Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be resentful of husband and his car choice…..

146 replies

woolythoughts · 20/05/2015 15:25

Long time lurker and just registered as I need third party opinions. I am fully prepared to be told I’m behaving like a toddler and am prepared to accept the findings of the jury….
Whenever I change my car, husband always has to upgrade his so he has “one better”. I don’t think he realizes he’s doing it but he does.

I traded my falling apart truck for a basic with no toys 2002 E class. Not long after he traded his old car (can’t actually remember what it was) for a brand new Prius with all the toys. I then traded the E for a 2002 SLK and before long he had a 2006 Captiva. When I changed for a 2008 CLK within a few weeks he got a fully loaded LWB Audi A8. Get the picture?

Ok, so I’m self employed and was potentially going to have a client where I was driving 1000 miles a week minimum. A CLK that barely gets 25 to the gallon was not an option so I started looking at Minis. Hadnt seen one I liked until DH was driving past our local dealer and saw the mini I now drive – henceforth referred to as Micky (not very original but its my Micky). It’s a 2014 Cooper D, fabric non electric seats but with the full connected pack etc etc. he saw it, discussed with me, and put a deposit down for me to do the trade when I returned from my client a day or so later. What he didn’t tell me was there was a virtually identical SD but with a few more toys. Yes it was 2K more but we could afford it – however it wasn’t quite as efficient which is why he went for the D. By this time, it was really too late to pull out of the D purchase and there was the danger of them re-negotiating the trade in on the CLK as we were getting above book for it. So I was happy and I resigned myself to Micky only being a D and not having toys.

Ever since I got micky, DH has been cooing over mini’s and complaining about the poor efficiency on the A8 and the cost of running it. Not surprisingly, today he’s buying a two month old mini cooper – except it’s a fully loaded SD.

I now feel like a small child – because I know it is childish – and a degree of resentment because his mini is better than mine. He knew I would in an ideal world have specced a brand new loaded SD but at the time we couldn’t justify it (a few things have changed in the last few weeks which means it would be justifiable). I want to be grown up about this, but I can’t help feel that Micky is now the poor substitute.

I don’t know if this is connected to my previous relationship where my ex DH always upgraded his computer immediately after I upgraded mine (we both worked in IT) so he always had the ever so slightly better machine.

Tell me to grow up or is there any chance I might be reasonable over my tantrum?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 20/05/2015 18:28

Not sure what your point was but hey ho!

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 20/05/2015 18:28

Are you going to hang matching fluffy dice in your minis? I do like to see a pair of well hung dice in new cars Smile

TheWitTank · 20/05/2015 18:30

YABU for getting new minis. In absolute honesty they are the most problematic cars we get booked in at the garage where I work. Even the guys at the mini garage who we speak to frequently admit they would by touch with a bargepole. That aside, just get over it. However many "toys" they have on, they all do exactly the same thing. They get you from one place to another. You can't go legally faster than 70mph here anyway, so I don't see the point in buying a super car for the school run. Anyway, the more gadgets and computers and ridiculous pointless options they have included the more things can (and will) go wrong and the more expensive it will be to fix. Grip handed over.

MajesticWhine · 20/05/2015 18:39

DH and I tend to change our cars at around the same time, I guess because we change our cars when we have a bit of spare money. It does sound quite irritating that he seems to be trying to outdo you, so in my view YANBU.
P.s. I love my mini and it's got toys.

penisland · 20/05/2015 18:44

Not sure what your point was but hey ho!

My point was that he should have at least bought a proper Cooper S and not an SD!

dogscantlookup · 20/05/2015 18:46

I like cars and I can see your point. This is silly behaviour from him. Perhaps you could just say to him that it is a shame you never get to enjoy being the one with the nice new car as he always has to upgrade his car shortly after you upgrade yours.

I think you need to mention it to him somehow, especially as this time he has gone and bought the same car, but a better model?!?

prepperpig · 20/05/2015 18:48

Oh my goodness do people really care about cars like this? You both sound incredibly immature IMO.

