To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

[OliviaJ]

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

[zazzie]

My has asd, we are hands on and he is very "behind". I think you are over reacting due to your childs sen.

[Heels99]

Mind you I can see that children of ignorant snobs may well do worse generally in life...

[TangledUpInGin]

Oh this has really pissed me off. Until recently I was married and in the high enough earning bracket to be eligible for nothing. I'm now single and damn grateful for any help I recieve. Difference between you and I, is that I never judged, or would expect to be judged for getting the help I needed/was entitled to. Let's hope you're never in my position eh?

[sliceofsoup]

OP it is not all about you or your kids FGS.

You are offended that you got handed a form that everyone gets because you think that it says something about how the nursery view your family. Except, the nursery do not give a shiny shite how much you have in the bank. Why do you think you are so important as to have people wondering about your income? Are you a celeb?

[TheoriginalLEM]

OMG YABsoU!!!! do you think they should have looked at the way your dress and assume you are not on benefits???

My DD's school suggested i have a look on the website to see if i was entitled to free school dinners as we get working tax credits. I even sat in the secretary's office to do this. We wasn't entitled to it because our income was too high but i was grateful for the headsup. The secretary was very sheepish and discrete but i said, well im not embarrased! Why would i be, if i could have got free school dinners and the school received money on the pupil premium then bonus all round.

LMAO at your healthier pack lunch option - don't worry love, he'll be having cheese strings and fruit shoots with the rest of them once the novelty has worn off!

[BackforGood]

One of my ds's best mates at school was very capable (now at University training to be a teacher, as it happens). He was missing out on trips because his parents were on a low income and he couldn't afford to go, until I told him all about the fact he could get help with this through the pupil premium funding. I just wish their school had sent the form out to everyone so he hadn't missed trips before I found out that was happening and pointed him in the right direction.

YAB so incrediblyU it's just hard to believe.

[Jetgir1]

I am glad there is a standard form tbh. My kids are entitled to fsm/pupil premium (due to dh's disability. I see no shame in this) when my youngest went into reception I had to ask 6 people to make sure I had filled out relevant forms for them to get the money. Schools could be loosing out and kids loosing out with current 'tick this box get fsm' system.

[Fiddlerontheroof]

I claim FSM as I am entitled....do I actually need them? No, I could probably afford them, but claiming FSM gives the school extra valuable funding...most of the time mine go in with packed lunch anyway.

My kids are both very capable, top of class in fact if you'll permit me a little boast....the school teaches to the ability of the child, they don't assume FSM = less able kids! the only person doing that here is you.

And yes, SEN funding is very difficult. I have a child with SEN , it took all of nursery to get funding and hours in place for reception, I'm sure your child was still adequately supported in fact it sounds like they bent over backwards and paid for the extra cost of his support out of their budget!!! And it sounds like they've got provision in place for next year...that's more than many people get!!

[OliviaJ]

If I'm being honest I'll say in some cases no but in some cases yes. I have family members who don't work or who have been made redundant from their job and are now claiming out of work benefits, and in their case their chidlren are really well cared for, immaculately dressed and they know were they are and what they're up to when out and about. Then there are people like my Bil and his wife, both don't work (they never have) they have four chidlren together and two from previous relationships. They get every benefit going including FSM and in this case their children are significantly behind educationally and this is because they just don't bother helping them with their work, reading with them and although I know these kinds of families are in the minority, they do still exist.

[AuntyMag10]

Yabu, and I doubt she threw the form into your hand. Sounds like you added that dramatic effect.

[QforCucumber]

Do you work too op?
Just you make a point previously of how 'they know dp works'
also - you are fuming about being assumed to claim, yet confirm you claim ctc and cb?
If you continue to accept these benefits then you have no right to be offended.
Dp and I have no eligibility these, I wouldnt take offence in filling out a form to confirm this. Jeez.

[ArseForElbow]

Sorry but you are coming over as a massive snob.

[Mrsstarlord]

Are you for real?

There is so much wrong with every single one of your posts that it's hard to know where to start.

[Pipbin]

I don't care if you agree with it or not, statistics show that children from families that claim benefits are less likely to achieve at school.
I'm not saying it is the case for every family at all but it is a good broad brush to apply funding with.

[MarbulousMarvin]

Yabu my dd's nursery teacher gave me one and asked me to fill it in a few weeks ago, I asked what it was and she explained they were asking everyone to fill them in and that it was for extra money the nursery can claim for all children who's family income falls below £16k. I smiled and said told her we aren't in that bracket-she took the form back and said no problem. The only reason I had time to ask was because it was stay and play session-if she'd have given me it in the evening in the book bag without me being able to ask i would have just binned it. No need for drama or being offended.

[TheoriginalLEM]

Im going to roll out a mumsnet classic here (well at least ive seen it a few times)

OP - you sound a delight!

Is your surname Bucket?

[Lemondrizzletwunt]

YABU, because had you gone away to investigate it properly, you would have found it is standard. I appreciate why you were confused that other parents seemed not to be given it, though.

Pupil Premium allows the school to claim up to an extra £1000 per pupil on the scheme, which means that child will have better access to the support they may need in class (great if your kid has ASD), funding for school trips and that the school can invest in equipment that allows all children to learn more effectively. So really, by refusing to fill in the form you're probably doing your kids out of some extra resources.

And yes, agree with PP that FSM apply to all under 7 now.

[QforCucumber]

you are aware all children of a certain age are eligible for free meals?
You seem to be stuck under the assumption that only people eligible are low income - that changed a while ago.

[OliviaJ]

And no "love" he won't be having cheese strings or any other processed crap. He is extremely fussy with his food due to textures but in some ways this has aided his nutrition as he does not like things like chicken nuggets as he hates breadcrumbs, nor does he like chips, pizza, or cheese. However he'll quite happily sit there and eat houmous with carrot and cucumber sticks, wholemeal bread with tuna and sweet corn, wholewheat pasta and homemade sauce, you get my drift, oh and he has an obsession with fruit so will have at least two or three pieces a day, so sorry to disappoint you!

[Bobolbach]

Sorry, but I do find it funny that you are outraged at someone thinking you claim benefits when you actually do.
But obviously the right benefits??

[QforCucumber]

Wow, just wow.
I am partial to a cheesestring.

[OliviaJ]

And yes, I do work but for an agency on an as and when basis, usually weekends or night shifts.

[Moreisnnogedag]

I think "give your a head a wobble woman" is one of my new favourite phrases.

The nursery haven't set the timescales for giving these forms out, the government have. eberyone gets one - I did and haven't filled it in as don't qualify. I'm not mortally offended, it's asking me whether I'm on benefits not my favourite sexual position.

I imagine the ni numbers are to, y'know, easily verify whether someone's has filled it in right. Otherwise everyone would just tick yes to get extra funding for their school.

[zazzie]

Do you think children are behind because their parents don't try hard enough with them?