on fsm are there because their parents are at fault!

Oh my sweary cells are steaming

hiccupgirl · 20/05/2015 18:27

Just for your information OP the use of free school meals as an indicator of possible disadvantaged children is a government initiative not something the school or nursery has dreamt up to personally insult you.

While you might not be happy to share your details, if parents do,it means the school and nursery can get extra funding that an be used to the benefit of all the children depending on how they chose to use it. It is a massive problem for infant schools in particular as now all their children can get FSM anyway, their additional funding is dropping because parents don't have to claim for FSM anymore.

And getting funding for a one to one of your child is a very long and difficult process and nothing to do with pupil premium. It's not all been designed to annoy you, you know!

hesterton · 20/05/2015 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyRailway · 20/05/2015 18:37

OliviaJ, you are in a vulnerable position right now, so please don't think you can afford to be sniffy. Your husband works and you take care of the children. I'm not saying this is wrong, it's what I did until Dh turned violent.

I'm a single mum now, claiming income support. This was not part of my life plan! One of the hardest things about claiming benefits is the attitude of people like you. God forbid that you ever find yourself in this position.

My children are not behind at school, despite us being on benefits. However, I am very aware that I can't afford to give them the opportunities that they would have if I wasn't so skint. Even a trip to the museum costs bus fare, second hand books in charity shops are not of great quality and they will most certainly not be going on pricey day trips or school residentials. I'm lucky that we have a laptop computer, but if anything goes wrong with it I can't afford to replace it...

Hope this helps.

Icimoi · 20/05/2015 18:38

The issue of SEN funding is very different from the Pupil Premium, and it is true to say that it's quite complex applying for it as you have to demonstrate that the child is not making progress despite having been given all the help available within the school's resources. It is in fact particularly difficult to get it in the nursery for that reason.

However, you can't completely blame the nursery for that delay, because it was also open to you to make a formal request for an Education, Health and Care needs assessment, which might have got things moving a little more quickly. You might like to check in on the SN Children forum (section just under the one AIBU is in on the main page) for more advice on this.

Pengweng · 20/05/2015 18:40

Everyone has to fill it out. My girls start nursery in September and i filled it out even though we don't qualify. They just want to make sure they don't miss anyone and have as much funding for the school as possible. Stop being a ninny.

OurGlass · 20/05/2015 18:41

Oh come on, don't slate the cheese strings now.

hedgehogsdontbite · 20/05/2015 18:47

Yes that's the form. But what I'd like to know is why ask for our national insurance number first, why not just ask if we claim the relevant benefits then that way I wouldn't have to put down any other personal details.

They did it that way just to annoy you. They're bastards like that.

Original poster
OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 18:50

We claim a whopping £100 a month in CTC, which prior to last July we actually weren't entitled to anything. My husband works his backside off, but I had to leave my full time job to look after my son who has additional needs, that's the only reason we are now entitled to claim any help. We aren't lay abouts who expect down thing for nothing so please don't compare us to that or similar.

OP posts:
sarcasticfecker · 20/05/2015 18:52

What i dont get is why everyone wouldn't fill out the forms and how anyone would be offended by them

Basically the government is going to give early years settings £300 extra to benefit your child specifically and all you have to do is fill in a form

That money can be spent on anything to help your child if thats going on a trip to the aquarium, swimming, yoga teacher, a teacher to help them learn a new language, having lots of 1-1 time to help confidence or toilet training basically anything that will improve that childs experience

You dont have to pay for it, you dont have to donate time to make sure these extra things happen and your child gets to do extras they may not of been able to do before

Everyone should fill in the form and if your nursery doesnt give you one ask for one because its free money to benefit your child

TheFairyCaravan · 20/05/2015 18:53

I swearr you've only started this thread to cause a bun fight.

AGirlCalledBoB · 20/05/2015 18:53

Well then why are you complaining, you do get benefits so why act like such a snob.

They give the form to everyone and I think it's a good idea. It helps the school get more funding that will benefit all children.

Original poster
OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 18:54

I'm not over sensitive about my son to be honest, I can't ever say I have notice people tutting but if they did I genuinely would not care. I know he has issues regarding behaviour and development and if it comes to it I'd be quite happy to explain them to another person. Oh and as for the veg sticks and houmous remark, I'm not saying that you do care, but you claimed that my son would no doubt be eating cheeses stings when he starts school and I was simply putting you straight about it.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 18:55

We aren't lay abouts who expect down thing for nothing so please don't compare us to that or similar.

The only person going on about people claiming something for nothing is you, OP.

AtomicDog · 20/05/2015 18:57

It's probably because census day is Thursday! If they get the pupil premium for your child before he leaves, they'll likely get the whole year's worth and the new school won't, even though he'll have left. Money for nothing!

Heels99 · 20/05/2015 18:58

Nobody has called you a layabout. But seems unanimous you have issues understanding some things. Like being given a form that is for all parents is not a personal sleight. Do you now understand that?

WalterMittyish · 20/05/2015 18:59

Wind up, yes? Because no one is actually this much of an ignorant snob, surely?

Mrsstarlord · 20/05/2015 19:00

Aah, but OliviaJ claims 'different' benefits which doesn't make her a work shy fop unlike the rest of the benefit scum

It is very important that she is not viewed by anyone to be in any way similar to anyone who claims common people's benefits.

It is also vital that we all understand that her child's SEN are in no way related to her inabilities as a parent unlike the rest of us work shy parents who clearly don't give a toss

And god forbid that her children might eat a school dinner!

HelenF350 · 20/05/2015 19:00

'Those type of benefits'?! You get tax credits, these are paid by the government and still benefits. Or am I missing something? Confused No idea why you would choose to be offended about this.

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