MrsFlorrick · 20/05/2015 18:57

Perhaps you could both get a job at Foxtons and then you'd both get two totally FREE Minis?

Only1scoop · 20/05/2015 19:00

Are you 'Sam and Paul' from Carherine Tate?

zeezeek · 20/05/2015 19:04

As someone who has been seriously considering buying a Mini - I am very thankful for this thread as after the comments here I won't bother!

APlaceOnTheCouch · 20/05/2015 19:08

zeezeek if you're only doing city driving and never have to cart children and family about then a Mini is great.

If, however, you sometimes carry more than two adults; you ever have to transport a pram and/or suitcase or drive long distances then a Mini isn't a good choice.

SoldierBear · 20/05/2015 19:29

I had no idea what half your post was about with all those letters which presumably signify something to some people.
I like a nice comfy car that does good mileage. Oh, and I prefer red one.
Minis, in the original incarnation were fab. Now they just look stupid and pumped up. SO, YABU for buying something masquerading as a Mini in the first place

Topseyt · 20/05/2015 19:35

You both sound like a pair of toddlers.

I actually lost count of the number of cars you two seem to have had and virtually gave up reading your post about halfway through, it was so long winded.

Lucky you for having shedloads of money to throw around buying cars willy nilly, minis or mickeys or not.

Make sure you have "HERS" printed across the top of the windscreen on the driver's side of yours, and "HIS"in the same place on his. Also, each of you need to get one of those stick-on notices to put in the rear window to say "toddler on board" or something like that.

Matching his and hers furry dice are also a must, as suggested upthread.

As for me, I am happy with my elderly little Vauxhall Corsa. It is going strong and suits me down to the ground.

championnibbler · 20/05/2015 19:46

I upgraded from a skateboard to a scooter.
Then my other half went and upgraded from a reliant robin to a lada.
i'm right fed up, i am.

MadisonMontgomery · 20/05/2015 19:54

I don't get it OP. Why don't you just buy the best version of the car you really want? Then you won't care what he drives.

CrapBag · 20/05/2015 19:55

I can see how it would be annoying tbh. Why does he need to change his car so much? It seems like you change yours because it's getting old but he has to do one better.

Why can't you actually ask him why he does it? I don't believe he doesn't know he is doing it btw.

TTWK · 20/05/2015 20:45

The OP and her husband sound ideally suited. They deserve each other.

AtomicDog · 20/05/2015 20:52

It all just sounds like such a waste of money (and I'm not on the breadline).
Just get something efficient (unless you're self-employed in the motor industry and have to impress clients, obviously).

Janethegirl · 20/05/2015 20:55

My dh has a mini, I hate driving it.

ComposHatComesBack · 20/05/2015 21:01

The OP and her husband sound ideally suited. They deserve each other.

How can you be so cruel this poor woman's hairdressermobile car has a non electric seat.

Can you imagine, she will have to adjust the seat with her actual hand.

The inhumanity.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 20/05/2015 21:08

My friend's husband sounds like yours, he simply must have a better car cos he's a man or some nonsense.

I'd say something.

FatAli · 20/05/2015 21:10

Wow. I got bored before halfway.

quietasamouse · 20/05/2015 21:16

Have you asked him why he keeps doing it?

Fleecyleesy · 20/05/2015 21:19

Ask him to swap minis with you. You get the nice one, he can have Micky.

MakeItACider · 20/05/2015 21:23

Good Lord you lot are mean fuckers!

What's wrong with caring about what sort of car you drive?

Op, I'd be really pissed off with this actually. He's done it so many times it's gone beyond a joke. Have you mentioned it? You really ought to.

But, what I can't understand, is why the hell you keep buying cars that don't have all the extras in them?

Seeing as you're self employed, you should probably be getting cars on a lease option. In which case you could upgrade your cars far more frequently than he could.

I'd actually be really tempted to hire a car for a month, wait for him to buy a better one, and then buy something better. Very childish I know, but would be SO worth it to see the plonker's face!!